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Easy Squeezy Beautiful Fire Demon |
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I was watching Yu Yu Hakusho the other day. This alone could have its own entry but not the focus of what I want to say. One character caught my attention, Hiei. When I used to be a fan, I was a huge Kurama fan. Don't get me wrong, he still is. I love Kurama's character. He is very unique. He is the nice, intellectual type but still a jerk. I love watching his fights because of the thought involved.
But Hiei is the focus. I was watching the episode about his past and he is such a deep character. clearly, the boy has abandonment issues. First his mother's people tried to kill him when he was an infant. this is of course ignoring the fact that Hiei was an infant at the time and would not have remembered this event. Then he was left by the gang who he had grown to accept as a family. How does one deal with this? He was the insatiable desire to find his family, not for companionship. He needs validation of his worth in the world. Hiei acts a loof. However, he has to know that somebody loves him. At least one person. He needs companionship even though he pushes it away.
So why is Hiei a brazen, rude, insolent character? In my opinion, it is a defense mechanism. He doesn't want to get close to people because he has been abandoned twice before. I guess it could be a bit of regression. when a child feels as if they are not wanted, they will either go away and cry, or they will be mean to those that rejected him. Hiei is doing the latter.
Does he have something to prove to himself? He says that he doesn't find honor in his life anymore. Could this be because he is contempt? he found his sister, he has people who care for him, and he finds himself holding things dear to him. He does not understand how to live when he has everything. This is the same as revenge. Once one finds their revenge, their life has no meaning. He doesn't know how to be happy and mistakes that for dishonor.
~Annie Lee
Annabele_Lee · Thu May 31, 2007 @ 02:19am · 0 Comments |
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no...no...no...no...NO! He can't do this to me! he can't be serious!
A good friend of mine wants to go and do something that could possibly get him killed because he wants a mustang. Hell no! Risking your life and getting hurt is not worth a car of any sort. I started crying when he was telling me this. If he died it would really hurt. We've become so close and I couldn't lose him. It is just breaking my heart to hear him say "Oh you are guaranteed an injury. Don't worry. If I die you can have the mustang".
IT ISN'T WORTH HIS LIFE!
I am hysterical right now but I can get over it. I hope.
Annabele_Lee · Wed Apr 25, 2007 @ 02:07am · 0 Comments |
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Im going to complain a bit about this Youtube thing. I can understand a lot of the things being deleted. As much as I loved it, i can see why companies would be mad about the Yu-Gi-Oh abridged version. However, I had to go through my folders and delete truly random videos because they "violated the tos". However, others were not touched. Children is the only FMA ova I can find. the other two are gone. why? It makes no sense!
full videos are gone. Yet right now i am watching Tokyo Sling by Weiss Kreuz (and laughing my a** off!). But why is this different from an Evanescence music video. Evanescence doesn't make money off of their music video and I already bought their CD. So why would they be mad? Is that not publicity? Now I can understand movies. Conqueror of Shambala was on for a while and I watched that before realising that I didn't want to buy it. ADV lost a sale because of youtube. Now my sale may not feel like a lot, but add that to the dozens of others who did the same thing. That is a few hundred dollars right there. Again, not my point.
My point is why? Titanic 2 was taken off because a company got mad. This didn't show enough of any movie. In fact it made me go out and rent Catch Me If You Can. This is publicity! Very good publicity.
so what is with youtube? Why can't I watch a music video made by a fan which uses a clip from fifty different shows? for another example, I went out and bought all of Saiyuki, D.N.Angel AND Weiss Kreuz because the AMVs got me interested.
Why are companies giving up on publicity?
p.s. I bought them all cheap off of Amazon! Amazing!
Annabele_Lee · Fri Apr 06, 2007 @ 04:40am · 0 Comments |
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When I have one of these nights, I shouldn't spend it reading fanfiction. It just makes me sad. I love these nights. Its like being drunk, but lucid. I want to be out and about on nights like this. They make me stir crazy. Its even worse when I am reading Schuldich X Crawford yaoi fics (one that is well written none the less). I have too many complexes to read that sort of stuff.
I adore Nate. He is so understanding and when I am upset he is always there to bring me down. He is so tolerant of my "god bashing" and accepts every aspect of who I am. He doesn't devote himself to me though. I doubt how faithful he is. That is a huge problem. He cannot commit to only me and I don't know if I can commit only to him. He may assume that I am his, which at this point I am not. We are not exclusive but I have made my intentions clear that I want to be. That was, before I met Luke.
Luke is an artist. He is incredible, deep and jazzy. Unlike Nate, he reaches out to touch me. He grabs my hand, latches onto my arm and touch me in gentle/casual ways. Nate doesn't do that. Luke and I are so calm around eachother and so comfortable. However, when I am with Nate and get high. Everything is electric with Nate where as everything is beautiful with Luke.
I adore Luke and I care for Nate. I love neither of them. I have to figure out who I care for more, because I think I am falling in love with both of them. I have loved once before and I hated it. Who would I be happiest with? Who is good for me?
I hate dilemas of the heart.
Annabele_Lee · Mon Jan 15, 2007 @ 08:31am · 0 Comments |
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urgh...so tomorrow is the day. The day that I start my indurance workouts.
Running to work up cardio...
swimming to work up lung indurance...
stretching to keep my leg and back muscles flexible and loose...
push ups to keep my arms tough...
sit ups to keep my abs strong and tight...
wall sits to get my thighs indurance up...
calf raises to get my calves strong and keep working...
