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 Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:43 pm
Who: Edward Elric & Liliana
What: catching Ed before he leaves
Where: Realm HQ
When: after Bryna comes home talking about Nii-chan after this before Ed leaves with Ronan & Setsumi
Why: Ed, Lily, best friends... does anyone reading this really need a why?There was a pop and a red furred kitsu with brown wings and white tails looking like she was gilded on all tips with gold appeared hovering in the center of the main room of kitsusagi headquarters. He was here. Bryna had said so. Talked nonstop about it actually. Talagand might have been too busy with that adorable valentine seraph companion of his to notice Edward around HQ again... but then Liliana had managed not to find Ed either when she looked, everyday after potions lessons before giving up and returning to Endless for comfort, laden with guilt. Better to lose one than both... but why her first & best friend? She did not regret... Liliana would not permit herself that... but she wondered still the knowing that had spurned her decision. Was it this -how Edward would so often disappear, not calling or sending messages that at least he was alive? Or the faint thought that perhaps she was not the only one for him... that there was another?
It did not matter right now, yet it did. If she found him -and Liliana did not intend to leave until she did- the witch suspected he would ask that which she had no answer to.
Straightening her shoulder bag and necklace, Lily winged down the hall and into the room Edward tended to use most here.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:50 pm
And he was there as she suspected. Edward was ontop of the bed, curled up with his back facing the door. His red coat and shoes tossed haphazardly on the floor.
He hadn't slept much, or well, during the past several days... and he was exhausted. He needed to get in atleast a nap before he went off with Setsumi. Wouldn't do him good to collapse on their little journey.
Wings were tucked and a paw draped over his face. Still... even when he tired to rest, thoughts and mental images of Lilianna and everything that's happened recently, still haunted his mind.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:01 pm
Her heart ached with both relief and unspeakable sadness upon seeing him there. Lily had to supress feelings that would not die at the sight. Very lightly she touched down, folding his coat and setting it carefully aside with his boots while debating with herself if she should wake him were he asleep. The only reason she had been able to sleep at all was Endless... and Ed had no such recourse.
Finally she decided, this one much easier than the last, and called his name softly. If he was awake, there would be some sign. If he was asleep, she would curl up with him and let him continue sleeping -to be there when he woke so they could speak.
Endless would understand. She hoped.
"Edward..."
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:05 pm
He wasn't unaware of her presence. Infact, if she had been facing his frount, she would have seen his golden eyes were open... staring at nothing as he listened to her move around behind him. A look of pain washing across his face. He knew who was there.
When she said his name, his body tensed... and a single ear turned in her direction. The sign that he was indeed awake... but otherwise he didn't move. He didn't want to speak... didn't even want to look at her. It was just... too much. He wanted her to leave... and yet he didn't. Confusion and desperation mixing in with the painful emotions flitting across his face.
For now, he would just listen to whatever she had to say.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:17 pm
She new he was awake before his ear turned by the way his youthful body tensed. Ed asleep was an immovable thing her words likely would not stir. Or perhaps they would. Lily really did not know. Softly she padded across the room to him, wanting to hug him but not really sure if that would help him or hurt him at this junction. Tears rimmed her green eyes but did not fall from willpower alone. "I've missed you, Edward. We've missed you..."
Her voice caught on emotion but she managed to go on. "You're not going to write her, are you? You didn't write Winry.. I'm sure you wouldn't write me... how will you keep your promise to my cousin, Edward?"
Lily blinked, a puzzled look on her crimson face. Now where had that come from? That was not anything she had been intending to say.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:23 pm
Of all the things he expect her to say.. that was not one of them. At first he was stunned.. and then just angry. How could she say something like that?
The teen bristled, standing up and turning fiery golden eyes on Lilianna, "What kind of question is that?!" he snapped. Although behind the anger, there was a great deal of hurt.
His paws clenched as he stood upon the cushiony bed, leering at Lilianna as if in betrayal. Never had she said something so... thoughtless to him before.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:47 pm
Her look shifted to abject horror and utter shame guilt and sorrow. "I... don't know, Edward. I, it... it just slipped out." oh smooth one, Liliana. Why not simply use the forbidden killing curse on him and put him out of his misery? She cast her gaze aside, a tear pulling from her eyes to hover the briefest of moments in the air before it fell, unable to face the anger in the beloved golden eyes of her best friend. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Edward. You deserve better from me. You deserve better period. Maybe I should have learned after I hurt you the night we met and you ran off into the snow.... maybe you would have been better off never to have met me. Then you wouldn't be hurting now... I wouldn't be hurting you."
