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I'm not in character today... it's been kind of... depressing I guess...
This song has been racing through my mind out of no where... I had forgotten it for years and never really grew to like it. Then a few minutes ago I started singing it out of no where... and started bawling for no reason... Just... listen to the lyrics... they mean a little something to me...
Notice me, take my hand Why are we strangers when Our love is strong Why carry on without me
Everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you, baby
I make believe that you are here It's the only way I see clear What have I done You seem to move on easy
And everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby
I may have made it rain Please forgive me My weakness caused you pain And this song's my sorry
At night I pray That soon your face will fade away
And everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby...
-sigh- This entry isn't really meant for anyone's eyes.. I just felt like writing and had no way of letting my words come out otherwise...
So I guess... I should probably treat this more like a journal... and write what's really on my mind...
I'm miserable apparently... I had no idea until I started crying from no where and singing... it was so strange... such an uncontrolled series of actions that lead me to this messy destruction of a emotion...
Maybe it's because of the nightmare I had whilst I slept earlier today...
The dream seemed so real that I had nearly forgotten to wake up... When did eventually wake, I woke up with tears in my eyes and mascara and eyeliner leaving the remains of the damage this dream had brought to me.
I don't really remember all of it... but I just remember him leaving me and telling me it would be the very first and last goodbye I'd ever hear from him. And then he kissed me and told me, "You shouldn't be caring about me anymore, Julia... I'm not the one you need... this is goodbye... for now and always..." After that I closed my eyes and let the tears overthrow my vision... when he left... all I saw was a blur, slowing fading and growing smaller.
Then he was no more...
And I just... cried for the longest time and seemed to do nothing else... I wasn't able to get up... I just stayed there, sprawled on the ground, out in the rain, letting the sky weep with me...
I don't know what I would do if he left me... I can't live my life without him... I know one way or another... whether it be by grief, starvation, or by my own hands... I would die...
I guess need you baby...
xXxBride Of BattousaixXx · Fri Nov 24, 2006 @ 07:56am · 2 Comments |
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