saint is'nt so hot this week- she's very upset and she's not answering the door or the phone- i went to her house- she was sitting in the living room on the corner next to the phone- it was unplugged- joNA and i are worried about her again- she falls of the edg so many times too often now- she and i are just thankful she still has the strength to not turn to drugs to ease her pain- except when she takes sleeping pills- she takes to many and is out for days- "temporary acoma" she calls it- i did'nt get a chance to go in side to see if she was actually sittig in the corner but i just knew- i know her better than god does i'd like to say- she needs to talk with poet- he's like her male counter copy almost-
she lost all her books and its upsetting her greatly- i don't know what i can do to help- she does'nt have a job and has been trying to fin one for weks now- the one she got al her hopes up for has'nt called and everytime she calls she gets no one on the phone who willl speak to her- she's in hell- and not the kind she and i made- i don't know what i can do anymore- now i know what she means by that- i should probably get her lunch or something or a shot gun so she can kill things with it- she has'nt been sleeping either- and if she is sleeping, not well- i'm surprised she has'nt asked joNA or i to get er sleeping pills and some pandora yet- i guess she's trying to quit that- but then again she's always known how to play with it and not end up with the death card- "i guess she's scared that one day she will"- tha's what joNA said- i'm worried to all hell- she was'nt in class yesterday and i know she has a test today- i should buy her a new cross- she loves crosses- her small collection has'nt seen a new one on weeks- except for the one julie gave her for christmas last year- she hates christmas- saint does- ********- what can i do- what can any of us do- i know she's sitting somewhere feeling like she has no one in the world- ad i can unerstand that- because even if yo have friends or well known strangers one can always feel alone and abbandoned- i'll get her a pentagram or something that has the devil's face on it- she likes little things like that and cliche depictions of slandered god- i don't know- *smiles weakly*- i'll figure something out- ...- i'm going to end this thought i was going to write some things relating to myself but i think that can wait- i have tofigure out what i think of him first anyway- before i cast my verbal stones onto this digital paper- but all i can as of now is that "i think slayer loathes me"- stare
Lucifer_Saint · Wed Mar 30, 2005 @ 02:40pm · 1 Comments |