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Horoscope for the Week of October 15-21, 2006

Libra (September 23-October 22):

Cantelopes and watermelons fill your dreams with socks and a moldy cheese pastry. Boil your fishwater in order to keep your toes bright. A chromatic worm will change your hair this week and cover you with baby oil.

Scorpio (October 23-November 22)

Challenge yourself to eat an entire couch this week--you'll feel better about those chocolate beans you covered your dog in last week. Keep a sharp towel handy to fend off invading peaches. Pumpkin streudle is good when applied to your folicles.

Sagittarius (November 23-December 22):

Flying pears will attack your bedding in the night. Be on the lookout for killer tomatoes armed with toxic applesauce and clotted cream. Dress yourself in carpet lint to increase your chances of catching a vorpal bunny in a pink velvet jumpsuit.

Capricorn (December 23-January 22):

Heaps of cherry ice cream will adorn your living room wtih a concrete spatula. Change your eyes daily. A clown named Boogles will sew your tires into a comfortable suit for your left big toe.

Aquarius (January 23-February 22):

Chain your nose to your ankles and do the hoola-hoop to help your hair earn its law degree. Meek wombats will steal your pants this week so keep a few apples stuffed in your ears for good luck.

Pisces (February 23-March 22):

A dancing meerkat will spit lima beans into your neighbors garden adn harass the local cats with a grain silo made entirely from meat. Beef jerky sandals are all the rage but be sure that the pureed peas are right for your complexion.

Aries (March 23-April 22):

Spirited pixies will mangle your socks with chewing gum and a purple water balloon. Choose your next se4t of honeyed moth balls carefully as you can accidentally cause your kidneys to explode and do bad South Park imitations of Barbara Streisand.

Taurus (April 23-May 22):

Beware of anguished carrots trying to sell you house insurance. Make sure to demand certification of their right to power potatoes through your swimming pool first. Capers and milk duds make excelelnt dance partners but skip the marinara sauce on your head this time.

Gemini (May 23-June 22):

Keep a bunch of frozen grapes in your pants for luck this week. Combing your fingers with jelly-covered cactus fronds increases the lugubrity of your speech. Channel your creative energies into a useful project like knitting a castle out of thorns or scuplting a pair of underwear from ant hairs.

Cancer (June 23-July 22):

Energize yourself with a shake blended from mud, frozen toenails and a fresh batch of candied sand. Do not keep lemon pastries in your nostrils as they may cause your ankle hairs to turn into angry weevils.

Leo (July 23-August 22):

Your generous nature may ultimately be your undoing if you're not careful the next time you distribute pre-chewed gum and sticky paste to handicapped bees. Wrap yourself in flour and call yourself a cheeseburger to help contain your next outbreak of facial moles.

Virgo (August 23-September 22):

A peuce carmel hat will attach itself to your bum in place of the usual rabid potted plant this week. Keep it happy by feeding it granite dipped in creamed corn. Bake yourself a nail file to help keep up with your batty Aunt and her hyperdrive painter.

thank you, thank you
*bows*
mrgreen

Leo (July 23-August 22):

Your generous nature may ultimately be your undoing if you're not careful the next time you distribute pre-chewed gum and sticky paste to handicapped bees. Wrap yourself in flour and call yourself a cheeseburger to help contain your next outbreak of facial moles.

No! Not the bees! Anything but the bees! eek

it's kind of like butter actually, except it doesn't get churned.
basically you take fatty unpasturized milk, heat it gently and let it sit in a shallow pan for a day. The fat forms little clots which float to surface and then you skim them off. the result has the texture of creamy butter (I think)

Kill it! Kill it! Kill the Pumpkin! #7

OMG!!! My FAMILY!!!
:talkstotheepumpkinhead:
#1

I generally use napalm.