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EMPTY WALLS
I KEEP SAYING THIS BUT NOW I THINK I MEAN IT. I THINK I'M GOING INSANE AND IT IS BECAUSE OF THE SIGHT OF THESE FOUR ******** WALLS!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANT STAND BEING COOPED UP IN THIS ******** ROOM ANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO LEAVE BUT THERE IS NOWHERE TO GO. THIS MEANS MORE TO ME THAN JUST ANOTHER ROOM, IT'S JUST THE FACT THAT IN ALL MY LIFE THESE WALLS SEEM TO BE CLOSING IN ON ME. IT CREEPS INTO MY MIND AND PLAYS WITH MY EMOTIONS. THIS IS WHAT CAUSES EVERY NIGHTMARE IMAGINABLE TO SEEM AS A PLEASANT DREAM. THESE WALLS SEEM TO MESMERIZE ME AND ALL I CAN DO IS JUST WATCH I CONFUSION. I HATE TO LEAVE THE ROOM INTO THE REST OF THE HOUSE EVERYONE'S VOICE ANNOYS ME TO HELL, I MEAN IT I JUST CANT STAND THE VERY SOUND OF THEM. ALL I HERE FROM THEM IS ALL THIS COMPLAINING THAT LEADS NO WHERE AND THAT JUST GETS ME MAD. NORMALLY I LOOK FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND BECAUSE THAT WAS MY ESCAPE I USED TO GO TO TJ BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE IN A WHILE. THE ONLY THING THAT HAS BEEN CALMING ME DOWN IS MY ZUNE I LITERALLY HAVE PUT MY ZUNE TO FULL BLAST JUST SO THAT I DONT HEAR THERE ******** VOICES ANY MORE. THE REASON TJ CALMED ME DOWN WAS BECAUSE I GOT AWAY FROM IT ALL. I WAS ALWAYS BY MYSELF OR WITH MY COUSINS SO I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ANY BULLSHIT FROM ANYONE, THAT WAS GREAT BUT EVEN BEING THERE WAS PAINFUL TO SEE NOW THAT THOSE HOUSES ARE EMPTY. THERE IS HARDLY ANYONE THERE ANYMORE. THAT FACT IS KILLING ME INSIDE NOW WHEN I SEE THESE HOUSES ALL I SEE IS AN EMPTY SHELL OF WHAT ONCE WAS MY HAVEN MY ESCAPE FROM THE STUPIDITY OF EVERYONE'S ACTIONS. IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME ANYMORE THE PEOPLE HAVE CHANGE AND HEARTS GROW COLD BUT THE IDEAS LIVE ON, RIGHT? OR SO I THINK. I SAY THE ENTIRE CHANGE STARTED HAPPENING ABOUT A LITTLE OVER A YEAR AGO WHEN MY GRANDFATHER PAST AWAY. ON THAT DAY I GOT TO SEE THE PEOPLE THAT I LOOKED UP TO SHATTER AWAY LIKE GLASS. SO NOW I SEE EVERYTHING THROUGH BROKEN GLASS AND EMPTY WALLS. I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING
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