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 Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 3:04 am
Post funny quotes you've heard/said/read.
"If it moves, shoot at it. If it doesn't, shoot at it" - From the Doom handbook (only those who ever played the original game could've seen this quote.)
"Thou cannot kill that which is already dead. But thou can blow it up to little chunks of meat." - From the Quake handbook, about the zombies you'll find in several maps.
"There's 10 kinds of people: Those who understand binary code, and those who don't." - Unknown.
"Stop blocking my punches with your face!" - Zangief, Street Fighter Alpha 2.
"Even my dad could beat you. And he's dead." - Dan, SFA 2.
---
From the Sailor Moon SS movie:
Michiru: "Staying a kid forever? But there's so many fun stuff to do as adults... Right Haruka?"
Haruka: *Blushes, coughs and looks away.*
---
Me and my girlfriend, during an UT 2004 LAN party.
"Sorry, I was aiming for the other team's idiot." - CTF, rocketed down the team's liability.
"Your soul's just been redeemed." - After shooting a redeemer straight at someone's head.
"You call it going solo. I call it giving free ammo to the other team." - CTF, arguing about how effective solo runs into the enemy base usually were.
"Pinata!" - My girlfriend after tele-fragging the rival team's flag carrier.
"How are we going to take that thing down?"
"You go look for the Redeemer. I'll keep it busy."
*Blasted dead.*
"Then again, screw that. I'm meleeing that b***h."
- GF and me, trying to take down a Leviathan.
"Yep, this model comes with a neat surprise." - Me, after someone fragged me and my model (character) Calamity self-destroyed, taking him down as well.
---
"If you can't beat them, Zergling rush them." - Starcraft's multiplayer #1 rule.
"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted. Man who runs in front of car gets tired." - Confucius. (fake)
"Wait, he says. Do I look like a waiter?" - Kefka, Final Fantasy 6.
"He's evil. Monkeys don't talk."
"Huh? Hey wait, that's true-mojo!" - Blossom and Mojo, Powerpuff Girls Z.
"What's with the damn skirt? I haven't worn any skirts since kinder!" - Buttercup after her first transformation, PPG Z.
"Aww... Does Mr. Monkey want to play?" - Bubbles, after accidentally spoiling Mojo's fifth attempt at destroying her.
"About time they gave us a giant robot. All cartoon heroes have one." - Blossom, making fun of sentai series in the episode where the Robo-PPG is introduced (same big, bad, metallic robo-Blossom than in the US version.) Again, from PPG Z
"When I told you to screw yourself, I didn't mean for you to take it literally." - Schwarzenegger, in the only good line in the whole "The Sixth Day" movie. (Villain fell over his own clone, in a quite funny pose.)
"If you were any slower, you would be running backwards." - Sonic
"Holy jumping Jesus on a flaming pogo stick!" - Me.
"I wonder what she really means by 'in your face.'"
"I hope it's what you're thinking." - Me and my girlfriend, about Mew Mew Ichigo's battle phrase.
"She's like last year's pudding. Old, rancid, and tasted by everyone." - My gf, about one of her so-called friends.
"Frag THIS!" - Me, before blasting myself out in any FPS (nothing pisses idiots more than suicides.)
"Now I know what Usagi meant by 'move, you stupid thing!'" - Me, after playing a few rounds of the Sailor V game.
At the arcades, we (me and girlfriend) were playing an old SF2 game, Blanka vs Blanka, and kept on getting Double KOs by doing the roll attack at the same time. Someone walked by and noticed the round number. "What round is %#?" he asked, so I answered, "higher than 100, lower than 'let's stop messing with the poor game and fight for real.'"
"Samus, transform and roll out!" - Samus Aran, Metroid 3rd Derivative (webcomic)
"Your GP or your EXP!" - Thief, 8 Bits (webcomic)
"Maybe it's an unicorn disguised as a dragon!" - Fighter, on the impossibility of dragons existing.
Townsfolk: Hail!
Townsfolk: Hail!
Townsfolk: Hail!
Yet another Townsfolk: Hail!
Warlock: HAIL! *Deep-freezes the whole town.* - Looking For Group (webcomic.)
Tauren: This is, indeed, a beautiful forest.
Warlock: (Hands in flames.) Let me fix that.
Tauren: No.
Warlock: I was just going to look.
Warlock: With fire. And Lightning.
Warlock: And undead chipmunks. On fire. - Another one from Looking For Group.
Warlock: For pony!
Elf: Warlock, that's not a battlecry.
Warlock: Why not?
Elf: Because your battlecries have to be about something worth fighting for, worth giving your life for.