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:54 pm
Edward quietly glared at Lilianna's... rather... poor attempt at an apology. His ears flattening back, and his muzzle twisted in a frown. "Now you're just being stupid" he said coldly.
Taking in a sharp breath, Edward sat himself down and let it all out in one big exhale as he tried to calm himself. He then looked back to her.
"Who are you to say what I deserve and don't deserve? I make my own choices, and you were the only one I wanted. Is that why you chose Endless over me? Because you were afraid of hurting me... or me hurting you... or what?"
It was about time that he got some answers.. and now that she'd riled him up.. he wasn't going to take any bull.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:34 pm
Yes... she was. Liliana could not deny that. What little strength had been holding her up sagged, ears falling limp to her head, as the dreaded question fell from Edwards mouth.
She could have wished... but what was the point in wishes? They did not turn back time or make hard decisions easier, nor dealing with the ravages in their wake. "No." She uttered softly, moist green eyes turning towards him still filled with love. "I don't have a good answer to give you, Edward, but that's not it. There were so many variables... I could not chose. I was afraid of hurting you, yes. Did that anyway, didn't I? Inevitable to hurt the ones I love, I suppose."
Liliana sighed heavily. "I've been trying to discover the biggest factors that may have been behind the gut feeling that made my decision. Some things come to mind more than others, but I'm not sure that makes them any more than any other. Disappearing where no one can find you is one of them. Maybe that's why I said what I did... Bryna talking gleefully about you sending her picture cards striking that cord in me though I did not see it because I was hanging onto the fact that she had seen you when I'd been looking and had not. It doesn't excuse what I said. Nothing would. Nothing does."
Soft tears now rolled from her eyes. "But that's not it either. The other reason... the thought that comes up the most when I think about it... you say I'm the only one you wanted and I don't disbelieve you. But I can't shake this feeling there's someone else... "
Her head fell to the floor with a thud. "It's stupid. I don't have answers. I wish I did Edward. I love you. I'll always love you. I can't shut it off and truthfully I don't want to no matter how hard it hurts because you're part of me." she sighed, wings spread across the floor unsure what else to say.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 9:47 pm
He wanted to be angry... furious... it would be better than having that aching void, wouldn't it? But when she turned those loving green eyes on him, he was transfixed. He could only stare back... his muscles relaxing and anger melting away to reveal the raw pain and hurt... like an open wound. What was this thing she did to him, and why?
So transfixed was he, that Edward was silent... letting her speak as he remained silent and listened. However, when Lily spoke of love, he looked away. Why did she have to say that? He longed for and yet despised those words.. because he knew.. that she couldn't love him the way he wanted. Once again.. it was just... cruel.
But.. someone else? Whatever did she mean? There was nobody else... "Winry..." the name falling from his mouth suddenly, surprising even himself. He frowned. "Is that what you were so worried about? That was... a lifetime ago. She doesn't exist here... and I've tried to move on. Hell... we never were anything, anyway... just friends, really. Just because someone says she's on her way... doesn't mean I can or will put my life and feelings on hold. I live for the moment.. not the past, that's what I decided before I told you... those words. But it doesn't matter now anyway, does it? Heh."
He swallowed hard, finding this whole thing to be very difficult, but he kept going. "You're with Endless now..." his voice threatening to break, "If he makes you happy... then... that's where you should be. I told you... I wanted you to be happy. But don't ask me to like him or be around the both of you. I don't think I could stand seeing you together.. not now. That's why I need to go... clear my mind, travel a bit."
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:33 pm
No... she could not love him as she wanted either. Unlike the elves in Trel's favorite comics, kitsu could not have two mates at once. Not that she suspected either Edward or Endless would have been the type to want to share her.
But she looked surprised as Winry's name fell from his lips. "huh? actually... I didn't get beyond the feeling..." her crimson fur darkened at her lack of thinking. This whole matter had her in so many knots that the only time she truly though straight was in potions class -when she shut all thoughts and feelings out and became as outwardly cold as her professor.
