Hi, I'm back. I've cut my leg. I'm depressed. I'm hurting. I'm a wreck. I'm sorry if I hurt any of you. I'm sorry to make any of you worry about me. I'll be fine. Just about three more weeks and my broken leg is healed. Uhm... I've fallen deeply for someone again. Sadly tis not my Jitty. Sorry Jitty. I love you still, but it's not going to work, we all know it. I've sprained my wrist for falling because a crutch fell so I have been typing pretty slow because it hurts and because i have to take breaks to type it up because of the pain. My mentality is weak. I'm smoking again, but worse this time. I smoke more a day than just one or two. I'm eating much less. I'm working out alot. Bad mixtures, trust me. I've become closer to SHAID and Bradley. Yes, I still talk to Bradley regardless what I was forbidden. I'm going to be part of an anime my friend will be making with an animation company. I will be a voice actor for my character. I must learn Scottish words and accent. I must learn to sound real and not fake. I have alot of time to do this, but it still panics me since I have to do so much ontop of that. I will not be moving to England after all. I will be staying here where I live. I need a job, I can't find one. I've gotten myself all worked up over so many things. I seem to be coming down with something as of this morning. I'm breaking I cant relax. I am so stressed and angry and hurt and loving someone I don't think I can have and not sure if they feel the same way. I have been betrayed by Dove. SHe betrayed my trust and spilled my secrets without my telling her she can. She is no longer my best friend. She is just another girl who's gone and betrayed me, just another notch in my pole of betrayal. I am alone. I'm lost. I need a hero. I need a love I know is there but unsure and frightened to reach out and let this person know. I do not wish to harm the relationship I have with this person. If this person is reading it, I'm sure they wont know I'm speaking of them. None still know who I love dearly. Who I love the longest so far... It might be obvious to some... If you think you know, please, don't say a word. It will probably end up hurting me if you so.
Love you all my Dearly Beloveds,
Dante
Zellis Love · Tue Jul 08, 2008 @ 10:30am · 0 Comments |