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Socialising is very complicated. You have to behave differently in diferent situations, and with different people. But, ofcourse, there are always exceptions to the rules wink I've noticed this as I have just started uni, and I have to make new friends. Well, I want to, you know what I mean razz

My general rule on which I opperate is "Be yourself, but be friendly". It's no good trying to be something you're not. If you are an introvert, don't try and be extroverted just to make more friends, because these people won't be your friends, they will be your alter-ego's friends, and when bits of the real you are revealed, they'll probably ditch you in two seconds. Also, this feeling is uncomfortable, if you don't really like what your friends are doing.

And... you'll be called a 'try hard' - the bottom of the social ladder. It's better to be yourself and be a nerd, then try hard razz Well, for me anyway.


But don't be too rude. Having my hair called 'fluffy' makes me think the other person doesn't like me because I am ugly. So, off I move to find some less shallower people. Basically, do what you wouldn't mind being done to you. Would you want people to call you fat?

A good way to break all these rules is to make fun of things about yourself, like the social rules. Like, for instance, if you don't say "hi", you can start saying "what the hell is with saying 'hi' to people when you see them. Are they asking me to go get high on cocaine or what?".

And, it's all in the body language, baby. Most communication is not words, When someone is being sarcastic, they are saying something possitive in a negative tone. Teasing is the other way around - something negative said in a positive tone.

If you have really good like minded friends, they will probably throw these rules out the window. And, if all else fails - there is the internet, where no body language is required. But then there is typing etiquette...

I guess that's the way it works. The other person will be too busy either laughing, or thinking 'okay, that's random?' to be worried about judging your social skills razz

Haha! He sounds pretty cool. He has to be clever to do something like that. I always find laughing at the stupid things you do is the best way.

Whenever I make a mistake or fumble something (I'm pretty clumsy, sometimes... dunno why) I strike a triumphant pose and say "VICTORY!" or (in the company of gamer-geeks) "FRAWRESS VICTOLY!" Honestly, it helps to be able to laugh at myself.

I, fortunately, don't have problems socializing, generally. I'm very strange and I don't make any bones about it, but I do tone it down in certain situations.

Work has a whole other set of rules from socializing with your friends (I work as a cashier at a grocery store... people expect me to be cheerful, warm, and unfailingly friendly and polite no matter what's going on), which I tend to bend a bit. I try to talk to some of my customers (the ones I read as more open and willing to be talked to) like they're my friends or at least not like they're total strangers. I'll glace at stuff they're buying and comment on items I like... "Oh, the strawberries are so good right now!" (etcetc) or strike up a conversation about whatever it is that's going on in my life.

At work or in a formal setting, unless told to do otherwise, I call everyone "sir," "ma'am," or "miss." That may just be a southern thing, though... I'm not sure how well it applies in other areas of the US or other countries. My roommate (a man) calls all women "miss" but I find that it sounds insincere and, frankly, a bit like he's trying to suck up to them.

These sections are probably mostly applicable for women and girls:

An almost infallible icebreaker that I have found is to compliment an article of clothing or a piece of jewelry, or simply ASK about a piece of jewelry. "Is that a sapphire? Oh, wow, that's gorgeous!" So long as you can do it sincerely and don't do it to EVERYBODY (pick out one in a group that you especially like and comment on that) because it will start sounding false.

Another thing that I've found is that men, especially older men, judge people by handshake and eye contact. When I was interning with a group that had me going to the state's general assembly a few days a week for lobbying, I made sure to have a firm handshake (though not a bone-crusher), make solid eye contact, and have a nice smile on. The handshake and the eye contact will establish you as an equal or at least put you a step or two up in their estimation, and the smile will show that you're not a threat, which will make sure that they don't feel threatened. With other women, it's best to judge your handshake by theirs... if their handshake is kind of limp and weak (like a lot of women seem to have) make yours slightly tighter, but not as firm as you would with a man, less eye contact, more smile. If she actually has a decent handshake, return it in kind.