"i'm giving the baby away. someone else should raise it. i can't.."
a fleeting look of shock--i brace myself, expecting to hear protests, but instead, i hear:
"you're not pregnant!"
"oh. what? yes i am. i have been for nine months now. i've gone into labor already."
i just decided a few hours ago that i am giving the baby away. everything's so rushed. and my sister's dog is having puppies. i need to go attend to that before i sit down to have this thing.
my sister and nieces gawk as i pull my dress up--very nice olive green color--to show them the hideous thing. i drop the fabric back to the ground.
"i'll see you later" i stride away.
i keep crossing under the same bridge.
there he is. i abruptly realize i never told him. we'd had the discussion before--our decided course of action was "don't". i seek some escape, but there he is, and he has seen me.
"i am giving the baby away."
he looks hurt, but hardly surprised. something in his now-taciturn face shakes me. i feel trapped, the way i did when i realized it was too late to be rid of the thing. i desperately look for something that might make the ache go away.
my sister's dog.
something feels very uncomfortable--the sensation, i soon realize is pain.
but before i can turn, i am blinking the sleep out of my eyes, and it is time to study for genetics.
i hate those. they are terrifying.
linda_alma_obscura · Tue Mar 03, 2009 @ 08:03pm · 0 Comments |