emo emo How do I love thee??
With my heart
With my soul
With my life
I say I love u
I say I need u
but everyday
I find myself more and more unsure...
more rather...scared
'I don't wanna get hurt again'
I always tell myself that
Strangely u aren't my first but I have never felt this way before...
I really love u but I am scared of hurting u or myself...
I always felt as if u were mine....which made me happy
but recently I found out...
I found out she likes u too...
Do you like her? [yes]
Why shouldn't u....
she is prettier
you have known her longer
she spends more time w/u...
Would u love me enough to never speak w/her again??? [nope]
Would u love me enough to listen to me rather than her??? [no]
These r questions I wish 4 u 2 answer....
but I am scared of the responses I may get
What if u fell hard 4 her??? [u did....]
One question right, one simple answer
wrong...4 this question there will never be a simple answer it will be hard on me no matter what...
I am making u choose now...me or her??? [u chose her...]
I know there r only 2 paths 2 this and no matter what someone will get hurt...[yup and ty u ended up hurting me real bad...]
I never want 2 hurt u...
So should I keep 2 myself and bottle up my emotions??? [no that is impossible for me]
I tell my friends and they say that u will never leave me
that u only love me....[yea right they all lied b/c u DID leave me....]
but strangely it would never make me feel better...[cause I saw this coming]
I feel shattered...idk y....
Maybe it's b/c she kissed u after I left...well that is what someone said...
She said she was my friend but what friend kisses their own friend's boyfriend?
I am really scared to know if u kissed back...[blah w/e sure...cpr....yea right]
I can't believe she kissed u the day b4 us being together for 5 wks.
I wondered yesterday
I twas our 5th wk. together but u didn't talk to me...
you didn't call me...
Did u think I would hate u if I found out?? [u were prolly just busy thinking of her]
Did u do something u r ashamed of??? [u were just planning on how 2 break up w/me...huh.....bet u were....and how 2 ask her out....]
I will never hate u only love u no matter what....
If u do something wrong I can't blame u....
only myself
I will make myself believe I am not a good enough girlfriend....
I will hurt myself verbally and physically to take away the pain....
--------------------------------
The next day...
Why do I ask myself these questions
when I know....
u love her...
u left me for her...
Is she really better than me???
I want to know y...
Y her???
Y not me???
Did u never love me and just say u did???
It's true I can't hate u...I still love u a lot which makes me hurt more....
Atleast ur not hurting right???
....Idk if u r hurting or not...
U haven't spoken to me about that....at all....
Was it hard for u???
If it was hard 4 u then that means that u made the wrong choice...
I hope u notice that
Secretly I really want u bk [prolly not even a secret anymore]
I know if u were 2 beg 2 get bk w/me [highly doubt it]
I just know I would say yes...
I promise u I will not wait forever...
The max is a yr.
Until then goodbye me lover...my reason for sweet suicide...
U lied u said forever...
Until then, goodbye my lover....my reason for sweet suicide....
