"Gussy! Gussy, you frazzled nautilus, get back here right now!"

"Get baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!"

Gus was momentarily distracted. "Shawn, there's something weird about that parrot. Remember Jennifer Lopez the angry cockatoo?"

Shawn reflected for a minute. "The one who kept making me think I was being called to the principal's office in 11th grade?"

"Yes. Now how long did it take for her to repeat anything we said?"

"We'd have to sit there for about an hour saying stuff to her. I remember she was how I publicized the Quadrilateral Appreciation Club... good times, Gussy."

"Well, it only takes this parrot, like, a second."

"Yes, but this is a highly precocious macaw. And he isn't named after a random celebrity. I think poor Jess was traumatized by being constantly upstaged by the real JLo."

"Yes, but what if this parrot has been through some inhumane experimentations like the dog in Watchers?"

"Wait... this is the petstore where he was bought... MAYBE THE MAN WAS KILLED OVER THE PARROT, AND RIGHT NOW HIS ZOMBIE IS COMING AFTER US FOR OUR SOULS! AND ALL THE BOWLERS ARE REALLY SCIENTISTS TRYING TO OVERTHROW THE TERRORISTS AND DISCOVER ATLANTIS! Honestly, Gus, you are the most paranoid waterfowl bird I have ever seen. Isn't that right, DP?" In answer, Clue bobbed his head up and down like a Dwight Schrute bobblehead.