Warlock:...
Elf: Nevermind.
Warlock: For pony! - LFG again.
Elf: We'll help the villagers. As long as the pay is good.
Orc: *To Warlock.* Shouldn't you be crying in joy by now?
Warlock: I'm an undead. I don't have tearducts. - LFG
Me: I'm just wondering how Ami got 111,000 points in that Sailor V game.
Friend: Maybe she hacked into it with her computer?
Me: ... Damn sneaky Senshi.
"If violence doesn't solve all your problems, you're not using enough." - Largo, Bubblegum Crisis.
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Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:51 pm
I'd would love to take you out on friday night, I think we need a break" -Ask a ninja question 51
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 2:09 pm
"Get your fat a** back here" -Family Guy 
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 5:21 pm
A few quotes from assorted Senshi, in my Cyber Moon giga-fic.
"Showing off is the best way of showing how" - Dragon Mercury.
"You know us Senshi, takes a lot more than killing us to kill us." - Dragon Mercury, again.
"Sure, I'll listen to you. And to the dancing flower blossoms whenever they decide to show up, as well." - Minako, while Artemis was trying to explain her about her mission.
"Fear the mighty Qwertyasdgale!"
"Qwewhat?"
"If there's anything to fear, it's his stupid name." - The Senshi, while facing one of the (rather insane) mutant insects that tend to show up more often than they should.
"What are you, some uber cheerleader?" - Nova (OC) to Jupiter.
-----
"So it's bad that Megatron wasn't a gun, but it's okay to have those gun-to-vehicle Optimus Prime shotguns?"
"Bet all the Transformers movie bashers have one of those."
Me and my gf, on the stupid toys the Transformers movie spawned.
-----
"Actually, I fear what a Sailor Moon MMORPG would be like. Imagine a thousand Sailor Galaxias running around, PKing new players, and generally being assholes to anyone just because 'lolz I r Galaxia and I rule.'"
"You just described WoW: Sailor Moon edition, man."
Me and a friend, about how 'cool' a Sailor Moon MMORPG would be (IMO, the game could rock, but the community, as usual, would reek.)
-----
"There's something wrong with a game where Sailor ChibiMoon can 1-hit the final boss with her bare fists."
"Or something completely right."
My gf and me, about the Sailor Moon: Another Story game for SNES (I had the patience to get all the Senshi to level 100. As in all RPGs, maxing out your characters is beyond overkill.)
-----
"Well, if there's anything to salvage off this movie, is how The Rock follows the one basic rule no other zombie movie heroes ever followed."
Me, about Doom, on how The Rock started shooting corpses in the head. It's like stomping on zombie eggs, really.
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 1:27 am
i can think of alot, if i was in the mood. but those were great! ^_^
"keep them at sword's length!" just as gerard yelled, the slivers' arms doubled in length. "wait, bring out the polearms!" - a magic the gathering card flavore text.
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Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 5:50 am
My girlfriend on rival team (in FPSs)
- There's two kinds of red players. Dead, or about to die.
- If I see the "your flag has been taken" once again, I'm going to start flakking blues.
GF: The Leviathan needs more turrets. And some lasers. And a flamethrower. And speed.
Friend: Are you kidding? This thing's got too much firepower as is.
Me: There's no such thing as "too much firepower," n00b. But she just described the BaneBlade from Dawn Of War.
Quotes on Fifa games:
GF: You know, any game that gloats about realism and excellent AI can't have Japan beat England, Germany and Brazil. Just can't.
Me: I just won 28-0
GF: What were you playing against, FC Useless?
Me: Arsenal. With Seoul FC.
GF: I now know what FIFA stands for in these games. ******** Impossibly Flawed AI.
About Snakes on a plane:
GF: (sarcastic tone) Awesome movie. I'm now going to wait for Tarantulas on a Plane, Roaches on a Plane, Rats on a Plane, and, of course, the blockbuster Ants in my Pants on a Plane.
(And I agree, that movie was a lot of suck with suck on top, soaked in suck sauce and with a siding of suck.)
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:45 am
After I told her about what Death Note was really like, my girlfriend had some wonderful insight.
GF: So... Raito goes and names himself "Killer." Because he kills people. He sounds like the Tuxedo Kamen loser right there. "I've got a Tuxedo and a mask! I know, I'll call myself Tuxedo Mask!"
Me: Actually, Raito takes on the name he's called by on the internet.
GF: So, he uses a name some hobo on the net made up for him... And he's smart because?
Me: At least he wasn't calling himself "GuyThatMurdersDudes1984."
GF: And do they ever find out L's true name?
