Today, I hate my friend. And I feel guilty about doing so. I like and I still want to be his friend I just wish that he would disappear. Go out and take a walk, walk into a job and a place of his own. I like hanging out with him, but sometimes I really can't live with him.
Me and my sweetheart, we were just hanging out in the same room, both on a computer, but it felt like we were hanging out together and that was what counted. When are friend walked in, everything changed. I felt like the odd one out. Part of that is my fault for not speaking up (I know that he won't be reading this, so I complain here). I often fell like the odd one out when I hang out with my sweetheart and people that he has been friends with longer than I have. It doesn't help that the flash game my sweetheart was playing had a phoenix spell that wiped out all of the enemy and the terrible jokes about "flipping the bird" just never ended. I think that I am going to have to forcefully ask that they just stop those comments when I am around because that was really starting to grate.
I also think that my friend has some passive aggressive tendencies. I don't know if I am just imagining the tone to his voice or the way that he acts. I try to be assertive, even though I learned bad passive aggressive habits. My biggest problem is that I don't talk about the issue immediately. I wait until it has been a problem for a while and then talk about it. My trying to not create waves, I guess. However, when speaking out will have more positive affects than not I tend to do so. But not today. Today, I really just wanted to spend with my sweetheart, alone. But that was interrupted. I want the two of us to go on a walk, shopping, and dinner. But it looks like we will be having company.
Got to go, my time by myself is just about at an end and I am not complaining to the people I am with. I have issues, but I always work through them.
Autumn Fyhr · Sun Nov 08, 2009 @ 10:27pm · 0 Comments |