I'm am so damn close to looseing my cool right now. I cant stand life here right now, its just not a place where i can thrive living anymore! The tenesion between my mother and I is growing, as each day I see that she regresses into the child like state that may led into insainty,if she already has not hit it. I hate the fact that here I am bitching about my little problem whenmy best firends are going through things right now, but I know if I dont do something to clear my mind I'm going to have this bottled up inside just waiting to explode when it isnt needed. I just hope that I can hold on for a few years, I dont want to end up like the millions of people who slit their wrists just to ease the pain. When it never washes away, only the blood does. Or people like my mom who have shut themselves away and stop learning....... And saddly I always tell myself this, if I become her I will shoot my self, or hang myslef. Because I know how much of a barrin it is to be living with someone like that.... And I would never wish that upon even my worst enemies......
miko24 · Mon Oct 10, 2005 @ 05:39am · 3 Comments |