I have less to do this week. My schedule is certainly clearer, but I can't help but have this feeling of being overwhelmed. I only have two articles that I'm working on, which is nothing compared to the marathon of 6 that I had last week. But still, I feel like I can't breathe. And it's not like my homework is that bad either. But for some reason I feel like I can't keep up. Even though I get it done on time, I feel two steps behind. I don't think I'm focusing in any of my classes, and I don't feel like I'm putting 100% into the paper like I should. I feel like I'm just floating through...I hate that feeling. People tell me that I'm determined and will get things done, and that I'm reliable and responsible. But who are they kidding? Everything is so hazy right now that I can't grab on to anything. My writing is mediocre, and I'm not trying hard enough, but when I think that I'm going to try harder, I don't. I feel so drained, and it's only the fourth week of school. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and sleep through the rest of my classes today. Probably the suckiest thing out of all of this, I've lost my passion. It was writing, but that seems to have faded. I can't get passionate about anything, not even God. It's probably because I've drifted away and now it's up to me to go back. I need a dream. I'm graduating in two years. That's not long. I don't even know where I want to work. All I know is I want to travel, but nothing specific like the others. Gah! Why do I feel like such an empty shell!! Is it because I'm not doing everything I should be doing? Why do I feel like life has to be one giant, long to do list.....
 GilraenTasartir · Tue Sep 13, 2005 @ 05:05pm · 0 Comments |
