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My journal is not the most updated, and I don't even know if people bother to read it anymore. But I guess I'm hopeless enough to a point that I still post on it, and I still try and let people know what is going on with me.

Well I guess I can describe the last 3 months of this still new year.

Well as for me 09 has been the worst year I've experienced yet. It started by getting kicked out betrayed and lied to...and more losses. Things looked pretty dim till recently.

It is now that I think I'm going to start anew. I have dropped those that had caused too much drama and problems in my life. I have found old friends that I should have never let go, I have even found someone special that has acted as a beam of hope for me to find my way out of the dark pit I had put myself in these last few months. I have also gone back down the road I feel as though shouldn't have left. I am only 19 and it is my time to act a fool, so smoking and drinking have become another part of my life that I enjoy frequently. I hang out more with my family and close friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin, the ones who did not quit on me when the worst became horrible and chaotic.

Keep your fingers crossed for me guys, I am trying, and now I am on a path that doesn't drive me to insanity.