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 Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:30 pm
Twisted Concepts A good Dom. It's hard to say what I really like, I know bitting is a big thing, I do enjoy the thought of being called certain things. But of course it depends on the tone and time, Sadly in real person im overly shy, Thus I have avoided many things, Making decisions for me is a good thing. I love having someone choose for me, It gives me a reason to say no and make things interesting in my eyes. It's very complicated, I know what I like but when it comes to putting it down, Well I can't really do it.
I love verbal abuse... Mostly because it's my love, and I know she doesn't really mean it. <3
Nothing really over the top to the point of degredation. More like "slut," "dirty little masochist," "naughty little crossdressing dyke," etc.
And I like giving and receiving said verbal abuse.. as long as I know the sub likes it, too. I only like doing anything to someone if I know they'll like it (unless they've been bad.. but that's different).
*has a tendency to ramble*
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 10:02 am
Charisma is a big thing for me. I want a Master or Dom to have a good, strong presence about him. Someone who can say more in subtle little gestures and eyes then in orders and yelling.
Personality-wise... I'd like easy-going and humerous. Someone who doesn't have a perpetual umbrella up their a**, and can laugh at a funny situation that might arise during bondage, or at a stupid mistake either of us had made. Yet, doesn't let me slack on discipline. I think I would react more to talking-tos and explanations of what I did wrong then in beatings. For some reason, if someone comes up and talks to me calmly about things I'm doing wrong, it makes me really upset and sad that I dissapointed them.
And a good spanker. Yeah. Definitely. ^_^
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 7:32 pm
The talk of "work" coming first shouldn't come into it. Being a Domme is a responsibility. A really, really precious one. It's not just about hurting or using another person. It's a connection that goes both ways. And a submissive gives themselves, trusting their Domme to respect the rules, and respect them. The Domme takes this, and uses the Sub, because that's what the sub wants, but also nourishes that trust- when somebody is in your care you take care of them.
To a good Domme, not even the Ideal one, a Sub is precious. So you may hurt them, call them all sorts of dirty names, humiliate them, but you take care of them too- you listen for their safe words, you watch their reactions, you make sure the ropes aren't too tight and going to do damage, when you untie them you stroke them, check their body is okay, and in an actual relationship rather than a scene, you kiss them, and hold them.
You do nothing outside the rules discussed, and you do nothing that will leave long term or permanent marks without specific permission, and you do nothing that will negatively affect their life in general- that includes work and friends.
Safe, Sane, Consensual.
Someone beating you up and stopping you from going to work is an abusive partner. Giving someone you trust power over you and permission to use you for their pleasure in such a way that's rewarding for both of you, that's BDSM.
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Posted: Tue May 27, 2008 12:48 pm
You have a way with words, dear untitledpulse. I agree with all of that. I may not have had the chance to partake in any BDSM IRL yet, but I understand that being a Dominant is a huge responsibility (I'm a switch... right down the middle). It was only after meeting my love that I realized I even like verbal abuse, because we have such a strong bond that we know neither of us really believes any of it. It's almost like a sort of roleplaying. We care a lot about each other and respect each other's boundaries.
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Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 12:02 pm
My ideal dom/me hmm. . .
here's the thing I have a very high tolerance when it comes to play. This also comes with a certain amount of push and pull how ever.
There are some sessions when it takes 40 lashes to even start me going.
Some sessions it shouldn't exceed 4 or 5.
I need a dom/me who can tell that with out a doubt. They should only be pushing me to beg them to stop out of choice, not accident cause they don't know how to read me.
I have to be able to trust them enough to surrender myself to sub-space and know that they'll be able to care for me while in and coming out of it. With out that assurance there is nothing in me that will be willing to give up that release.
and here is another distinction for me: a dom/me needs to know more then just pain. Though I associate as an Anguisette there is so much out side of a flogger, whip, or fletchettes. Just cause I am tied up does not require my dom/me to cause me pain, there are plenty of other ways that sub-space can be reached, sometimes my body needs a rest and healing time.
My dom/me needs to know me and I think that above all else is most important because that is really the only way they'll be able to do all that.
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Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:08 pm
hmm...I like a dom that is nice and kind and funny outside of role plays, but inside them, is quite demanding and controlling. someone that will push my boundries, yet respect them at the same time. razz I enjoy a little training to be taught to fulfill my dom's wishes, and punishment for small things during role play. Outside of it though, i want my dom to be pretty much normal and share my odd sense of humor and many of my interests.
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