I feel so odd latly......it's really hard to explan...my moods all over the places...I feel like I should be doing something with my life, but yet feel like I should do nothing.....I'm trying to write and I'm now caring around a note book......I'm writing about Kurishu before he was stuck....peiceing togather his life......and my mind still wants to do soemthing with Saisuka....I swear I should just kill him to make him STFU!!!!!! But then I would miss him......, but damn is that boy sending off the biggest hate vibe of females and life right now.....what a pissy little brat! I want to drew...but I can't even force myself becuase I suck so bad......=_= Damn you low self esteem.....school is getting harder.....and it's harder to slack off with out failing.....I ahve two projects right now...sceince and english....The english one is on some book that I ahve been reading, but I've got nothing out of.....it seems like everything is like that right now.....no matter what I do or how much a pay attion I don't keep anything....*sighs* It's kinda getting me down........I still want to drew......I would like to someday have pictuers off all my characters.....all 34 of them....some of them have already been put on paper.....(Hardly any of them done by me....=_=) But the problem is I can't explain what they look like....there jsut in my head and I can see them....I couldn't put them on paper if I wanted too......it makes me sad.......Of course not being able to write anything good makes me sad......where the hell did my selfesteem go....*looks under rock* I mean for the Kurishu thing I liked it at first now I just want to burn it.....I don't even want anyone to see it...I don't want anyone to see anything I've been doing latly.....I jsut want tot hide.....and I'm not depresed becuase I don't want to go back on meds.....I don't need them......I'll jsut lern to shove all emotions off in some corrner of my mind.....emotions aren't need...not at all ...=_=....Owwie....my wrist hurts........stupid carpultunnal....or how ever it's spelt......I think I'm going to bed....I'll go work on that no emotion thingy......*sighs*
Baku -- Bunny · Thu Mar 22, 2007 @ 02:45am · 0 Comments |