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Report | 05/21/2013 2:09 am

psykosia

I never cared for the band, to be honest. but I find the series amusing.

Report | 05/08/2013 4:59 am

psykosia

Why haven't you taken them? I hope you didn't take them only for a short period of time and then stop because they made you feel worse, because that's what all of them do at first.

I don't know how the system works there, but here if you disagree to take the meds they prescribe for you, they can cut support money completely for not being easy to work with. happened to me once, long time ago exclaim

Report | 05/04/2013 2:38 am

psykosia

house bolton is full of spark. cat_pirate

Report | 03/27/2013 9:45 am

Kirra the Assassin

hey if you need to talk to me let me know....

Report | 03/19/2013 11:44 am

pig girl kagura

???

Report | 03/13/2013 8:10 pm

MoonXena

emotion_kirakira heart emotion_kirakira heart

Report | 03/13/2013 10:40 am

MoonXena

4laugh 4laugh 4laugh 4laugh 4laugh 4laugh 4laugh

Report | 03/09/2013 6:15 pm

MoonXena

~ hugs hugs and cuddle~ <3

Report | 02/21/2013 1:50 pm

psykosia

how is your life out of control? just curious. I'm on antidepressants and antipsychotics as well. I hate whenever you start a new medicine, because first weeks are hellish.

Report | 02/21/2013 12:36 pm

psykosia

what kind of drugs?

Report | 02/14/2013 6:49 am

psykosia

It seems to be the general attitude in here among men, though. I mean of course not all think like that, but it's rare to meet a male who doesn't.
Finland has a pretty good situation with equality of genders compared to many other places but those stereotypical roles are still strong here.

The old "females are fragile little creatures, men are strong heads of the family". People deny it, and say it's changed, but they can't hide it in relationships exclaim

Report | 02/04/2013 2:05 pm

psykosia

I don't like pictures of myself, but that's because no matter how I take them, they seem unfamiliar. I don't think I look myself in any of them. They look like strangers.
I don't think there's anything wrong with loving one's self, just like I don't think it's wrong to hate one's self either. Both are irritating only if it's constantly brought up.

I think I have said it before, but I hate equal sex. I mean the typical sex between two lovers who respect each other equally and treat each other equally.
People are not equal and faking it is just bullshit. I don't mean value, but someone is always more dominant than other, even outside the bed.

I love hatesex. It doesn't happen when you love someone in the traditional way and want everything good for them.
I don't know if you understand it, but to me, the worst men are the ones who refuse to hurt you because "they love you".
I have had such men in the past, they couldn't hurt me physically, because it was wrong. When you ask them why is it wrong.

"because you're a female". It made me want to hurt them, lol.

Report | 02/01/2013 2:50 am

psykosia

You know, when you have no pictures of yourself up in here, people will pay more attention to your words. Or lack of pictures. That's the way I like to be on gaia myself, faceless, and merely text on people's screens. I'm not trying to present myself intelligently. In fact I have been quite a moron online. So it amuses me when you say I present myself intelligently. The misanthropic attitude comes naturally, lol.

I have never been with a man who enjoyed anything more than mild bondage in bed, and they always wanted to be the dominant ones. Only one of them enjoyed fighting for dominance, but others didn't even like the idea of switching. I mean I love a dominant man as much as next female, but it gets old, especially if it's constantly repeated all over again. That's the rule of almost everything in life. When you start expecting something, it gets dull.

Report | 01/31/2013 10:50 am

psykosia

I don't mind it, lol. It's always as strange to hear when someone takes interest because I don't view myself particularly interesting character.
And what else is also strange, is how often people you get along with are people you know online and are on the other side of the world.

Report | 01/29/2013 11:16 am

psykosia

I know, I don't enjoy the company of people around me. They're so predictable, as if every single one of them was following the same book of identical instructions. It's the dullest thing to hangout with people whose each reaction you know in advance before it even happens.

Report | 01/26/2013 5:14 pm

psykosia

I don't know how else to describe it.

Report | 01/22/2013 4:15 am

psykosia

I do have friends whose company I enjoy, but they have slowly faded away from my life because of their work / studies, and whenever they are free, they choose to spend the spare time with their partners. Idk, I shouldn't complain because although I crave for company, maintaining relationships and friendships is too much unwanted trouble for me right now.

Report | 01/20/2013 5:04 pm

psykosia

well, I don't wanna turn this into a pityparty but when I lived in a hospital, I lost most of my friends. when I returned back to "normal life", many of them wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
And they say people diagnosed with mental disorders / long term mental health patients don't really have to "suffer" or face any stigma anymore these days after returning back to society. cat_smile

I can't say making friends comes naturally to me, especially when there are no places like work or school in your life.
the only place I imagine where I could make friends now is therapy, but we're not allowed to meet outside the group.

weak material exclaim

Report | 01/15/2013 12:41 pm

psykosia

same, I have a tendency to avoid arguing as well. whenever there was an argument, I tried to exit the situation. if it wasn't physically possible, then at least mentally. It worked for me, but it didn't work for partners when I stopped replying or reacting to them altogether. I can't stand it when someone raises their voice at me.

I'm still friends with a couple of exes, and I heard the same from them: that I was too much for them. it was always too intense or too cold. But at least we remained as good friends. I do enjoy relationships but usually only at first, probably because you don't yet know the other person so well yet. But it often goes like this, the more I get to know them, the more I want to get rid of them. I hope to meet someone like me one day but I'm not very confident that I will meet a person who shares my ideals. It's impossible to imagine an equal being. It's as if one person is always more into the relationship, more devoted, more serious, and that's usually me.

Report | 01/15/2013 5:25 am

psykosia

that's one big thing that has separated me from others, when I like something or someone, it goes to extreme. I can't seem to find the middle ground, balance, harmony, whatever in respecting other people's wishes and following my own needs.

I have dated extroverts in the past, but it didn't work very well, for the very reason they wanted constantly go somewhere and be somewhere with people, and I can't stand it. Dating an extreme introvert isn't good, either, because they want so much time on their own.

I can enjoy a person's company if we're just together but in bigger crowds it's impossible. also in relationships, I don't appreciate it that partner wants to go on their own to places to meet people. But that's more about the lack of trust in others. I used to try work on the "issue" but it doesn't feel like an issue for me, so why change it? I have been told it's more of an obsession or about possession than actual love, but I don't agree. I have simply decided not to date altogether because I can't seem to find a person who shares my thoughts, but instead ends up in constant arguments with me, throwing around words like clingy psycho, lol.

and I hate arguing.

I believe some people are genuinely happier alone, and I'm one of those people. m_m

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