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Depression...

Mitsuki Reigen

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Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 7:08 pm

W a k i n g T h e D e m o n
W h e r e ' d Y a R u n T o ?

I'm sure you all know what this is..and have felt it at one point or another...but have you ever been extremely depressed...the type you need medication for?

The past three weeks I've been hiding behind a mask...acting as normal as possible. Id smile, id laugh, id fool around like normal. Nobody suspected a thing. Id get home..and still act normal. To them, nothing is wrong. But...yesterday I cracked. People can finally see how I am on the inside.

I haven't eaten more than once every two..three days. The rings under my eyes are horrible...so visible, so there. I have trouble concentrating...My vision is playing mind games with my head. Everywhere hurts. It feels as if the life has been sucked out of me...like the sun cant even begin to shine. Everything that once brought me joy...everything that I once loved seems to mean almost nothing now. I used to love drawing...now I cant even pick up a pencil to draw a line. I feel worthless...useless...better off dead.

I'm surrounded by people daily and yet I feel as if I'm locked in a giant room where im the only one in there...the silence is suffocating me.

Im sorry...I-...I just needed somewhere to write this down. Disregard it if you want. Sorry if you wasted your time reading this.

W a l k i n g I n S h a d o w s
W a t c h T h e B l o o d F l o w !

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:10 pm

it is not annoying to read, it is annoying not to be able to help.

I feel all alone, but I don't have any friends here, so I can't do anything about it. so I can imagine being all alone with lots of people around is more lonely.

but just to say it, I don't believe medications is a good solution, because I believe it will get harder when you want to stop taking the pills.

vicmoon

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ynattirb73
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:33 am

¨*:·.♥.·:*¨
Actually, I know exactly what you're talking about. I did (and occasionally still do) struggle with it. I agree with vicmoon on her opinion about medication. Depression often is a genetic/biological condition. Medication helps regulate it.

http://depressionisreal.org/

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:51 am

Depression sucks. I've never been chronically depressed, but I know some people who are. It's a real thing.

It will go up and down though. For everybody. You can fight it, but you also have to accept it. Pretending it's not there is just as bad as just giving up on it.

Not saying you've done either of those.

I know how it is to feel completely alone, even when you're walking down a crowded street or in a room full of people you know. Like there's some kind of disconnect.

I don't know if you are or not, but sometimes just getting out of the house to go for a walk to somewhere quiet can help. Works me for, at least.

songwriterscramp
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the_ilse_witch
Captain

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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:39 pm

"Sometimes you can feel all alone in a room filled with people"

Have you tried to reach out to someone physically close to you? Like a school friend, counselor, relative?

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:02 pm

W a k i n g T h e D e m o n
W h e r e ' d Y a R u n T o ?

-nods-
I tired. My mother doesn't believe me...and someone who is like a brother to me...i told him. Ya know what advice I got from him?

"Make sure to swallow painkillers when you kill yourself. Then you'll go peacefully in your sleep"

That hurt.

[also, thanks ynattirb for the link, im checking it out now]

W a l k i n g I n S h a d o w s
W a t c h T h e B l o o d F l o w !

Mitsuki Reigen

3,600 Points

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the_ilse_witch
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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:11 pm

Ugh! People are stupid xp

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 1:36 pm

W a k i n g T h e D e m o n
W h e r e ' d Y a R u n T o ?

Agreed. I need better friends.

W a l k i n g I n S h a d o w s
W a t c h T h e B l o o d F l o w !

Mitsuki Reigen

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Robertp3001

3,850 Points

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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 2:06 pm

I've only heard bad things from people take anti-depressants. You should definitely see a counselor because they are usually trained for such things

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 2:17 pm

I think you need a hug.

I wish I were there to give you a hug.
You'll have to settle for an e-hug.

*huggleglompscuddleloves*

ShirleyAMOR

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ynattirb73
Crew

5,500 Points

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Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 6:41 pm

I really appreciated that website.
I found out about it because I saw a billboard that said

You never hear people say "Just snap out of it, it's just diabetes"

So true.

Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:49 am

W a k i n g T h e D e m o n
W h e r e ' d Y a R u n T o ?

-is huddledglompedcuddledloved-

Heh...thanks everyone. Somehow I knew this was the right place to go.
<3 you all.

W a l k i n g I n S h a d o w s
W a t c h T h e B l o o d F l o w !

Mitsuki Reigen

3,600 Points

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