She had not even considered telling the truth about her love for him could hurt. Liliana simply could not conceive lying to him. She still loved him. Strongly. Perhaps too strongly, for she was -as he said- with Endless now. And happy. All she could do was hope...
But the teen was too attractive for his own good.
She sighed softly, in a lost sort of way and stood. It was clear she was still training by the way her body looked. Good thing too, because that was probably the only reason she could get up, stand, and pad over to Edward's side quickly before he could stop her. Her heart beat wildly at the contact as she knew it would, her tears slipping free of her hold on them. "I know... I won't ever ask you to be around him Edward. I ...couldn't ask that of you. I could be happier... but I am happy. As much as I can be, I think. I wish I could make you happy... I wish..." if wishes were horses peasants would ride Liliana wept bitterly. "please write Bryna. Or call the house. Just so we know you're alive. They adopted you into their hearts, you know. Go. Clear your mind. But know our thoughts are with you. " Pulling back she met his eyes, hers sad and wet from weeping, but infinitely tender too. "I'll always love you, Edward. You're my best friend, no matter what you said. You're. My. Best. Friend. No matter how many times you leave... I hope I'm still yours. You know how to find me if you need me." There was a pain in her eyes, wincing that she had used the word need when there was a need she was sure they both felt that she could not fill. "I'm sorry... I just wanted to see you..." Dropping her paws she looked away.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 10:52 pm
No... don't touch him... but it was too late. Lilianna's intentions were pure... but it still made it so much harder for him. His feelings resurfacing... it was like rubbing salt and lemon juice into his reopened wounds. It hurt... and badly. He'd never hurt quite like this before, and Ed was at a loss on how to handle it.
He wanted so badly to hold her... and kiss her, and wipe away her tears. But she wasn't his... it wasn't his place. Despite knowing better.. Envy's words rung in his ears. Nothing... you have nothing. He couldn't believe it, but it was just so easy to.
His little body shook as she spoke, head dipped and bangs obscuring the majority of his face from Lilianna's view. The tears that fell though, were unmistakable. Unable to hold them back as she also cried. There was so much he wanted to say... but he knew he shouldn't.
Still.. "Don't leave me..." he whispered, those words escaping him despite his efforts to hold them back. He needed her... but he just couldn't bear the thought of knowing she would be going home to another and falling into his arms. Unlike Endless and Lilianna.. he had no large family to console and confide in. He had Setsumi.. but it wasn't quite the same. Lilianna had Endless to comfort her... but who would comfort him?
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:05 pm
Her heart broke, shattered to pieces at his words. Crimson paws wrapped back over his shoulders. Why did everything have to be so hard? "oh Edward..." Liliana rested her head over his. "I'll never leave you. I'm always with you." she laughed softly in that way one does knowing they've said something lame and sappy that was still so true. "still I can stay a while..."
That was not what he meant and Lily knew that, but it was all she could do.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:15 pm
No... he needed to get away from her... before he did something he might regret. As much as he wanted her to stay... to be in Lilianna's embrace, he had to resist. Ed's willpower alone being what drove him to go against his own wants, needs, and desires.
He pulled away and shook his head, unable to look at Lily. "No... you should go to him" his voice unsteady as he spoke. With that.. Edward quickly vacated the room, running out the door as fast as his legs could take him. He wasn't one to run from things... but there was little choice in the matter. Edward had... he -had- to take charge of the situation, otherwise things could just get worse. They were already bad enough... still it hurt him deeply to have to do so. He needed to be strong... for his sake and Lilianna's. Still, he'd never felt so weak and lonely in his life.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 11:26 pm
Lily reeled, caught offguard. "Edward!" But he was gone.
"Dammit!" The crimson female swore for the first time in her sheltered life, a blast of unfocused magic shooting from her to thud into the wall by the door and leaving a circular hole. Not that she noticed. After a moment thought she dashed out after him. She had not followed once when he ran from her and had always felt bad for that. "Edward! Don't leave like this! Not like this! Please?"
She shouted as she ran, hoping he could hear her, wondering if she should even be doing this or even contemplating the twins' finding powder.
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