Have you ever had one of those dreams in which the person you would be happiest with is there? The only bad thing you never see who it is. You know the feelings they evoke in you, the way it would be to be held by them, etc. You just never know what their face is like. I had one of those dreams last night. I woke up with this extremely deep sense of longing and loss when I awoke. It's like he was there, but he was gone when I woke up. I know who it will be. I just have to find him. It's the finding that is getting frustrating. I don't know how long I can last without him. I know that I've survived this long without him, but I don't think I can last longer. The more I think about this, the more depressed I get. I can't give up, though. He is out there. I just have to find him. Who knows? Maybe I already met him, but I didn't recognize him.
On a slightly more depressing note, I was in a card shop looking at Mother's Day cards. I saw the grandmother section, and I almost burst into tears. Another holiday I won't have to buy a card for my grandmother. This particular sense of loss hits me at the oddest times. It's getting better, but it hurts. It will continue to hurt, just not as much.
Oshun Community Member 
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