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He knew it wouldn't last forever.
The young blond looked down at the wilting flower in his hands, and couldn't suppress the sudden wave of sadness that washed over him. It reminded him of things. Things he didn't want to remember, and things he hoped they wouldn't remember.
As he stood up and walked away, blood dripping down the contour of his chin, the words he last spoke to them before he left echoed briefly in his mind.
Don't remember me.
---
"Len."
The boy whose name was called looked up at the men before him, tilting his head to the side in a gentle motion as he looked up at them.
"Yeah?"
The one with the long, purple hair cleared his throat awkwardly as he avoided the younger male's glance. He didn't know what to say to Len anymore. Honest to God, he didn't. As he tried to gather the words to speak, the other blue-haired male glanced over at him, a frown forming on his lips.
"Gakupo, don't try so hard," He whispered to the other male beside him, then turned back to face the blond in front of him.
"Why have you been avoiding us so much?" He asked, much to Gakupo's surprise. He hadn't expected the other to be so blunt, so straightforward and right to the point.
"Kaito..." Len stared at him, now forming a frown on his young, childish face. "You both know why. I mean, I've told you before..."
"But that's not a reason to leave us behind," The words came out before Gakupo could stop them, and after realizing what he had said, he grit his teeth, looking away from both the blond and the bluenette. Len looked at him, obviously taken aback, and the frown on his face turned into a sort of scowl.
"If you were me, you'd understand, but since you're not I guess I can't really blame you for being so ridiculous about this," The young male nearly hissed, as he threw the men a glare and stalked off on his heels. Kaito almost reached out to stop him, but decided against it wisely, because he knew Len would only get even more frustrated if they said anything more.
There was a long pause between the two as they both watched the blond boy stalk off, both unsure of what to say. Yes, they did know the 'reason' why Len was avoiding them so much. It was really quite simple.
The boy was deathly ill.
But neither Gakupo nor Kaito thought that was a valid reason to avoid them. Wouldn't it normally be the other way around? Wouldn't you want to spend as much time as you could with the people you care about before you were to pass away?
"It doesn't make sense to me," Gakupo muttered, glancing over at the other beside him, who shook his head in response.
"Same here. But what can we do? He's made up his mind to steer clear of us, and you know how determined he is..."
A sigh escaped both their lips, almost at the same time, as they glanced at each other one last time before beginning to head in the opposite direction of the other boy. Although they hadn't spoken it in words, they had both made up their minds to devise a plot to get the boy to stop indulging in his foolishness.
---
Even though the footsteps echoed loudly in the room behind him, Len didn't even have to turn around to be able to tell who was there. He already knew Gakupo and Kaito had come back to speak to him today. It had been a few days since they had spoken to him, so he had almost started to believe that he had finally gotten them to leave, but apparently not.
"So can we talk, or are you just going to ignore us again?" Kaito asked, staring hard at the back of the blond in front of him. Len let out a sort of huff, not even bothering to turn around to face them.
"I don't know," He said quietly, although his voice sounded slightly muffled. The older men behind him exchanged glances before turning back to stare at the boy again.
"Just listen to us, alright?" Gakupo cleared his throat, before continuing to speak, "You don't need to leave just because you're sick. It doesn't matter to us that you're ill, we just want you here."
"Well, it should matter!" Len spat, before biting down on his lip, feeling a little bad now. In a quieter voice, he pressed on, "Because I don't want you two to feel hurt after I'm gone."
"Don't you think we'll feel hurt still if you leave before you're... dead?" Gakupo asked, confused. Len shook his head in response.
"No, because if I just leave, you'll both start to hate me, right? Wouldn't that be better than still having feelings for me when I'm long gone?"
"You're wrong," Kaito scowled slightly, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, "You know well that we won't hate you. You're deluding yourself here, and you know it!"
There was silence between the trio as Len tried to think of what to say. He, even though he didn't want to ever admit it, knew they wouldn't start to hate him and that he really was deluding himself. But he still clung onto that stupid belief because he didn't want to think about the reality of things. That, to him, would be more painful than the illness taking over his body at this very moment. Letting out a sigh, he slowly turned around to face the men, who both looked at him in shock at what they saw.
The blond looked paler than ever, his eyes sunken and nearly lifeless. Blood dripped from both his mouth and his left eye. His body seemed smaller than it had been before, and it almost seemed like he was shaking even just from simply standing there.
"Maybe I do know it, or maybe I don't. What does it matter? You know what the end's gonna be like no matter what."
Kaito grit his teeth, as Gakupo stared at the boy with widened eyes. He didn't have to say it for them to know what he meant. They knew. He was still going to leave.
"Don't be an idiot, you--" Kaito began, his voice shaken and raised, but he was cut off by Len doing something neither of them expected him to do.
He, with a quivering body, walked over to the older men, hugging them both at the same time. They looked down at him, taken aback, as the boy nearly clung to them. It didn't last very long, however, and as quickly as he had moved closer to them, he moved away, giving them a weak and almost painful smile.
"Goodbye. I won't see you again."
And then Len spoke his last words to them in a whisper, turning away from them and walking away for the very last time. The men wanted so badly to run over and stop him, but they just didn't have the willpower to do it. They knew it was wrong to let him leave, but they couldn't bring themselves to stop him. Because if it was what he truly wanted... how could they go against his last wishes?
---
Time had passed, albeit being only a few months. Rain was pouring down on the men as they stood before his grave, not even caring that it was soaking them to the bone. Guilt was overcoming them as they though of how they hadn't been there for him at his final moments. Even though they knew full well that's what he had wanted.
"...I still can't believe it," Gakupo muttered after a long silence. For a while, there was no response, and silence took over them once again. It seemed like forever to them before Kaito finally decided to let his voice be heard.
"I feel horrible, knowing that we weren't there, you know?" He whispered, and Gakupo nodded softly, glancing over at the bluenette, noticing the pained expression that matched the one on his own face.
"Yeah, but... it's what... he wanted, right?"Another nod in response, this time from Kaito. Then silence took over again, and for a while, no words were exchanged as the men stood there, looking over the grave with almost lifeless eyes. It was another long while before, exchanging glances and nods of approval, set down the bouquets of flowers they had been holding, and without another word, walked away from the place that they would probably never return to. Because they both knew it would only make things worse.
But no matter what happened, they would never forget his last words. No matter how much time passed, no matter how much pain they felt, the last words of the one they had both loved would never leave their minds.
Don't remember me.
-fin-
tobi ame - xx · Sun Dec 04, 2011 @ 05:30am · 0 Comments |
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