well lemme see here.......life is just weird.....it keeps going up and down, good days and bad days......sometimes everything feels perfect other times i just wish life would end......yeah.....but thats not what im here to post about.....well it kinda is but w/e......yeah.....ummmm im really bored and kinda depressed/ confused so yeah.......i keep thinking really weird stuff.........about everything........my boyfriend, my family, my friends........everything........sometimes i just wish all my thoughts would stop, and let my mind rest for a while.........im always thinking about something.........and most of the time thats not a good thing........ugh......now im just being weird and sounding stupid.......oh well.......yeah i've been getting a lot of urges lately........to do a lot of stuff i haven't done in a while.......about 3 months actually........the longest i've lasted so far......cuz i promised aus that i would stop.......but now i really want to.....and he told me i could if i wanted to.......but i know he really doesn't want me to he just wants to let me make my own desicions.........*sigh* yeah......idk......i want to but i don't.........i want to for me but i don't want to cuz i know it will hurt aus and make my friends really angry that i gave in after this long.......ugh........i just want this year of hell to be over.......sorry that wasn't supposed to sound like it did........i just want next year to start so things can go back to normal......or at least as normal as possible.....i want the rumors to stop the people to stop asking me and for all the s**t to just blow over.......i mean seriously its been 3 months why won't they just leave me alone? why must they whisper behind my back and expect me not to hear it? ugh.......school pretty much sucks......cuz everyone knows me but thats not a good thing......they know me as his girlfriend......the one he was always with....blah blah blah......ok im now going to shut up cuz i don't think anyone reads this anyway and yeah theres no point in babbling when no ones reading.....oh and if someone does read this leave me a comment so i know.....well im gonna go......goodnightmares......
Akasha
akashadracul · Sun Jan 28, 2007 @ 06:22am · 0 Comments |