Me: Dunno. For all I know, his name was L.
GF: It would've been a wonderful trap. Raito would be all "I won't just write L on the note because it just won't work!"
Me: Yeah, using reverse psychology on reverse psychology would win in such a scenario.
GF: It's a funny war, too. Sounds like a homicidal psycho know-it-all against a control freak psycho know-it-all.
Me: And the butler wins the war. (Note: I hope THAT isn't a spoiler. It's not even a clear enough clue. razz )
---
GF: Why is it called NFS: Carbon* anyway?
Me: I think it's what the rival cars run on.
GF: That would explain their low speed.
* Carbon in Spanish is "coal."
---
Me: Yep, I've finally reached the three thousand YGO cards now. Most of them pirate.
GF: ... Do you really need that many?
Me: You're asking that to the guy who's got over 300 PC CDs, 200 PS1 CDs, a thousand or so GBA roms, all the NES roms that exist, the Sailor Moon anime pirated full collection...
GF: Good point.
Me: Other see piracy as a tool. I see it as a goal on itself.
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Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:59 am
And some more... With a game-holic and anime-holic girlfriend, the fun doesn't ever stop.
GF: Who do you think would win in a fight between Sailor Moon and Haruhi?
Me: Haruhi.
GF: *Puts hand on forehead.* Hmm... No fever. Was it something you ate?
Me: Haha, funny. I may be a rabid Sailor Moon fanboi, but I do know her limits.
------
About Need For Speed Pro Street (aka "NFS's Downfall")
GF: So, when did Need For Speed become Need For Safe, Boring Driving?
Me: They say Carbon met Porsche Unleashed, one thing led to another, and well, there you go... But Unleashed won't admit being its father.
GF: Who would?
------
From the mighty 8-Bits Theater:
Black Mage: Have you ever wondered why you don't see invisible flying castles anywhere?
Fighter: *Thinks about it for minutes.* Because they're rare!
Black Mage: ....
Thief: He's right, you know?
Black Mage: But he shouldn't be!
------
From Ctrl-Alt-Del:
Ethan, the main character, comes back home furious at Zeke (his robot,) who was supposed to call to work and make up an excuse for him to get out of there early.
Ethan: What the ********, dude? Where was your phone call? I had to go through the whole damn work day!
Zeke: Sorry, I forgot.
Ethan: How can you forget? You're a computer!
Zeke: Putting files in the recycle bin counts as forgetting.
------
GF: (After beating Dungeon Siege's single player map with me for the hundredth time.) We need a new multiplayer RPG.
Me: No we don't. We just need more mods for this one.
GF: (Sighs.) Yeah that may work, too.
Why buy/pir8 a new game when your games are all built to be modified?
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Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:21 pm
lol i read all of them lmao
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 5:27 pm
Heh... Been a while since I added to this. Ookay...
From playing Goal 3 with my girlfriend (You don't know that game? Look it up. It may also show up as Kunio Kun's Nekketsu Soccer League. Most screwed up and funny soccer game ever.) It's old, but it's too good to not play it once in a while.
Me: Banana Shot!
GF: *As the rival Goalkeeper blocks the shot, she runs in with our team's Goalkeeper and smashes him into the goal with an overhead kick.* I think he slipped on the peel.
Me: ... Whatever.
(Yep, the game's SDed, shots are insane and there's no fouls. Who needs realistic engine when you can turn the ball into a banana?)
Me: *Run to the Argentina keeper with the ball, tackle the keeper and stand there waiting.*
GF: What the... Move or he's going to kick your a**.
Me: *Goalkeeper tries to uppercut my character, but instead gets knocked away.* You should already know why I pick this character. *Shoot and scores.*
GF: *Staring at the Piranha Shot from Brazil.* Pwetty Fish!
Me: ... *After her GK catches the ball.* Pretty useless.
GF: *After her keeper was knocked into the goal by a heading done while the character already had grabbed the goal.* Foul!
Me: Not in this game.
GF: That's bull. That would be a foul in Mortal Kombat
Playing Gears of War (FPS with coop are my favorite.)
Me: (Playing as Fenix) Okay, now we just gotta lob a grenade to that gun turret to get past...
GF: (Playing as Marcus) But we've got no clear angle!
Me: Yes we have... *Blind-tosses grenade, which bounces on a car's roof, then on a column, and lands right by the gunner's feet.*
GF: ... Who needs aim when you've got luck, huh?
Me: Exactly.
(During one of the stages with a Berserker, monster that 1-hits you no matter if you let it tackle you.)
Me: Here, doggy doggy doggy...
