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RazorZKnight
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:32 pm
While playing Hawx (air combat simulator, if you don't know it,) with some friends and my gf.

Me: Get that tank, damn it!
Friend: "Blue leader, Fox 39."
Me: You're either kidding, or need to go play Pong.
Friend: Okay, only fox 3.
Me: Still two missiles too many.

Me: That's another missions complete. Now if some of us could stop using our jets as ammo...
Erika: Hey, it's not like the lives are limited or anything, right? (That's my girlfriend. Yeah she's got a name razz )
Me: Just try flying over the ground once in a while.

Erika: (Being chased by three enemy planes.) A little help here?
Me: Why don't you just do your usual?
Erika: Right. *Crashes, and three idiots following her crash as well.* Yay, I did it!
Me: And that's why I'm never letting you near a fighter jet, or anything that flies.

Friend: (Dodges a couple missiles) Missed me!
Me: (After a third missile blasts his jet down.) Guess they didn't.  
PostPosted: Fri Jul 31, 2009 7:43 am
Warriors Orochi still has more amusing quotes to give.

In one certain battle, you're meant to use Ginchiyo Tachibana, the tough warrior girl who can be easily confused for a guy, and one of the two bosses is Zhang He, who's a guy wearing frilly clothing and talking about his own beauty and grace. So, when the two finally meet, this is what they tell each other:

Zhang He: You're a woman, where's your sense of beauty?
Ginchiyo: You're a warrior, where's your sense of masculinity?

"Ouch." As for that Zhang guy, I think he's got the best reactions from others along all the game(s) he's been at. I'll post some more later on.  

RazorZKnight
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 5:32 am
Still more quotes from Warriors Orochi.

Fake Cao Cao: You would turn against your own father?
Cao Pi: My father would not lecture me over something so trivial.

Mitsunari Ishida: *After you kill an enemy officer.* My plan is to take all the credit while you do all the job.

Nobunaga: Hmm... Flood tactics. That's your speciality, isn't it, monkey?
Hideyoshi: I used to do that all the time, until I discovered that, once the enemy pulls the plug, your plan's a total washout.

Zhang He: Life is a beautiful thing, but death is even more so in my hands.

Cao Pi: How would you like it to work for me?
Pang Tong: I will never work for that snake Orochi!
Cao Pi: You seem to be mistaken. Now listen clearly: I said, how would you like it to work for me?

Nou: *In the mission where you have to rescue her from a castle.* Hmm... You guys seem alright, but what can you do to entertain me?

That one line brings different responses from all the male officers, and some from the female, too. The most amusing ones are from Sun Ce and Nagamasa Asai, who both say they're married.

Nou: *After killing an enemy officer.* Aww, over so soon?
Cao Pi: *Same.* Why do they even bother?
Nobunaga: *Same.* It's just that simple.
Lu Bu: *Again, same.* Can nobody provide me with a decent challenge?

-----

My girlfriend and I, talking about Lyrical Nanoha.

Erika: So, Nanoha and Fate were already giving enough hints as pre-teens, but in Strikers... They live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, adopted a girl, and, going by the manga, even take baths together.
Me: Yeah, the author isn't spelling it out for the fans, but one's got to be blinder than Toph to not see they're a couple.
Erika: I think Hayate and Rein have it worse.
Me: Huh? Why?
Erika: To use her strongest powers, Hayate has to get Rein to 'fuse' with her. That's lesbian innuendo, period.
Me: You've managed to outperv me. I'm both proud and scared.  
PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:30 pm

Family Guy:
Episode; when Peter was going to Ireland to find his "Real Father".(I think, although I'm not entirely sure if it's the right one)
Meg: Be Careful, Daddy. I love you.
Peter: That'll do Pig, That'll Do.

Home Movies[Adult Swim]:
Brendon: JesusZilla, the son of GodZilla.

Futurama:
Episode; when Bender was setting up everyone's date on Valentine's Day. Leela's Date was a Bus Driver. They met on a restaurant, and the Bus Driver's Greeting was:
Bus Driver: Nice Eyeball, Eyeball.
Leela: Nice A*s, A*s.

..That's pretty much the only thing that I could remember at the moment.
 

-Berry Pop- x3


Kngz

PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:18 pm
D-monkey WHEE!!  
PostPosted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 3:59 am
Latest Bleach manga issue.

Ichigo tells to Yami (the Cero Espada) "You've grown up quite a bit since last time I saw you. Almost wouldn't recognize you."

It's just an insane thing to say, even if it's true, and to say it with his trademark "who cares if I'm standing in front of Cthulhu" face.

Also, one line from Lyrical Nanoha I've always thought of as awesome, said by Nanoha herself to her not-really-evil enemies.

