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 Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:30 pm
Esther smiled weakly back at Kirabo, and tried to eat, but couldn't seem to stomach it. She nudged the carcass over to Kira, and now sat, frowning slightly, lost deep in thought. Her mind had turned, once again, to thoughts of what they were attempting to do. They were attempting to join the largest pack of hyenas that she knew about. They would live together, with them, with others, again. Her imagination combined with her memory managed to paint a picture or leering faces, teeth dripping with blood, and the presence of pain. A mocking laugh still rang in her head, as clear as it was then, piercing her deeply.
Her mind turned fearfully toward the thought of the pack leader, the female, whom she only knew was named Mafa. Esther had to wonder what she was like. Would she be more accepting, or would she be like . . . her. At that thought, every memory came unbidden from the depths of her mind, and flashed quickly through her mind, over and over. She felt her limbs shaking slightly, and her eyes and jaw were clenched tightly closed, her breathing was quick and shallow. It hadn't been this bad in a long time. Not in years.
When it had passed, she forced her eyes open, and she took several deep breaths, forcing herself to think of nothing. A blank slate . . . clear water . . . a cloudless sky . . . nothing.
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Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:46 pm
Kirabo nodded slight seeing she was not in the mood as he moved over and began to eat he then he felt an odd feeling about them. He turned and looked over to Esther as he jumped over to her worried she was acting wired and he was worried. He nudged her softly as he let out a small whimper.
"Esther...Esther whats wrong?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 1:50 pm
It was not easy. No it wasn't easy at all, but somehow she heard his voice and managed to pull herself out of it. Esther dragged herself back out of her mind and memories and physically shook, trying to rid herself of them. After taking a few deep breaths, she turned and looked at Kirabo. She could see just how worried and anxious he was, and she felt bad that she had caused that in him.
She smiled, weakly, trying to reassure him. It didn't work, she could tell, but Esther hastened to reassure him. "I'm o-okay, now. I . . . was thinking of what we are doing here, and I remembered what had happened. Just some bad memories. They're in the past, away in the past, but the connections, I couldn't help bringing it back up. I'm fine now, really." It was bit of a lie, but she was better than she was. She eyed the corpse with little interest, but made an attempt, leaning forward and taking a bite, chewing it slowly.
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 8:33 am
He looked at her as he wanted to scould her for think up things from that past but didn't as he watched her closely. He then looked to the sky seeing it was only mid morning.
"I'm going to go look around ahead okay. You think you will be allright on your own?" He said as he moved over licking her head softly trying to coax her to eat more.
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Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:59 pm
Esther hesitated before nodding. She would be fine by herself. She attempted to give him a reassuring smile, and though she didn't quite succeed, she hoped that it would be enough. With determination, she took a few more bites and managed to swallow them down. It helped to wake up her hunger a little more, and she attacked the corpse with a little more enthusiasm.
She watched as she left, and then curled up in as small a ball as possible. Esther didn't want to sleep, just rest, and see if she could pull up her confidence enough that this wouldn't be as much of a challenge. It shouldn't have been. This was not the same pack. She was older, stronger, and smarter now. She would not let the things that had happened to her then have a repeat. Esther would not be weak again.
Repeating this over and over in her mind like a mantra, she stood and worked on cleaning up the space, dragging the rest of the corpse to an area where scavengers who found it could enjoy it without getting in the way. Then, she took a deep breath, repeated her mantra, and with a smile, turned in the direction that Kira had gone, and went to follow him. It was time. Time to join, and time to once again, be a part of a pack.
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