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I am deeply in love with this girl...I fell in love with her a long time ago, and she apparently felt the same way about me. Well I introduced her to my best friend, and later found out he started to put the fake charms on her to win her heart. I had told him she was off-limits, and I trusted him...but he asked her out anyways.
While they were still going out, which was stupid of me, I told her how I felt, and then told me she loved me too. We never stopped loving one another, and every time my "best friend" screwed up I had to help him out of it...
The guy is a creep. We all met each other online, and he never wanted to meet her. I still dont believe he does, but he'll say he does to get himself out of trouble with her. He played video games all bloody day on Christmas, which hurt her feelings immensely. He didn't give her his address, though she was no more than 2 hours away from him and willing to visit him while she was on vacation. His excuse: His mother doesnt want him to meet her. Now I will allow him that his mother is important to him, since his dad died. But love should rank one above video games and mothers, don't you think? He said he would see her in March, when he turns 17. But this was all provided he gets his license. Well it is now January, and still no license. -acts surprised-
I excommunicated him from my life, because I realized who he was. I tried to tell this girl, but I can't...it would kill her to realize that the boy shes been seeing all this time doesnt exist. He has something like skitzophrenia. Every time he sees something "cool" in a movie/video game, he takes that and uses it in his personality. He lies to her daily about who he is.
They broke up. Twice. Once because she found out he still had a girlfriend, and once he broke up with her because she wouldnt allow him to spend 17 hours a day playing video games. He said she was being too controlling. Sorry chief, video games < Girlfriend.
She still loves me. Shes told me that. And I still love her, more than she knows. I love her enough to marry her someday. But I know that she loves him more than she does me. But then again, how can I compete with the perfect guy he makes himself out to be? I can't lie as fluently as he can...I can't turn myself into a video game character.
Every time something happens, he makes everything perfect for a while. She was in the hospital, so he sat and played video games and started playing "the concerned boyfriend" role when she got back, and only when she got back. I was here, next to the phone and the computer, all day for a week waiting for any kind of news. And now he makes everything super, because he feels guilty. I've seen him do it before. Every time he screws up, he puts on all this fake charm and uses it on her until shes okay again, then leaves and goes back to the same old s**t, putting video games before his girlfriend. How can anyone stand that?
I know its coming off sounding like I'm just some jealous third party who wants to bring this down. I am. I am massively jealous, and I can admit that. But I also know who he is, and I can't let him hurt someone I love as much as her. Everything I am saying is true about this guy.
So I'm going down to her area next month, and I'll get to spend some time with her. That makes me extremely happy...but it hurts to know that even though we both love each other, we can't do anything because of him. She loves him more than she does me, I know. And I also know that if I wanted to hold her, to kiss her, I would have to think about him. And so would she. But remember, I am the only one willing to see her in this little triangle.
So, thats it. I tried to tell her who he is, and she knows he puts on an act every time he gets in trouble. But she is human, and she still loves him. She will believe him, no matter how stupid his excuses...
Am I doing the right thing? I want her to love me just as much as him, like she says she does, but I also want the chance to be with her...the chance I once had but passed up. I regret that more than anything.
 Ryo Nariyama · Tue Jan 04, 2005 @ 10:49pm · 0 Comments |
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