It's not been a good day.
I got sick, so I haven't really been on Gaia or on AIM. I got on AIM today and found Zahir online, to my surprise. He's rarely on AIM, and if he is, that means it's a weekend. Today is not a weekend for him; it would be Thursday.
I asked how his sister was; I was hoping Nat was feeling better.
She died.
He was calm about it... or at least, he seemed so on AIM. I felt really dumb; I had nothing smart to say, at all. I wanted to help him... but what can I do? I don't know if he wants to talk about it. I don't know if he wants a distraction. I could have suggested we both go play Guildwars... but I don't know if he would have been insulted by that. But he had to go comfort his grandmother.
I hope he's resting right now. He's strong.
This morning, about an hour ago, I got a call. I was pissed. Who the ******** calls at 3 am?
It wasn't a good call.
Someone very, very close to me is in a coma. They had a stroke. That's all I know, I didn't get very many details. But they're old, so it's not likely they'll survive.
I mean, ******** WHY?
I'm pissed, I'm tired, and I'm really really... about to break down.
I want to hit something hard until my fist starts to bleed, then keep hitting it until I stop feeling anything, and then break it. And then I'd STILL keep punching whatever it was.
Or try, anyway. I'd probably be in too much pain. But I don't know how well my rage would keep me going.
I just wish I could do something. I can't help her that's in a coma, and I can't bring back Nat for Steve. I would if I could, too. I really would.
The only good thing that happened is that IHD came back online today, and she says things are better for her at home. heart
 Angel Rosiel · Thu Oct 12, 2006 @ 09:29am · 0 Comments |