GF: *Uses the distraction to destroy the Berserker with an orbital laser blast.* Hot dogs, anyone?
Me: Eww. I pass.
And more from UT2004 (Yeah, I'm not stopping playing that. And nope, we don't type all this up, just team-talk with headsets.)
GF: *After blasting an enemy up and away with a rocket.* Home run!
Me: *Dodging a series of rockets shot at me by rivals, and manage to get their flag to our base.* I guess I watch too much Captain Tsubasa. Mad dodging skills.
GF: No, you're just a lucky b***h.
Me: Yeah I wuv you too.
GF: *After flakk'ing someone around a corner.* Reflection, ever heard about it?
Me: *Meleeing a Leviathan.* Die you dumb thing!
GF: *As the Leviathan explodes.* Maybe we should reset our levels already?
Me: Aww but I like being over nine hundred thousand levels.
GF: If you say so... Wait, don't say it.
Me: We're both...
GF: I'm serious.
Me: OVER NINE HUNDRED THOUSANDS!
GF: Warned you. *Shoots redeemer at the Raz. The Raz explodes.*
Me: See, my lame sense of humor always redeems me.
GF: *Rockets The Raz dead again.* Now shut up.
Me: Aye sir.
Me: *As the red team runs into our Onslaught base as a whole.* All our base are belong to them!
GF: *Runs over one of the reds with a Hellbender.* If you stopped joking and started killing stuff...
Me: We would win too easily.
GF: Point taken.
Talking about the newly discovered planetoid, Eris, and how it would affect Sailor Moon...
Me: So there's this planet Eris... There could be a Sailor Eris around, you know.
GF: Eris is one of the Billy and Mandy characters, isn't she?
Me: Yeah... Just imagine how insane a crossover like that would be.
GF: No thanks, I want my brain unbroken.
Aaand... That's all. For now.
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:30 am
lol...it's good.. i like the forth one
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 12:00 pm
And once again reviving this.
My girlfriend about Karin, a manga I only started reading recently.
"So... The girl's a vampire who bleeds through her nose and mouth once a month. Does it mean she's having her period through there?" (I think Karin just lost the cuteness of her nosebleeds. burning_eyes )
And later on, after reading a few issues of Karin herself:
"So there's this girl that looks like Haruhi Suzumiya, her boyfriend-to-be looks like Ichigo Kurosaki, her best friend looks like Tomoyo, her brother looks like Seto Kaiba, and her sister looks like Evangeline McDowell. Damn it, I'm so going to like this one..."
Truth be told, Anju's my favorite character (no surprise) besides her goth loli looks, she's got the best personality of the whole cast.
----------
While playing Left 4 Dead...
Me: A witch!
GF: Don't...
Me: But...
GF: I know you. Don't do it.
Me: *Tosses molotov at the witch, then snipes her dead before she reaches his character.* Oops, that bottle slipped off my hands.
GF: Yeah right.
GF: Bill just died.
Me: Uh? I didn't notice.
GF: I did, but only because I wasn't feeling the bullets in my back anymore.
GF: A tank, a boomer, a smoker, a hunter and a witch in the same room.
Me: Looks like fun.
GF: Looks like we're going to need a medikit soon.
Me: That too.
GF: Why is it that whenever one of us gets mauled down by a hunter or a tank, sliced to shred by a witch, or dragged off by a smoker, the AI players seem to be always off killing other things and not care about us?
Me: That's Valve's brand-new AssholeAI bot engine.
GF: You're joking, right?
Me: I'm not too sure I am.
----------
Girlfriend, about Dead Space.
"The game's sort of fun at first... Until you get to the part with the rapist tentacle faetus monsters. That's wrong in so many levels, it would cap the levels of an RPG."
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"It's cute that they finally realized human beings don't have 347 fingers." - Me about the last Fifa Football game's very improved and simplified controls.
"Good reviews don't make you write, good writers make you review" - me, while discussing on wether or not good reviews were attracted by good readers.
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Talking about Street Fighter 4's 'rerun' feeling....
GF: So, when's Street Fighter Just Turned Into Fifa Soccer going to come out?
Me: ... Nobody complained about that to the SNK losers, you know?
GF: Because in KOF, that wasn't as noticeable as the shitty controls, the shitty plot, the shitty bosses and the shitty AI. So with SF, it's the only thing we can complain about.
Me: Good point.
----------
And first day I played Fallout 3
GF: *Staring at the gore displayed during VATS mode combat.* Damn it, that's borderline too much gore.
Me: 'Too much gore' and videogames is like a redundancy nowadays.
GF: But, really, what's so cool about it?
