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DoA is a horrible game. I shall update this entry sometimes |
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Dead or Alive, more commonly reffered to as DoA, is one of the worst fighting games I have ever played/seen. It is a fighting game that has blinded it's players with beautiful girls for over a decade now. I am getting sick of it all. I look past the bouncing breasts to see this terrible game for what it is. The character designs are terrible as they are completely unrealistic and boring. You can argue with me as much as you want and you will always come up on the short end. The best thing to do is ignore me completely on this subject if you wish to talk about it, because trust me; you will lose. The only thing redeeming about this game is the large wardrobe of costumes and the stage designs(as in jumping from platform to platform, and interactive abilities). Why would you want to play a character made out of rubber? I don't know about you, but where I come from people aren't plastic. When you punch someone, do you hear the sound of someone's ribs, jaw, or nose crack/break? Not in DoA, you get to hear a 'blump'. What is a blump you ask? A 'blump', otherwise known as a bad sound effect is what occurs when two terribley modeled characters come in contact. One on the recieving end of the blow, the other striking them. Soon after the 'blump', a character will fly like the substance that they are comprised of(rubber, for you skimmers) into a wall or several feet away onto the ground. Why are these characters so ridiculously strong? No reason, they just like making little 'blump' sounds and knocking people down, delivering small amounts of damage(although they fly far enough back you'd think they'd be dead). Moving on, what is the story about? Well to find out this aspect, you must pay very close attention to the sentance or two they say before they engage in battle(otherwise known as 'Petty Stretch Armstrong Combat'). Sometimes, you have to put the story together yourself! For instance, nearing the end of DoA3 a large fat winged man appears and attempts to kill your character. Why? You don't know unless you pay veeeery close attention to what is going on. the simple solution would be to ask someone who is obsessed with this failure of a game(Emuko...). Let's move on to the selection of characters. Okay, now this is weird, I am looking at the selection of characters and low and behold Hayate has no nipples! Nothing there except.. Nothing! Another thing to note with these charcters: All the males are have hairless bodies. Could this be a side-effect of having rubber for skin or something else(The lack of work on the designers part)? Okay what am I seeing now... All these girls have double D breasts asnd are skinny as a toothpick. I realize that this attracts gamers, but it still does not change the fact that this game is terrible. You can mask your women with fake things, but this 20 cent game is masked only by stubborn gamers who refuse to accept the truth that their terrible game really is terrible(Emuko...). These creations show no sign of character development other than the occasion gasp and scream throughout the series. The only way to see your character's growth, is through the rendered cinematics. The male characters are interesting(disregarding rubber skin, lack of any hair, and oversized muscles) however, as you can look at the actual character without having to move those damn breasts out of the way. Their clothing is perfectly clean, why? Your guess is as good as mine. Clothes aren't clean after one day of wearing them, and if I am not mistaken Hayate was supposed to be in prison for some time. His pants did not have a fleck of dirt or blood. Nothing. Okay moving on, Hayabusa. Eeeeeverybody likes him. But guess what, the only reason he stands out in the world of DoA is because of his own games that require no help of sex appeal at all. He had games that were on the Super Nintendo that sold millions of copies, much like his more recent games(Ninja Gaiden/Ninja Gaiden: Black). So let's take a look at what we've discovered so far: This game called DoA is created. No one likes it because Tekken is much better. Further into the game, we add larger breasts. Still not much fanfare, but enough to make a difference. Players still prefer Tekken. Even further into time, we get many players after the realization that Hayabusa is in the game! Wow! This guy never needed a D cup to get fans did he? No, he enticed gamers well before then with his early Ninja Gaiden hits. DoA is supported by 3 things: Breasts, Ninja Gaiden, and stubborn gamers(Emuko...) who will never accept the truth that without them and those other supports, their game would be a pile of oozing crap.
More to come, I am just tired of typing right now.
ObsidianSnake · Tue Oct 11, 2005 @ 12:50am · 3 Comments |
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