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i love drew fuller but whats more importaint, i have bin noticing my love patterns latley and they are off the charts maybe i'm just trying to replace the one i realy love. and now i think everyone i'v told i liked since the 6th grade as bin nothing but a replace ment for him. now i don't care whose reading this my one true love is named Shawn Ritter. and i don't know what i'm supposed to do.i'm in love whith him and i feal realy bad for my friends and all the drama they had to go through when the other people where nothing but replacements. i feal realy bad and i don't want to go through this anymore. how could this happen to me, me with no talent, me who's always bin alone, me who nobody likes. i in my past, went down a rode of depresion hating my life wishing i was never born hoping that i could just dissapear. so much counsiling. i hated myself, i thought everything in my life was my ffault. there was so much pain so much suffering and it was all my fault. at least i thought it was. i even came pretty close to suicide. it was a long painful life that i don't think i'll ever escape no matter how far or how fast i run it will always be right behind me watching and waiting untill i am the most vunurable. i just want the world to know who i realy am. just a plane ordinary girl who needs to find the right path, this is not a joke, even now as i type this i'm crying, i never wanted the world to know me for who i realy am, but it seams i have no choice, the world must know. i hope that one day shawn will read this. maybe by then i will have found the right path, the good path, the light path. the one i need to take to find myself. the one that only i can take. but that dosn't mean i don't need help finding it. help me if you will. reach out to me and i will try as hard as i can to reach back. to live an ordinary life that is my one and only wish, and to find true love but even still i'm cying out for help, i have bin, even now after all i have gone hrough every life i hae had to see being torn away from it's body, so much agony . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . now you eather help me or you don't but i do ask that you do, please, for the sake of the children that i will one day have, help me.


thank you