I should be in school...but too much b.s. going on there I don't need to add to my life right now, so I'm staying home. Doing homework, cleaning my room and sorting through photos since 9 a.m.
Mood: Reflective, Isolated Listening to: Sympathy For The Devil- Stones Reading: Poison- Chris Wooding Watching: The Life of K.A.B. razz
It's one thing for me to go through pictures of good times gone by but a whole other thing to do it while listening to a burned CD entitled "Oldies/Rock n Roll" with songs like: Wouldn't It Be Nice- Beach Boys, Summer of '69-Bryan Adams, Mrs. Robinson- Pennywise, Sympathy For The Devil- Stones, Santa Monica-Theory of A Dead man and Free Falling- Tom Petty. And with the occasional stop to re-read letters and poems to and from people I know(people I don't have photos of). Life?s getting difficult for me cause there's no one I can seem to share these thoughts with but those who aren't available.
It doesn't help much either that my Dad has begun his whole the-end-of-the-world-be-prepared-s**t again. God he's been telling me the same thing since I was 8 years old, do you know what that can do to your mind. I blame the Matrix for my father's the-end-of-the-world-be-prepared-s**t, but I was brought up to listen and I have.
I've listened to everyone for as long as I can remember, I guess what I'm getting at now is that I just want someone to listen to me. But even when I'm offered to I don't feel it's fair to dump so much on one person, especially when it's someone I care for. I don't know why so many people open up to me and in the last few months it's been just overwhelming.
It's partly why I don't need to go to school today. I'll learn little there that I'll end up using in my future, like doing art in French (cause I'm in French immersion) we're doing stuff on fairy tales and scenes in class. I can't stand how ignorant and uneducated and immature most of my class is most of the time. The problem with us is we don't bend for anyone but ourselves. And with everyone bending like that it's a wonder we get anything done.
I can't think with them all their B.S. clogs my mind with stupidity. A friend outside of school once asked me what my problem was, the answer? The majority of the adult population and many results of failed parenting, which make up or will become in 4-6 years the majority of the adult population.
It truly amazes me how many of us can't get it straight cause we won't take responsibility for ourselves. I guess that's why I look down my nose at the human race. It's pathetic. But in all fairness(which there is little of) I shouldn't be speaking, but then again my actions haven?t all been accounted for, and probably won't till my judgment day.
I don't have much faith in anything with the way I've been brought up it's better in my opinion to just assume then sell myself to something that may not even exists, I guess that?s just one of the gambles we take in life. Gambles I never really devote myself through once I've made that mistake once, even if the circumstances are different. I don't like taking chances, it's not a logical thing. It's like why get wet when you could stay dry? But I already know the answer to that; Just for the Hell of it.
In my opinion we humans have already created and done enough things just for the Hell of it maybe it's time we do things we can all benefit from something that will add us. I think the majority of humans just got to carried away with what others thought and sidetracked with their purpose to play the world by how things look, not how they are. I blame the media for this.
But I can't change the past, but I can change the future. I chose this path I'm on because I believe it's a higher path and will lead me to a greater purpose? Perhaps but for know...
I'm staying home. Doing homework, cleaning my room and sorting through photos since 9 a.m.
Kareys_Phoenix · Wed Oct 12, 2005 @ 04:53pm · 0 Comments |