So alot has happened in the last year. I'd had breakups,been heartbroken,been the heartbreaker,etc. But i've also been happy,confused,in love. And right now i dont know if i am confused or am in love. I really hope it is love,because he seems to be the kind of guy i could spend the rest of my life with. And heck he does want to spend the rest of his life with me. Over the past 5years that i've known him he has changed alot,especially since he changed school,met a new bunch of friends and moved. He used to be a bad a**, bigtime, but now he seems to have calmed down and doesnt get into as many fights,etc. If he still got into trouble all the time i dont think he would be right for me..... But since he doesnt i think he may be right for me.
We aint together right now... but he did ask me out the other night on the phone,but i didnt think it was right to get asked out on the phone again. I always get asked out that way or through sms. And i told him to ask me another time. Because not only that but also because of the fact that i dont know if i do truely like him.
Im pretty sure i do like him for real, because last week when i was doing nothing,and just about to go to sleep,he popped into my head out of nowhere (and mind you we had only spoken once in the last about 10months) but i kept thinking about all the good times we have had (which is alot of good memories), i could probably write a whole book on all the memories,good and bad that we've had together.
Right now i just feel like crying because i just want to hold him again,and to feel his lips again... how that feeling felt so good and i was so happy then.
I get to see him tomorrow,so i will know when i see him how i truely feel. And i know he is going to ask me out again sometime tomorrow. And i just hope it is at a good time if i do really like him,and not just think i do.
Some people may think im crazy for going back there again,but we never broke up for a bad reason, i think that most of the time i was just running away from something that was really good and well i may have been sick of the travel in the summer. But heck he is worth the sweating on the train for an hr on the way home,even to just see him for 15mins. It would be worth it just to see his smile and face light up when he see's me.
As im writing this i almost have tears running down my face because i havent seen him in about 10months. That is 10months way too long.
I never thought that i would be thinking i want more then a friendship with him, but here i am,and im almost certain i want him,to keep, forever and a day.
Here's some lines from songs that remind me of him:
"All the money in the world could never add up to all the love that i have inside,i love you..." That reminds me 110% of him because everytime that song came on he would sing that part of the song to me heart
"Wanna be the one to hold ya,wanna be the one to move ya,wanna be the one to make all your dreams come true,wanna be the one who needs ya,wanna be the one who holds ya,wanna be the one you wanna be with everynight.... lying in bed i see images of you and me you're always in my head, these feelings wont end i need more of you every single day so say that you'll stay... there is no doubt your exactly all ill ever need i want you night and day, ill cherish the love you're giving me so tenderly, ill give you all i get, give you all i able.... wanna be the one who loves you..." Cuz every single word of it i want to be to him.
And here's some song lyrics:
Baby It's You
~ Jojo
Can somebody explain to me
Why everybody is trying to be
Living like a celebrity
Doing what they see on MTV.
Ice is cool but I am looking for more, simple things is what my heart beats for.
Cause that's me
I don't ask for much
Baby
Having you is enough
You ain't got to buy nothing
It's not what I want
Baby it's you
We don't have to go nowhere
Its not what I want
Baby it's you
It's not for what you got
Cause I know you got a lot
No matter what you do
You always gettin' hot
It's You,
It's You
Baby all I want is you, yeah
It don't matter that your car is fly
And your rims are spinning on the side and
It don't matter where we go tonight
Cause if I'm with you I'll be alright
That's cool but I'm lookin for more
It's your love that my heart beats for
Cause thats me
Don't have to spend a dime
Baby
I just want your time
Beautiful Soul
~ Jesse McCartney
[CHORUS:]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me
[CHORUS]
Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try
[CHORUS]
Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide
[CHORUS]
Here's some poems:
1.
You're kissable and cuddly;
You're lovable and sweet;
You thrill me every minute,
And sweep me off my feet.
You're charming and disarming,
Desirable and true.
You inspire and impress me,
And that's why I love you!
2.
smile whenever I recall
The special moments we have had;
Walking always hand in hand
Through the good times and the bad.
Sometimes, I think it is a dream --
The love you give me could not be;
But then when you are in my arms
There's no mistake in its purity.
Whether I'm with you or far away,
My thoughts are always drawn to you
Like a compass needle pointing North
To a love much more than true.
Of all the people on this Earth --
How lucky can a person be;
To have found the likes of you, my love,
With whom to share eternity!
3.
Sweet Spring is here, my dearest love;
The flowers are in bloom;
Their fragrance travels through the air
And floats into my room.
Grim Winter's grip upon our love.
Has given way, at last,
And now, we are able to share again
What we had in the past.
Pleasant memories flood my mind;
My heart begins to race,
At the thought of kissing you again
While in your warm embrace.
xxx_Saz_xxx Community Member 
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