|
|
|
Why by Ashli Leighton June, 2006
As I push down on this razor, I think of you...
All the times you hurt me...
of how much I love you, and you claim to love me back.
And I don't know what to do...
do i make this cut, to take away the heartbreak?
or do I put down the razor, and pretend like nothing ever happened?
Oh s**t! Its too late, my wrist is bleeding!
I can't stop the blood, it just keeps flowing!
What do i do?! I don't want to die!
As I sit here, trying to stop the bleeding...
I think of all the people it will hurt if I die...
And I think of my sister, and her life without me...
And I think again of you, the one man I will always love...
and I remember what you've always told me, "You die and I die shortly there after..."
If I die right now, I want you all to know I'm sorry!
This is all m fault, but it was an accident.
Hold on, the blood, its stopped flowing!
Am I still alive? I hear distant voices...
but I don't recognize any of them...
No, there's your voice, "Don't you dare leave me!"
But why is yours, the only voice I recognize?
My eyes begin to open, and I see all of you...
Standing around my motionless body, crying...
"Don't cry." I try to say, but no one seems to listen...
"Is she dead?" I hear from another recognizable voice...
Is it true? Am I really dead?
I can't be... I hear you and see you...
"Look! Her eyes are open!" I know that voice!
Thats the voice of the boy I call my big brother!
I hear everyone go silent... What's going on?!
Then I'm sitting up, getting hugged by strangers...
Then the hug I've longed for this whole time...
You hug me, holding me close, "Don't you ever do that to me again!"
We exchange "I love you"'s
Then the world is black and silent...
What's happening? This is not a funny joke!
Turn the lights back on! So I can see all of you!
Then I see a faint blue light... what is it?
And there is my friend saying,
"You did this, but you get another chance... don't do what I did..."
Then I wake up, was it all a ream?
I check my wrists, no! I really did it!
There's blood comin throught the gauze wrap.
Then you're there again. With my sister by your side.
"Why is it bleeding again?" she asks you. "I'm not sure, lets clean it up though..." you reply.
The next day is hard, for everyone I know.
I spend half of it in my room, silent.
The other half, I won't leave your side.
Or will you not leave mine? I move, you follow...
It doesn't matter to me. Your mine, and I'm yours.
We'll always be together, there's no stopping us now.
We're in love, we've made that clear.
So why is all this happening to us?
Why did I do this in the first place?
Why did you do it, when you did it?
You say its cuz you don't want to lose me...
but yet you know, that you never will...
I promise, never to leave you, and never to hurt myself again...
As long as you promise me the same thing.
I love you, always and forever, and once again... I say, I'm sorry.
~Ashli Leighton
SuicidexxBaby13 · Wed Jul 19, 2006 @ 02:20pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|