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Dear Kitty,
That damned Clique tried to chain me up when I left to go out hunting last night. How did they know I didn't start by going on a date with Hugh? Somehow they must have found out Mom is making sure I come home at a "decent" hour from my dates with Hugh. She doesn't know it's easy for me to go out the window after I come home. And those nights I get hungry, I do just that. I leave the door locked and the TV on so she thinks I'm minding my own business in my room. And just in case, I arrange the covers I borrow from my closet under the bed covers so it looks like I fell asleep.
I felt like something was wrong when I first jumped into the tree, but I was so hungry I kept going. When I got to the base, I smelled them, but didn't realize they were all there. When I was several yards away, they surrounded me. The rattling of the chains confused me so that at first I didn't notice the wooden stakes in their hands.
Darrell spoke up: "You're not going to kill anybody tonight. If you try to fight us--" He held up his stake.
I could take them, I was sure, but not all at once. And Mary was there, looking scared and sad, and she said, "I don't want to hurt you, you know that. I just don't want you killing anybody else. If we chain you up, maybe you won't be able to."
Even that little wallflower Melanie said something: "Could it even cure you, Carletta?"
I said, "How could it possibly cure me?" I thought of saying, "Do you know how sick I got in the hospital until Mom started bringing me that disgusting old animal blood?" but it was too close to the old, most horrible memories, I clamped my jaw shut. I must have zoned out just thinking about Daddy's tortures, when they got those chains around my wrists! I wanted to fight them, but somehow I was paralyzed, reliving those nights . . . Oh, Kitty, it was horrible! Then I was really imobilized. They led me off into the forest, which as you know isn't far away, and I barely noticed them saying they were going to stay up all night watching me. I don't remember what happened next. Only that later I was off by the lake licking someone else's blood off myself. I wondered if I'd killed those kids, and kind of hoped I had. But next to me lay the body of an old man, some homeless guy I'd seen around town. Had I pretended to seduce him? Yuck! Was that you, Kitty, or do I have another personality at work?
The Clique was at school today, giving me dirty looks, so I knew I hadn't killed them. I got into a conversation with them, trying to find out what happened without giving away that I didn't know. They said something about getting sleepy and they blamed each other for not keeping watch over me. I guess Mary went into a sort of trance and couldn't do a thing as I broke those chains and ran off. She said it scared her the way I hissed at her, just like a very angry cat, and she didn't know why I didn't kill her then and there. When she said that, I told her maybe it was because of her promise not to kill me and to find a cure for me.
Kitty, you do take over and save the day for me. Knowing what you can be like, I am surprised you didn't kill them. What could hold you back if I wasn't consious? Would I even have held back?
Wondering,
Carletta
 Carletta · Tue Feb 21, 2006 @ 10:09pm · 0 Comments |
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