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Not really a dream update, more of like just getting my thoughts out & hopefully organized....

So I've started noticing a few things about myself, at least whenI really was paying attention & such. Anyways. Turns out that not only am I a big flirt, but I don't trust very easy. Seems that as much as I try to be out going, I always stay "inside" myself a lot.
And this got me thinking. Why? Why would I strive to flirt & try to be out going when every fiber of my being is telling me not to?
Honestly? I haven't a clue yet >>. I do however have a feeling that it has soemthing to do of my fear of being alone. Though, it's still very unclear.
Yes, weird as this all may seem, I strive to at least understand the stuff I do, evne if most would say "It's all natural". Yah, no >>. I wanna know why I look for 'attention' from others & then yet shy away. It's really confusing & irritating all at once >>.

Well, anyways, I thought this would help clear things up, but all it's really done is confuse me even more, lol. Till next time folks lol