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Yeah. I've been really upset and mad at the world. Now for the people who know me, they would say happy/sarcastic Kirst? Will yeah. I've been like this since my parents split and i haven't been the same. I did that whole rebel without a care thing in 7th grade and then in 8th i hated everyone who touched me, even if they didn't know it (i keep my mouth closed alot). Then this year i slipped and realise i was sad and mad. I just want to lay down and close my eyes and hoped they wouldn't open the next day. Anything to stop my heart from feeling like an empty shell or to feel like i'm living instead of just breathing and waiting for it to all end. I want to get that feeling i got in 6th grade down to 3rd, we're even tho school was bad and my dad was always telling me i was fat and need to do something(which i pretended i didn't hear most of the time) I was believe it or not happy. I loved my friends and i loved being with them. I loved after skool when all my friends would hangout near the buses and talk, as pop and candy was passed around. Anything to hear the same old kids yelling my name at recess or to see matt and casey on the street calling me outside to play basketball or flashlight tag. But i can't stop the clock and i can't rewind. I can only look at my life and say "Will this is it".
Crying almost every night, pretending to be happy, hating my a*****e of a father, and breathing just so i can hang around untill my end....

Sound the bugle now - play it just for me
As the seasons change - remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on - I can't even start
I've got nothing left - just an empty heart

I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me - lead me away...
Or leave me lying here

Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care
There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere
Without a light feat that I will - stumble in the dark
Lay right down - decide not to go on

Then from on hight - somewhere in the distance
There's a voice that calls - remember who your are
If you lose yourself - your courage soon will follow

So be strong tonight - remember who you are
Ya you're a soldier now - fighting in abattle
To be free once more -Ya that's worth fighting for

By: Bryan Adams

I have a picture of ME AHHHHHH IT MAY CAUSE EYE DAMAGE!!!!

Thats my mom on the left and me on the right I LOVE MY HAIR. ANYWAYS AHHH RUN I MAY CAUSE UR DEATH!!! gonk
NOW ME AND MY SISTER BITCHES WILL KILL ROAR

Since i last wrote i've had my heart smashed by this guy i like poor dude doesn't even know, i'm like OH you have a girlfriend? cry I"M FINE!!!. So now i think i've decided to become a damn nun or one of those women who has like 20 cats and since i'm going to do that i decided i'm going to lose that weight i want and which by the way i've lost alot the doctors say 5 1/2 pounds put i was on my period so mom says it adds about 5 pounds of water weight so its probably like 101/2 pounds

Yeah its weird since i got my hair done that was nice and stuff but i've been going to the pool and like working out and watching what i've been eatting and stuff so i can tell were i've lost weight but like i mean... i feel pretty i saw the life guards today checking me out and it was um weird. I mean i'm so use to being back seat to Sarah and Hannah in the checking out department, in Hawaii i was so in the check out department but i guess when u don't acted like urself u tend to set off i'm cute mode. But like i guess i just want to be cute for next year maybe i can get a pic of me on the comp of how i look now but who knows. Oh and i just found out i'm not a D anymore i'm a Double D oh schylers going to have a feild day with that when she finds out!!!

Yes i'm going to see my brother tomarrow and can u say YAY! hahahaha, i'll get to meet his gf and i've lost a size in jeans SO YAY for that too, even other people can tell i've lost weight hehehe

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help to fix myself
Your making me insane
All I can say is

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last dance

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel (SCAR BY PAPA ROACH) My dad last year ever thing i hurt for

_______________________________________________________

(IT'S MY PARTY) Last 2 weeks when they guy i use to like hurt me

Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
Judy left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he's supposed to be mine

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Playin' my records, keep dancin' all night
Leave me alone for a while
'Till Johnny's dancin' with me
I've got no reason to smile

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

Judy and Johnny just walked through the door
Like a queen with her king
Oh what a birthday surprise
Judy's wearin' his ring

It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if it happened to you

____________________________________________________________
My boyfriends back(my own reasons i like this song)

(Spoken smile
He went away
And you hung around and bothered me every night
And, when I wouldn't go out with you
You said things that weren't very nice

My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
When you see him comin', better cut on the double
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You've been spreadin' lies that I was untrue
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
So look out now, 'cause he's comin' after you
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows that you've been tryin'
And he knows that you've been lyin'

He's been gone for such a long time
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
Now, he's back, and things will be fine
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
'Cause he's kind of big and he's awful strong
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, he knows I wasn't cheatin'
Now, you're gonna get a beatin'
What made you think he'd believe all your lies?
You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size
Wait and see!

My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)
If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation
(Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)

Hey, I can see him comin'
Now, you better start a-runnin'

*instrumental*

Wait and see!

My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation
La, hey la, my boyfriend's back
La, hey la, my boyfriend's back

To all that are receiving this broadcast we are now entering our
thirteenth hour of continuing cloud coverage. This ongoing event has been
upgraded to a national emergency. It has been a sleepless night here in Metro
Detroit as panic and terror has swept the streets. It seems much of Detroit
as well as the rest of the country are still unsettled by this unexplainable
cloud that still clutches the sky. From New York to Honolulu, Miami to
Fairbanks the expansion of the cloud has subsided but a wall of darkness and
artificial night still grips the land. Witnesses now tell us that thousands
upon thousands of people are emerging from sewers everywhere their faces are
painted and they look like CLOWNS!!! The people are running and screaming but
eye witnesses say they're not in pain its almost like a strange type of joy
has overtaken them. At this time we do not know where or why the people are
running but there seems to be an organized plan directing there action. Its
like a guiding force is giving them supernatural stamina. The immense crowd
of clowns are now on the move all in unison moving in one direction towards
an unknown destination. Its almost as if they see what others cannot heeding
an inaudible call that silently pierces this calm before the storm.

This is to all the girls from my skool u know who u are!

Artist: Nikki Cleary Lyrics
Song: Hated Lyrics

From the first time that i saw you
I thought you crawled out of Us magazine
Its no wonder that it wasn't all you
All the things that i wanna be

Everybody loved you and they treated you
Like you stepped out of a TV show
But if they really got the chance to meet you
They'd finally see how hard you blow

I hate you, i hate you
Cause i see through
To what a fake you are
You disgust me, thats why you must be hated

Like the winner of beauty pageant
You are the one i most admire
But as a loser i can only imagine
Wearing that crown but your heads on fire

Your the real american idol
Your the poor mans mandy moore
Your the e true hollywood story
About a two face strip mall whore

I hate you, i hate you
Cause i see through
To what a fake you are
You disgust me, thats why you must be hated

You got a lot of stuff
Stuff you don't deserve
You got a lot of friends
You got a lot of nerve
Trust me, you must be hated

La la la
La la la
La la-la la
La la la
Trust me, you must be hated

I wish i had your money
I wish i had your ride
I wish i had your boyfriend
I wish you'd choke and die

I hate you, i hate you
Cause i see through
To what a b***h you are
You disgust me, thats why you must be hated

I hate you, i hate you (la la la)
Cause i see through (la la la)
To what a b***h you are (la la la)
You disgust me, thats why you must be hated