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Last night, i stayed awake untill wee hours of the morning thinking about thoughts i wish i didnt have. I remebered times when i was a child. How my mother when she would say she loved me and my brothers equally, her actions said differently. I always found myself in trouble when i never did anything. My brothers would always do things my mom would punish us for and I would always gain the blam. She would never listen to me when it comes to an explination. When it came time for punishment she had a belt she would whip us with. Always me the hardest because when it was my brothers that got in trouble the belt would be drooping as it hit. Also i remember, anytime they got in trouble my mom would "make up" with them for beating them by giving them ice cream or some other treat. I figured out that this happend because i was my fathers favorite. When my dad was home, i was always with him. I knew that as long as i was with him i wouldnt get in trouble beause he was a witness for my whereabouts. I also remebered, once my dad was going on a business trip and all i wished was to go with him. I had cried myself to sleep that night. This is all i can handle thinking aobut at this time, so i may put more later. This was all back when i was about 4 years old.