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The other day while going through some old files, I found a notepad with some stories that I had written years ago. With my strange sense of humor and unmatched bizarre wit, I wrote some really off the wall ones. smile

Please to Enjoy:



Some days you wake up and its like a bad dream. The pain is unbearable; you just wish you could stay in bed. You yank the covers up tight to your chin wishing that it were really the weekend or that youve already called in sick. Then the alarm rings! That blasted shrill crow of an alarm, screaming at you to get your butt in gear.

Freezing cold now, out of that toasty warm heaven of a bed, you mutter filthy obscenities at the digital monster still wailing its baleful sound. All at once, reality strikes you, like a venomous viper through your reflection; and what a sad, terrible sight you are! No amount of check pinching or sucking in that quite obvious gut will make you look or feel any more human.

After a rush of unpleasantly cold water and a quick dash through the suds, you are now dripping icy trickles onto the bathroom rug. Oh BLAST for the need of a sweet room heater here to warm you up.

With your clothes still sticking to your back and your hair far from dry, and after slapping around a bit in the bathroom, you grab your shoes and coat, and head for the kitchen.

Now you think, the mornings complete, just crab a cup of hot java and I am on my WHAT!??!!? You didnt set the coffee?? Oh PERFECT! Well, after grabbing the keys, stubbing your toe and slamming the front door, you frantically head to the car hoping to beat the lines at the Java Hut. Well, sure enough, just as you pull up about fifteen other cars have just shot up in front of you.

Defeat accepted, you turn around and make your way across the busy town to the fateful place that tends to hold your life in balance with a small scrap of paper known as a paycheck. You turn onto a strangely deserted road and pull into the oddly empty parking lot and with that curious look you make your way to the front entrance. As you reach for the handle, you notice a small sign on the reception desk just inside the building. You reach for your glasses inside your pocket and in putting them on you peer inside the window. Slowly you begin making out the words Closed for Holidays

All of a sudden that blasted SHRILL wailing alarm sounds off and then you realize you dont work! Slamming the alarm off, you yank the covers back up to your chin with only the usual chores of the day facing you. Oh yea and there was just one more thing

Look for a job!!

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Comments are welcome smile


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