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Don't go getting any ideas, Tasha
OK, dude, this f***ing sux. I think I'm, like -- infatuated or something like that. With a guy. A really hott guy. And don't go gettin no ideas, Tasha, aka brokenfallenangel666, cuz it ain't Geddy, or however the hells you spell his name. But, like, I had this dream about him, and we kind of decided we were going out without saying anything. Then I went over to his house and before I left he kissed me. sweatdrop You know, Tasha, I think you're right, I may very well be turning into a prep. Of course... no, girls can be infatuated and still be goth. I mean, I know I'm never going to be with him. There's no hope of that; I'm way too much of a dork. On a slightly lighter note, you know what these idiot preps said about me the other day? OK, well, the teacher was letting us watch movies cuz there was nothin else to do -- it's family dynamics; we must've spent half the class doing nothing but watch Lifetime and Disney movies -- and I put my head down cuz there were too many lights on. Ten seconds later, these two preps on either side of me start talking about me when they know good and well I'm not asleep. This one girl's like, "Every time I see her I'm thinking, 'Man, she would look so much better if I gave her a makeover.' I want her to get her hair layered, and maybe a trim and some make up, and something besides jeans and a pullover...." Then this other girl says, "Yeah, you know she cuts herself? Man, I could not do that, I could not be cutting on myself with a knife, or a razor -- it's like that one Lifetime movie, where that girl broke that glass and cut her arm up and rubbed the blood all over her --" "Yeah, I saw that, that ain't right --" Man, I hate them so much. They just need to mind their own business. It doesn't concern them at all. Yeah, I bet they couldn't do it. They don't have a reason, and they don't have the guts. They're afraid it'll hurt, or that they'll pass out at the sight of blood, or that they'll bleed to death -- what the hell do they think the point of it all is? I do it cuz it hurts, and I want to hurt myself. There's noone else to hurt! Don't they get it? I hate myself enough to the point where I would cut my own skin just to hurt me. I don't have a problem with myself, it's just me that I hate. I cannot stand me. I'm so annoying. I want to kill me, but I don't want myself to die. Myself is cool, it's just... I hate me. And the other day I realized, That's why I'll never be with him. That's one of the thousand reason's I don't have a snowball's chance in hell with him. I'm a cutter. He doesn't like cutters. I'm not really complaining; I mean, if truth be told, I don't really want to be with him either, I just think he's really hott and funny and cute and nice and sexy and hiding and -- heart No, seriously, I don't want to be with him.
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