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time has passed so fast and so much has happened, i supose this is a message to all that i once knew and still wish i kept in contact with. For all of you..i say im sorry, i have returned, but for how long who knows, i have changed, and i fear for the worst it has been, change in a person is one thing that never has a positive out come, there are withdrawls for everything in life.
To Jessica, i have seen so much, and felt much more in the last few months then i have ever in my entire life, some of which i wish i never experienced. i would hope you are the one and only person that returns to my life. you use to be such spirit boosting part. you are such a good girl, and such a loving and careing person, i hope i didnt mess everything up by not being here for you..i dare nnot speack to you about much of anything that has happened...but im afraid you are the only person i really want to share myself too, you were such a good friend before i left, i wounder if i was even as close to as good as you. i do miss you deary.
kensi_loea · Fri Dec 16, 2005 @ 10:50pm · 1 Comments |
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love cuts hard and deep to stain the lovers heart Sharp and hot The steal ripps into skin Like a warm knife through butter Help guide the fatal hand for if your lover misses it hurts far worse
This is for all those that love and end up short...a word of advice is to never give up...how hopeless things might get..they will get better..but only with time...paceints is a vertue...and i am currently practicing it...much love to the one that has stolen my heart..keep stealing...till you have all of me..for when you do..put me back together and i may stand next to you
kensi_loea · Sun Aug 28, 2005 @ 05:58am · 1 Comments |
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As you leave me on a happy note I know you will return Just know i love you with all my heart And i want you back in one peice
This is no poem of a desprate romantic But a detication of one that cares deeply for you This shows just a bit more of how much I care I'll be waiting..you can be damn sure of that
Three weeks... Is this some sort of cruel test I hope i pass cause i know you are out haveing fun And i dont want to disapoint you
I will have to resort to my second love Music.. Although there isnt a single Ryph thats romantic I love it almost as much as you
From the first half of my heart Charles
((second half comes in a PM so im planning on leaveing you lots of interesting things while you are gone, just to let you know what i have been up too ^^))
kensi_loea · Thu Jun 30, 2005 @ 06:48pm · 1 Comments |
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finding time to laugh with you is almost to easy, and yet at the same time we are serious when need be. i can leave you every night, and know when i come back to see you the next day...your face hasnt changed..you are the same you..and you are always there..best friend
we find it sometimes, when tention is high, a easy way to releave it..and afterwards we can look at eachother the same..and not feel akward. Yet..i beg for the real taste of you..imagniation only go so far..but it feels so close...best friend
we both question the situation, but i knwo we will do fine. Life has its ways of working things out..and bettween us, i have never felt something so righ. a ture embrace of hearts can only come with two soul mates..and even then they dont have to be close..distance is only a barrier..it will be borken in time..best friend
but please i tell you never to wait for me..never hold your heart on one person..but i do ask of you..wait for the day..that once our eyes meet..i expect a smile..your you will always get one from me...cause you are my best friend
((*sniffle* k..its fininsh..it still seems corny but after what you told me today i could hold it off anymore...i want you to always know, i love you..regaurdless of distance..friends can always become more or less..but best friends are something that is forever...and can only grow..i want you too know that Jess..not a day goes by that i wonder what i have missed..not a day goes by that i wonder how you are doing..or how you are feeling..not a day goes by that i havent thought of you atleast a thousand times..not one day..have you not been on my mind heart heart heart heart heart ))
kensi_loea · Sat Jun 18, 2005 @ 08:48pm · 2 Comments |
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Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was "Daddy's Day" at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone. But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. Of a dad whos never there a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. one by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there. "Where's her daddy at?!" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, She heard another father say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day." The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her Mom. and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique. "My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart" With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far You see he was a fireman and died just this past year When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, Who knows what they felt inside Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side. "I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed.. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
((only the coldest soul can read this and not cry..i hardly ever cry and i was so choked up i felt like i was gona die..leave your thoughs))
kensi_loea · Tue May 31, 2005 @ 04:12am · 0 Comments |
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the fire that burns it rages as my eyes seemed to show its dance not of hate not of love but of understanding the time i waisted my body burns...from the inside its spreads like a forest fire it ingulfs my jaw and i drop hiting the floor hard my finger still clintching the triger my body frozen...no longer firey hot.
kensi_loea · Fri Apr 29, 2005 @ 02:58am · 1 Comments |
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this is a detication if you may...i oh someone a huge thank you...well more then one person
Abby- i know me and you havent had much time to spend, ands surely its been my fault on more then one occation but im surely trying hard and i hope you understand....happy birth-day...im kinda late with that
Chi- i have had tons of fun, and surely we will have much more time for fun, one of the best role players i have ever had the chance to RP with and im surely on the hunt for more excitement ^^
Monica- What the hell happened to you? its been weeks and you dont return my ******** that... xp lol just kidding...PM me goddamnit!!! scream
((more to come....losers whee ))
kensi_loea · Mon Apr 18, 2005 @ 03:24am · 1 Comments |
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he rises sweating his heart pounding his eyes wide and white his breathing deep and harsh he swallows and looks around him and sighs softly laying back down but...he pauses... and looks next to him the space empty.. the one he held..gone? ...lost in his dreams...
((lol if you dont get it...pm me ill explain >< wink )
kensi_loea · Thu Apr 14, 2005 @ 04:57am · 1 Comments |
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Day one.... i find myself siting on the couch watching TV the phone rings and i pick it up its some girl...i know not her name and never seen her face ...but her voice..grasps me...
Day two... i have a date.. with the girl i have never seen.. i show at her house... and im invited in... she is lovely..long silk blonde hair... dule green eyes...normal
Day three... i find myself waking in her house...the morning after on the couch..torn.. i look around and find not the one i had spent the night with.. and instantly..i miss her.. i leave my note of leaveing and thanks..and i head home..
Day four... i have yet another date... with the same normal girl i find myself yet again on her door step awaiting her calm soothing voice to trance me into something of unknow pleasure and like a moth to the flame...im draw inside with ease
Day five... i wake next to her unknowing of what happened the night before... her body over laped mine in a laying embrace and she sleeping peacefuly i fight to remember...what i lost the night before..if i had lost anything
Day five... why am i still here...at this house..? why are her parents never to be seen? she comes to me with eyes of such promise and my body falls under her spell...
Day six... i wake this time to nothing but pain... my wrists nailed to the floor and i lay...helpless... as she stood over me..laughing... Why does she laugh..?
Day seven... i feel faint...my eyes heavy with death pounding on the inside of my head.. why me?..
Then i wake form this horrid dream sweating and panting... ahh...just a dream...i look to my wrists they are scared deeply and my heart wrenched..and a small..sweet smooth voice...whispers in my ear.. 'Whats wrong...love?'
kensi_loea · Thu Apr 07, 2005 @ 02:49am · 1 Comments |
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