oh my god... I'm so pathetic... I cried myself to sleep two nights ago because Ryu told me to shut up... and he told me to ******** off... I let that get to me...
I was joking like 'I feel so hated!' and he said 'well you're not so shut up' and i got mad...i was shocked he said that... then I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong...he told me to drop it but i pushed him anyway...and he told me to ******** off... I got so mad... it hurt so much... he's never said anything like that to me...and if he did, it was a joke and we were saying it to eachother... but i signed off and got on a few minutes later to talk to Jen.. and..she invited me and him into a chat... idk...we weren't talking...then he said he had to go..he said 'sorry about today' and 'i love you so ******** much' 'bye' then signed off... all I said was bye.. It's still bugging me...I did everything I possibly could that night to keep him off of my mind...i cleaned, I trained, I drew, played games, wrote...everything...I couldn't get him outta my head... as soon as I tried to go to sleep, I went histerical. I was crying like crazy. I sat up all night till about 2:30 then finally fell asleep..cried myself to sleep obviously... I had a dream that I was just laying in his arms..falling asleep...safe with him... but that only made it worse...cause all i wanted to do was be with him and have him holding me..to feel his touch... I need to talk to him so bad...but he wasn't on yesturday... and hasn't been on yet today...
im gonna go study my japanese... w.e...bye...
I was joking like 'I feel so hated!' and he said 'well you're not so shut up' and i got mad...i was shocked he said that... then I tried to get him to tell me what was wrong...he told me to drop it but i pushed him anyway...and he told me to ******** off... I got so mad... it hurt so much... he's never said anything like that to me...and if he did, it was a joke and we were saying it to eachother... but i signed off and got on a few minutes later to talk to Jen.. and..she invited me and him into a chat... idk...we weren't talking...then he said he had to go..he said 'sorry about today' and 'i love you so ******** much' 'bye' then signed off... all I said was bye.. It's still bugging me...I did everything I possibly could that night to keep him off of my mind...i cleaned, I trained, I drew, played games, wrote...everything...I couldn't get him outta my head... as soon as I tried to go to sleep, I went histerical. I was crying like crazy. I sat up all night till about 2:30 then finally fell asleep..cried myself to sleep obviously... I had a dream that I was just laying in his arms..falling asleep...safe with him... but that only made it worse...cause all i wanted to do was be with him and have him holding me..to feel his touch... I need to talk to him so bad...but he wasn't on yesturday... and hasn't been on yet today...
im gonna go study my japanese... w.e...bye...
