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The Story of an Emo Kid When you hide your emotions for so long, it gets harder to let them out. You want to cry so bad but you just cant. Its even harder when your parents taught you not to cry and to not give up. Knowing if you broke down people would see the real you, they'd know the truth. Its just to much to handle. You go to your room, blast the music and bring out the blade. If you cant cry with tears, you'll cry with blood. "What a failure you are, resorting to the blade again", you silently think to yourself. Friends and Family unaware to the heart-breaking pain you put yourself through. How could they be so blind? Why cant they see you're dying inside? Even if they knew the real you,the emotional mess you've made yourself into,they would understand, they'd yell,cry,scream and fight, killing you even more. The torturing mind games played by the ones you love seem to never end. Always darking the world around you, bringing you to a deeper depression. Soon you dream of suicide and the many ways to die. Your friend finds the bloody knife, he questions you with suspicion. You deny your obsession but he knows its a lie. "Im always there for you" he repeats over and over, hopeing you'll believe him. You know all to well its just a lie, he wont always be there like he promises. You admit to your problem,saying you'll change. He walks away satisfied. In your heart you tell yourself you know you wont stop, it was just to make him shut up, to make him go away. As soon as hes gone the razor comes out and you make another cut. You start to feel weak, vision blurred, a bit dizzy. You fall to the ground gasping for breath as you black out from blood loss. You wake up in a plain white room, dazed and confused. Your mother rushes in with your siblings close behind. They all begin crying, saying "we missed you" through their sobs. You still look confused, wondering where you are, your mind screams "How did i get here" "Why am i alive" This cant be true, I was supposed to die!". Crying, you look away whispering "why". You are released from the hospital about a week later. Back at school your friends are in shock, almost scared of you. Some ask you questions, Many wonder why, others say they're sorry. None of them however are sincere. They try to show sympathy and empathy but they all seem to fake. Nothing changes, you're still thinking "i couldnt even kill myself right, another failure to add to my list" now you just have to live your life along with your untrustworthy peers and your fake hearted family. No one will ever understand you, the only loyal friend is your blade, and maybe thats all you need. (yea i wrote this during lunch today i was just kinda thinking and yea.)
fire_fox 92 · Thu Nov 09, 2006 @ 01:47am · 0 Comments |
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