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Tu aaya Sapna Bannkarr: You came as a dream |
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I write this entry in memory of my Kyle, who took his own life because of my secrets. You are forever in my dreams.
Leaves fell from the sky like rain and tears. A leaf for every sin and word that slipped from our lips. I pushed past them, blinking away the darkness that lay across my lids. They hid the sky, the stars, all the sins falling in their thousands around me, sliding off my cheeks and tangeling in my hair. I could almost smell them rotting there. Vines curled round my bare feet and up my legs, reaching and stretching slowly for my knees, to forever root me in the nightmares, in the truth. This wood was huge, endless. But it closed in on me like a box, bringing the darkness closer, invading my sleep like putrid smoke, as the vines weave round my toes, pressing my soles into the dry mud. But I carry on walking, dragging my feet and pursing my lips to stop the darkness from choking me. And then, head spinning, I stumbled into the clearing, at the edge of the wood. The vines fall away as I walk slowly over petals and soft grass and get down onto my hands and knees to peer over the edge of the small cliff. I already know what I'll see - peace. The pink petals slide and glide over it's surface, glistening and calm, the lakes waters spread out before me, the silence surrounding each tiny ripple. I stare wided eyed at the endless blue, bottomless and unmoving. As I looked down the tears and the leaves fell straight into your eyes as you stared back at me. As always, you were in my dreams. You smiled sadly as I leant closer, reaching out a hand that never seemed to touch the surface. I wished I could have grabbed your hand and pulled you out, turned back time to save my best friend, the boy who mended broken hearts and swim with me in my dreams. But my sins and wet leaves dragged me down, bedraggled. I closed my eyes as you said those words for the hundreth time: Tu aaya sapna Bannkarr Yaad Bankarr reh gaya. You came as a dream And stayed with me as memories.
{.Razor.Thin.}
 Osala · Tue Dec 21, 2004 @ 09:03pm · 0 Comments |
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