"Call me a devil if you must. That just means I will use my demonic powers to get you to listen to me."

Also when Nanoha, beaten up and almost out of energy, sees the only way out of a fight is to shoot through a barrier set up by the enemy. But to do that, she has to use her strongest attack, and her sentient weapon, Raising Heart, is quite beaten up as well.

Raising Heart: Begin countdown: 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 3... 3..."
Nanoha: Raising Heart?
Raising Heart: It's okay, I can be shot.

Much later in the show, Vita, the resident BadAssLolita girl, is trying to stop a big-a** ship's engine (The Craddle,) but in her way there, she was stabbed through the stomach and is losing more blood than the average Mortal Kombat character loses per fight. To add up to the whole thing, she's facing a security system gone crazy and there's a hundred or so turrets about to fire their lasers at her. Her one-liner about such a dire, hopeless situation?

"Bring it on."

Priceless.  

RazorZKnight
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 2:03 pm

LOL ok um. So this is from the movie called Step Brothers.

Brennan: *Starts Singing "Something to talk about"*
Dale: You gotta know, I'm not just some guy. Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. Brennan, I can't even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
Dale: This is gonna sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.
Brennan: I felt like I was hovering above my own body watching myself sing.

That part was so ******** hilarious XD
 
PostPosted: Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:24 am
These are all from Touhou Soccer 2. An awesome football game, what the FIFA ones could be if they stopped with that whole "realistic" bullshit. Being able to beat Brazil with Greece by 13-0 is realistic? Wow.

From the ending scene of the main scenario:

Coach: Congratulations, you beat him (up) and won the cup!

Considering that most of the shots in that game would send Goku running away in fear, the line quite fits. Also, the main character (and everyone else) does actually beat the main rival player up.

-----

During the Travel Mode tournament, at one point you start facing "past and present" teams. First one is Alice Margatroid (Windows version) and Alice Margatroid (PC-98 version) The 'old' version is a little girl, while the new version's a teenager. Your team captain's question to the Windows version Alice?

"So are you like twins, or something? Or is she your daughter?"

rofl

-----

Part of the description of one of the average goalkeepers in the game, "China" Meiling: "A youkai whose presence makes no difference."

No love for average players.

-----

"Oh! It's a badly named combination, but it sure is effective!"

The commentator, on Mima and Yuuka's "Sunflower Attack" one-two pass.

-----

VIVIT (yes, her name's written in caps,) is the "main boss" of travel mode. She's a self-proclaimed defender of justice. Apparently, she heard some evildoers were playing football, so she gathered a team to fight them (she has enough firepower to blow up a city, yet since the game's about football... Yeah.) She (not quite) mistakenly assumes your team is the group of evildoers (depending on which players you choose/buy, though, that is actually accurate.) And before the first match, a conversation happens between your team's players and her.

Mai: But we're not evil!
VIVIT: That's exactly what an evildoer would say.

Can't say she's wrong...

-----

Yukari is a goddess of barriers. She's damn strong in the danmaku games, and she's quite good in the football version too. So good, people start calling her the SGGK (Super Great GoalKeeper) after the first match she shows up in. However, due to her leaving after the first half, and your team beating hers, the main character calls her Supper Goof-off GoalKeeper as a joke.

Several games later, you face her again, and she's back for revenge:

Yukari: I'll take my revenge on you, Reimu. Everyone's calling me a Super Goof-off GoalKeeper now.
Eirin: Actually, they're calling you Super Great GoalKeeper, which is what "SGGK" stands for.
Yukari: .... Really?

Silly keeper.  

RazorZKnight
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 6:00 pm
Yamamoto: You imbeciles! You lost your captain haori? (...) Just what do you think your captain haori are, anyway?
Kenpachi: A pain in the a**.
Byakuya: Cheap.
Shunsui: >_< Fashionable?

From Bleach, if you couldn't tell.

---

"These are such wonderful, huge, bouncy... Pigtails!" - The player's avatar, about Komachi, in Touhou Pocket Wars EVO.

---

"Eighty against one. You're just like dust bunnies." - Ayana from Hayate X Blade.

---

Lou: Thank you for the information, underlings.
Vol Brothers: Stop calling us that!
Lou: My apologies, lowly workers.
Vol Brothers: That's the same thing!

Phantasy Star Universe... It has its moments.

---

From Dead Rising 2:

Chuck: *As a zombie bride gnaws on the crazy guy who had captured and was making a fake marriage just so he wouldn't die a virgin.* You may now kiss the bride.

Rival: *As his bike's set aflame, he walks to you still trying to look macho.* You will never defeat me, Chuck! I'm number one! *Dies.*
Chuck: Yeah, you're on fire. *Leaves.*

---

From Touhou PCB:

Lyrica: You'll be our dinner.
Sakuya: I don't think I qualify for that.
Merlin: Dog meat! Dog meat!
Sakuya: *Angry* Human meat!