This has to be on a daily basis. I have to be in shape for that awful thing known as...
BAND CAMP!
3 minute song...at 180! The fastest tempo Nazareth has ever taken a song let alone an opening number! I thought it would be fun but when you play first chair clarinet...it is hard work. The music is fast and challenging. Oh this is going to be a fun season.
Actually...the more I think about it the more excited I get.
WAHOO! rofl
Annabele_Lee · Tue Jul 18, 2006 @ 06:54am · 0 Comments |
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I can't believe that Syd Barret died. What more, I can't believe that I didn't find out until 10:45 that night! erg...I was planning on going to the mall and laying on the floor with a bunch of friends. I couldn't do that either. There are worse things in life.
So, I want to say something about Conquerer of Shambala, the Full Metal Alchemist movie. I have really mixed feelings about it. Over all I did enjoy it (the random chat party and Children were also a kick!). I love Edward and it tickles my buttons that he is the main character. As always, he kicks a**.
Now, for the problems I have. Why is Roy Mustang so pouty? Didn't he have some kind of reformation at the end WITH a promotion to Brigadier General? In the movie he is angst ridden and a corporal. Then, Wrath martyrs himself. Wrath was adorable, loveable, crazy and obsessed with Ed's body (not in that way perverts...well maybe *wink wink*). I don't think that he would martyr himself for Al and Ed. Now for my biggest issue...
GET YOUR OWN STYLE AL! From the clapping, to the jacket, to the long hair. Come on Al, you have been a suit of armor for about 4 years. I'm sure you would like to experss yourself in some way.
Then there was the tragedy. What happened to the leather pants? In the series, Ed wore leather pants. Oh dear...I wonder where they went to. I love leather pants except for the lack of fit around the a**. Yes, I own leather pants.
Annabele_Lee · Thu Jul 13, 2006 @ 05:13pm · 0 Comments |
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Well those are completely different circumstances |
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okay, so I am really getting into Gaia now. I have found that fanfiction.net kills my soul.
will you save my soul?
SAVE IT NOW!
Annabele_Lee · Thu Jan 12, 2006 @ 03:44am · 0 Comments |
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that is a horribly constructed pun. In march, there are many things to look foreward to.
1) American Release of Advent Children 2) KH2 3) I think Dirge of Cerberus 4) PS3 release?
Really I don't know how many of those are true. The last time I heard of their release dates that was true. I have fallen behind on the times.
"SPRING TIME FOR HITLER AND GERMANY!"
I just got done watching the version of The PRoducers with Gene Wilder. ******** hilarity!
Annabele_Lee · Fri Dec 30, 2005 @ 05:31am · 0 Comments |
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To the day I die, I salut thee |
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Well I decided it should be time to update. I don't know what to talk about though. Aren't those the most frustrating days? You want to express yourself but there is nothing to expres? Maybe I'll write a bit. Not here!
Well I have abused this journal. I have racked my mind trying to determine what it should be for. No conclusion has come. Im sick of this music. I like Nirvana but I have listened to it too often. It is the same with Within Temptation. So I am going through my REALLY old Yu Yu Hakusho and Sailor Moon mp3s and sorting them from the newer X and Weiss mp3s. Really that is kind of backwards. My anime choices have really changed.
So I thought maybe I would talk a bit about myself. Im a music major in High School. I am a sophmore. hmm...my hobbies include instrumentals (Piano, Bassoon, Sax, Flute and Clarinet), Japanese culture (anime, language, food), and creative writing. Isn't everybody a poet though? At least I grew out of emo goth poetry in 8th grade.
My goals in life are to study abroad for about 2 years, come back to America and begin my own publishing company or coffee house. I just want to own my own business and I want to be able to publish my work.
I have 2 years yet to sort all of that out. I hate feeling young. Technically I am only 15 and that makes me feel dependant. I am very independant and I fear monotony, spiders, clowns and organized religion. I am very talented at reading aperson through their eyes.
I just feel like typing now. I have a lot of bottled up emotions and thoughts at the moment and if they don't get written down or recorded somewhere my mind might explode inside my skull. Now Wouldn't that be a sight for the obnoxious kid who sits in front of me in le chemise.
Gum is disgusting (I don't have ADD I am just letting my mind wonder) It tastes like wax and has the same texture. I guess Im negative. Ive been called cold, negative, pessimistic and unfeeling. However I just don't like to show my emotion. I didn't have the easiest childhood and my adolescnece is proving to be just as challenging. From my boyfriend completely betraying me and my mother being very hostile I have alot of stress. I really just have to take care of myself and defend myself in this structure I call a home. I get ridiculed for my ambitions which leads me to give up.
Enough sadness...Yule is coming up. That is refreshing. There is still some snow on the ground from the storm a few days ago. though it is al slushy and brown it is stll snow. I can't help but be sad right now...Lilium is playing. Im going to change it now so My spirits can be lift...ed?
I went through 20 tracks until I found superdrive. It isn't the song I wanted. Im off to find that song. I don't know what it is called.
So I hope you enjoyed my idiotic ramblings. My thirst for typing still has not been satisfied. Im going to write because I love my keyboard. I m going to name is Juan Stephen.
Ja-ne all you gals and gents.
Annabele_Lee · Sat Dec 17, 2005 @ 01:20am · 0 Comments |
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