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 Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2007 4:02 pm
Today was just generally a bad day. I was and still am farily upset that I've been searching for a job for 2 months now and have yet to get one. Not to mention the fact that I start college on the 27th, and apparently my loan from the bank didn't go to GCC. Gotta fix that by tomorrow. So I have a bit of stress.
Today just felt like too much. I was going to pick up Chris(my fiance) today and all I could think about was that I was speeding and I could easily just go off the road and hit a tree. If I hit it right it may not even hurt bad.
The only thing that stopped me was the fact that Chris had no one else capible of picking him up from work. As soon as I picked him up I let him drive. He helped me with some of the stress, but I didn't tell him about my suicide thoughts.
He does know I'm bipolar, but I've never mentioned the suicide. I think it would freak him out too much. I attempted once, but I was drunk, and he stopped me...
Sorry, I just wanted to vent guys... sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 6:10 pm
Hey, you want to vent, vent away. My angry, cynical ranting has kept me from losing it several times.
You thought about things, but you didn't. Why didn't you do anything? Because you don't want to.
Truth be told, everyone thinks about it. Normal people just deny it. People with mental illnesses tell others to try to get help, and assume this makes them strange.
Now, screwed up people like me... I don't BS it, I tell you, if somebody tells you they haven't gotten upset enought to consider death as an out, they are full of s**t.
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007 8:24 pm
Oh wait, let me add more to the drama. I have a very regular period, and I am on birth control. I am also sexually active, go figure right?
Occationally my fiance and I slip up and we have sex when I'm not on the pill, or I forget a day. Well, I'm supposed to have my period currently, I don't yet. *waits sweatdrop *
As you can imagine, pregnancy scares are not fun. I've had one once before. I just dont know if I can afford the test, and I don't wanna worry my fiance OR excite him(he wants kids) unless I have to. gonk
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 10:25 am
Mizz Trish Oh wait, let me add more to the drama. I have a very regular period, and I am on birth control. I am also sexually active, go figure right? Occationally my fiance and I slip up and we have sex when I'm not on the pill, or I forget a day. Well, I'm supposed to have my period currently, I don't yet. *waits sweatdrop * As you can imagine, pregnancy scares are not fun. I've had one once before. I just dont know if I can afford the test, and I don't wanna worry my fiance OR excite him(he wants kids) unless I have to. gonk Ouch. Okay, this is when you just have to relax and wait for real answers before freaking out. There are plenty of free, confidential clinics that will do pregnancy tests. I know of free clinics because I don't have healthcare. Anyway, because of the sensitive nature of the subject they will do the test, get you in and out, no questions asked.
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:59 am
Not pregnant thank god. I want kids but not yet. Gotta do the college thing first...
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