From Touhou Imperishable Night:

Suika: Ah, firefly catching is so much fun!
Reimu: You're supposed to catch them, not squash them.
(They were talking about Wriggle, who's a sort-of firefly, and who they had quite flattened moments earlier.)  
PostPosted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 6:04 pm
tekken six
Lars: oh great a bear. can you talk?
bear: *grrrr* *of course i can talk*

DBZ abriged
nappa: i have fun today. i sunk their battleship...and whales.

devil may cry (forgot which one)
demon: i thought that you'd have more meat.
dante: i thought that you'd be smaller.  

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RazorZKnight
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:19 pm
(Warning: Damn long post.)

More Touhou.

From Embodiment of Scarlet Devil:

Marisa- "Whoa, so many books. I'll just borrow some later."
Patchouli- "Don't take any books, please."
Marisa- "I'm gonna take 'em."
Patchouli- "Let's see, 'How to passively defeat the person in black in front of you ...'"
Marisa- "(That actually written in there?)"

Flandre- "I've been in the basement. For about 495 years."
Marisa- "That's sweet, I only get weekends off."

---

From Perfect Cherry Blossom:

Reimu- "By the way, I hear that Mayohiga's items give you good fortune if you take them home..."
Chen- "Yeah, that's true."
Reimu- "Then let the plundering begin!"
Chen- "Uh... what? This is our home. Get out of here now!"
Reimu- "So what happened to "You can't leave once you wander in"?"

Youmu- "Are you even listening to me? I'm going to cut you down here, and you'll meet your end."
Reimu- "If I die in the land of the dead, would I be sent to the land of the dead again?"
Youmu- "I'll send you to hell!"

Chen- "Wanderer, to have arrived at this place, you must surely have lost your way?"
Marisa- "I never had a way."

Alice- "Why don't you worry about yourself if you have time to worry about others?"
Sakuya- "Oh yes, I'm worried about myself now."
Alice- "So, for what reason do you worry? About yourself."
Sakuya- "Because I'm carrying only three changes of clothes. For myself."
Alice- "Ah, good reason."
Sakuya- "That, and a spare set of knives too."
Alice- "Ah, I... KNIVES?"

---

Imperishable Night:

Marisa- "So, these are full-moon-beams... I can't see them, but I can feel them."
Alice- "Ordinary people would go insane in less than five seconds. Are you okay, Marisa?"
Marisa- "Yeah, I'm insane to begin with."

---

Phantasmagoria of Flower View

Sakuya- "But you have not a single clue on the culprit or cause, right? It's pointless to just wander around like that."
Marisa- "And why are you doing the same?"
Sakuya- "Because I can't find a lead on the culprit or cause."

(Way to kill your own point, Sakuya...)

Sikieiki- "If I was the one in charge of judging you, ripping out your tongue would be your sentence."
Marisa- "Is that it? Maybe I should've prepared a spare tongue?"
Sikieiki- "Your second tongue will also be ripped out."

Sakuya- "Tomorrow's dish is fried chicken."
Mystia- "Tonight's dish is a human maid!"

Cirno- "You're so loud in the morning."
Lyrica- "But I haven't even started my performance yet."
Cirno- "You're loud enough just by being here, and now you're saying you'll perform?!"

---

From Mountain of Faith:

Hina- "I was just trying to be nice and chase you away..."
Reimu- "Chasing me away really isn't that nice."

Sanae- "This is the Moriya shrine, A long-forgotten shrine of the past. It was moved into Gensokyo together with the lake you see here."
Reimu- "You moved the shrine and the whole lake? That's pretty flashy."

---

From Subterranean Animism:

Marisa- "Whew... This is so hot. So hot I could die!"
Alice - "(Are the dolls okay?)"
Marisa- "Yeah, but it's so hot I wouldn't be surprised if they burned up."
Alice- "(I think the dolls themselves will be fine, but it would be bad if the gunpowder inside caught fire.)"
Marisa- "Why the hell did you stuff gunpowder in 'em?!"

---

Yeah, so there's a lot of funnies in Touhou.  
PostPosted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:37 pm
A few from my fics (I kinda write good crap, I promise.) Hopefully not knowing the characters doesn't ruin the quotes. >_>

Also: They're not in chronological order. Too tired to do that right now.

(Yes, double post, but I didn't think the post size limit would handle this...)

---

Cyber Moon:

Sun: Hi there, catgirl
Hyena: (whose suit makes her look like, well, a hyena,) "Catgirl"?
Sun: Why, would you rather have me call you "Bitchgirl"?

