Some how it feels like everytime I get on the internet I feel an over welming feeling of depresion that I can't do anything. I mean I feel like I can't even RP right...It feels like I've lsot the talent...it was about the only thing I felt I could do and now...it's gone. I havn't made a good RP character in years. All my new ones suck and I just want to get rid of them. Half the RP's I'm in on my guild I just want to pull out of, because I suck so hard. *sigh* Everything I write sucks......gods I hate everything I do. I don't even know why I try ay more...I kinda just want to give up, I mean I don't know what the point is. I don't even want to really get on the internet any more because I only get up-set at my lack of skills.....I really don't know what to do......I don't think I'm depressed again, but there is something wrong with me. Normally I don't get this up-set about this kind of thing, but I can't look at anything on dA with out feeling depressed.......*sigh* Oh what to do.....Of course even when I get advice I'll just ignore it.....I mean no matter what anyone says I don't believe them...I know I suck and no matter what anyone says I'm not going to listen....I'm so hopeless......Why do I bother, I mean really....I keep trying to get over it but I can't. I mean I'm even to start to feel like I can't to characters I thought I was really good at. I mean I've been RPing Gojyo in Mariku and mine RP for so long and suddenly I felt like I wasn't doing him right. I'm getting the same feeling with Hakkai too. I don't know what to do. Why do I suck so hard? Why is my level of fail so damn high? I mean I'm only having a problem with these kind of things. I mean even akki who just started RPing seems to be better at it then me. I really just want to give up.......*digh* I think I'm going to go home tonight and just sitting with my bunny....he'll make me feel better. Maybe I'll use my work to line his cage, I mean I'll never get any where with it. Guess I'm done whinning now.....I really wish Mariku had stayed the night again.
Baku -- Bunny · Thu Jul 10, 2008 @ 01:18am · 1 Comments |