Me: *Shoots a nuke at someone's head, the explosion going slo-mo.* That.
GF: Hey, I want to play too.
Me: Figures.
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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 4:54 pm
Lately, I've been playing the Musou sagas. A little too much.
What are the Musou sagas? They're known in the western side of the world as "Warriors" sagas. First one's the Romance of Three Kingdoms era (which spawned dozens of games thus far, since the late 80's.) The latest evolution of that saga is known as Dynasty Warriors and is one excellent strategy/RPG/action hybrid, where you control one character, fighting along with an army, against armies of enemies in maps with given goals (conquer this, kill this guy, flood the battlefield and so on.) Then came Samurai Warriors (built with the Warring States era of Japan as base,) and lastly, Warriors Orochi, which fuses both universes into an AU full of crack-tastic fun.
Okay, I bored you enough with that. However, the QUOTES in those games are just too much sometimes.
Masamune Date: Are you stupid enough to fight me?
Shingen Takeda: *after the enemy activates a "falling boulders" trap.* Rocks, when thrown from a high place, have an unfortunate tendency to hurt. We better stop them.
Kotaro Fuuma: Your journey ends here, old man.
Shingen: Ninja, please...
Marauder: Sorry pal, this is how we make our living.
Shingen: No, this is how you do your dying. Hahaha! Was that smart or what?
Shingen: *When slain.* Just... Pretend I'm saying something... Profound.
Shingen: Oh, and what battle would be complete without a cute little ninja?
Kotaro: You make *me* look sane, my friend.
Magoichi Saika's a womanizer who makes a pass at any female 'Samurai' in the area. Ranmaru Mori is a guy who wears a short fukata, has skin like porcelain and an actually TOO girly face.
Magoichi: Whoa, there's some pretty girls in this battlefield.
Ranmaru: Who are you calling a girl?
Magoichi: Ugh, I must be losing my touch.
Nene: *Each time she defeats a hundred soldiers.* Did I do that all by myself?
Sakon Shima: Keep lining'em up, and I'll keep knocking'em down.
Shingen: *About Masamune's rifle ambush.* The kid's always been handy with a gun. They're dangerous things, however I'll always prefer the solid whack delivered by wood.
Kenshin Uesugi: Indeed, this battle is far more complicated than I envisioned.
Shingen: You like that, don't you?
Kenshin: I wouldn't have it any other way.
Da Ji: *After you take over her cannon fortresses.* Aww, I really liked those cannons.
Keiji Maeda: *Charging into the battlefield, as commanded by the snake-like Orochi.* Charge! For our snake-like commander guy!
Lu Bu: *Before attacking you, in any battle of Warriors Orochi.* Rejoice, you will soon leave this battlefield.
Yan Wei (barbarian) : *When you drown half the enemy's army by breaking down a damn.* Enemy... Swims... Bad.
Kanetsugu Naoue: *Goes into a boring speech on honor, justice, more honor and yet more honor.*
Masamune: If you say honor one more time, I'll rip your throat and make you eat it.
Masamune: *When slain.* Wait, I haven't conquered... Japan... Yet...
Cao Pi: Keep an eye on Da Ji, she's been behaving strangely.
Mitsunari Ishida: *When assisting Da Ji's squad.* I don't trust you, woman.
Da Ji: Relax, boy. I'm not going to do anything against you... For now.
*One mission later.*
Da Ji: Sorry boss, but I can't stay around any longer. *Joins the enemy army just as you were about to get the upper hand.*
Mitsunari: She did it after all.
Cao Pi: I'm just wondering why it took her so long.
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 5:06 pm
Kotaro Fuuma (Ninja): Come, pretty one...
Xing Cai (warrior girl): ... I was always afraid of clowns.
Ranmaru Mori: I am as dangerous as I'm manly! (It's damn fun to hear from a guy who looks, wears and generally acts like a geisha.)
Also, from 8-Bits Theater, after Black Mage tries to kill Sarda and Sarda survives (because he's a guy that's hinted to kinda control the universe.)
Black Mage: Goddamnit. Are you MADE out of Plotanium?
Some time ago, when Thief tried to backstab a "Turned To The Dark Side" Black Mage:
Black Mage: The backstabber stabbed me in the back. Oh shock and disbelief.
Thief: So my attack did nothing at all?
Black Mage: Well, it made me target you next. That's something.
Thief: ... My only regret is that I didn't hate you more.
8Bits is full of good quotes, but it's a 1000+ strips webcomic, so the quoting could be endless if I really started on it.
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Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 7:30 am
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
Those are the only ones I use....
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