Sin: (To Queen Serenity.) I'm sorry to disappoint you, I'm sorry I'm not filling your
usual evil being form correctly.

Saturn: (After Moon stops her from killing Uranus and Neptune.) Thanks for stopping me, but it wasn't needed.
Moon: Why, you weren't really going to kill them?
Saturn: I was, but I would have revived them right afterwards.
Moon: (Freezes for a second.) Hotaru, don't joke about that!
Saturn: (Walking away, in a cold tone.) Wasn't joking.

Cygale: (After an 'attack' by ChibiMoon has no effect other than marking a pink heart around him.) If that was your attack, it didn't hurt.
ChibiMoon: That's not an attack, that's a beacon.
Cygale: A beacon for... (Looks up as everything around him goes dark,) ... What? Oh, that. (Gets crushed by a bus-sized pink heart.)

Luna: But these enemies are videogame characters. How hard can they be?
Shingo: You don't play videogames, do you?

Brad: (the group goes to the beach, but it's empty.) Aww, I wanted to see some cute girls in swimsuits. (Notices most of the many females in the group glaring at him.) No, wait, I didn't mean...
*Five minutes later.*
Ami: Maybe we were too harsh with him.
Minako: Don't worry, we only buried him up to his knees.
Terry: Yeah, I can see that.
*Brad's feet can be seen raising up from a small sand mount.*

Thief: Oh damn, it's the psycho b***h!
Nova: That's Miss Psycho b***h for you. *Zaps thief out cold.*

Game Master: What happens to a Senshi when hit by lightning? (Sends a wave of lightning at Nemesis.)
Nemesis: (Unaffected by the attack.) They get pissed off. (Knocks Game Master out.)

Nova: You don't look so tough.
Game Master: Did you know Dragon Ball Z has a game?
Nova: (Realizes what he means a split second before she's hit by a Kamehame-ha dead on.)
Game Master: (Walks away as Nova falls off the building.) Sidekicks. Always thinking they can beat the villain.

ChibiMoon: Die already! (Stabs Rex through from behind.)
Rex: If you were aiming for my heart, you missed it completely. (Blasts ChibiMoon away.)

Death scenes can be awesome too. Example:
Moon: But what if I can't defeat her?
Mars: Then I guess... I will be waiting to slap you in the afterlife... Trust yourself, Usagi.

Black Lady: (After Moon reaches her strongest form so far.) This changes nothing, I will still kill you! (Attacks Moon.)
Moon: (Blocks the punch with one hand.) No, you won't. This is the end of the road for you.

Mercury: (Recovers from being knocked out after a fight) What did I miss?
Dragon Mercury: Consciousness.

Moon: Moon Tiara Blast!
Moon's clone: (Braces for an attack that never comes.) Hey, what...
Moon: (From behind her clone, right after stabbing her through.) I never had an attack like that, moron.

Saturn: You sure you can defeat me?
ChibiMoon: Sure, you stab like a girl.
Saturn: (Deadpan.) I am one.

Mako: You guys have weapons and I don't. Doesn't seem fair to me.
Gang member: Ah, missy, of course we'll make it fair for ya. Grab whatever weapon ya want.
Mako: (Walks to a stop sign, rips it off the ground and wields it like a staff.) There, much better.
Gang member: ... Uhm.
Mako: Well, you wanted a fight, didn't you? I'm ready.

Mercury: (While beating the crap out of a large group of enemies on her own, almost effortlessly.) One interesting fact about this new transformation is, I don't get tired as quick as when I reached the last one. (Demonstrates her point by ensnaring all her enemies with icy threads.)

Minako: Wait, so... Hotaru's pregnant?
Hotaru: Yes.
Minako: (Thinks about it for a few seconds.) I know this may sound crazy, but is ChibiUsa* the... Father?
Serenity: That's right.
Minako: That's it, I'm done trying to understand magic.
ChibiUsa: Took you long enough, I stopped that centuries ago.

ChibiMoon: (In shock as she looks up at the city-sized spaceships exploding.) You killed millions of aliens just for fun?
Black Lady**: Not just for fun. They were on my way.

Dragon Venus: Yeah, Venus got a sword in that last fight.
Venus: (Summons her chain sword.) See?
Dragon Mercury: Wow, nice sword!
Mercury: Terry...
Dragon Earth: A sword, huh?
Moon: What's with guys and swords, anyways?
Dragon Earth: I'll explain it to you later.
Saturn: Careful with that, Chibi here's not supposed to be born for a good nine hundred years more.
ChibiMoon: Hotaru, don't be a pest.

* At this point in time, they were all a thousand years old, or more... Still the nickname stuck to her.
** Black Lady becomes a separate being at one point of the story, and stays that way.  

RazorZKnight
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