Welcome to Gaia! ::

MY GUIARDIAN

I had no siblings to live with; I had no relatives close by. The only aunt I had was my mom’s sister, who lived all the way in Italy. I know I’m Italian but I’m not very culture oriented. I mean, the only Italian I knew was “Bonne appetite!”
The social worker had told me 2 weeks after my parent’s death that my Aunt Magdalena was coming to pick me up and bring me to Italy. I felt like I was being brought up from hell only I got used to burning and liked it. Part of me wanted to hate the situation, part of me wanted to strangle the social worker, and the other part was okay with leaving because as I walked those streets I had tears being held behind my eyes. That part of me hoped that I’d find somewhere I feel at home in Italy.
Within the next two weeks I bought an acoustic fender guitar and bought a “Teach Yourself to Play Guitar” book. I also asked one of my few friends Jesse to help me too because she’s been playing for 5 years. I learned some basic chords, and how to tune the guitar without using a piano or electric tuner, and I learned a few songs. I then decided to play street shows, so I’d bring my guitar, coffee cup and a stool down to the metro and play some songs I had written myself. I love poetry, in fact that’s probably the only reason I stick around school until after English. I wrote about how hard it is to cope with a loss, how hard it is to be outside looking in. Sometimes while playing the songs I’d start to cry uncontrollably. Once I earned enough money I bought a guitar case.
The night before my Aunt Magdalena came I was packing and weeping my eyes out. I haven’t traveled without my parents since my mom signed me up for summer camp in the summer of second grade. I looked through all of our few family pictures and stumbled across one that was taken during my parents wedding. I saw a tear drop fall on to the photo and put it in what I called a “memory box”. I kept the box since I was 5 and always kept it out of reach of people other than me. I continued packing and while looking through my father’s desk I found a hidden stash of beer. I grabbed one and looked at it smiling while tossing it from one hand to the other.
“Wow dad, I said to mom that ‘at least he doesn’t drink with dinner’, I stand corrected. You’d drink after dinner.” I said.
A few hours later I finished packing and since the cable was cut, I couldn’t watch TV. I then sat down on the plastic covered couch in the living room and popped in my old Green Day CD. I tried to turn on my CD player but it had no battery left. I had no other choice than to try to write a song since all of my books were packed already. I took out my guitar and notebook which I kept in the pocket of the guitar case. I sharpened my pencil and began brainstorming.
“…I can write a song in a split second, it being all about your bad personality.
It would be so detailed and so intriguing, because no one has ever had their tears freeze in the air. You are laughing now but don’t be so sure, that you won’t be a puppet here on the floor…gasping for breathe and holding on for dear life. You say you don’t follow trends and have a bad reputation. Well guess what, that is all your fault. You say ‘I’ll be the star on stage that never ever, ever will fade away.’ I’m sorry to tell you but you just turn to grey, turn into old news…”

Honestly this song is written to a former friend of mine. Betty Renolds used to be my best friend throughout middle school and for the first few months of 9th grade. She then decided to try out for the cheerleading squad, her exact words were “Don’t worry, it can’t kill our friendship!” My exact words were “Yeah, but it definitely won’t help it.”
She then became friends with this girl named Marissa Celeste. They then kept talking about me behind my back and in front of my face. I couldn’t believe it but by the time we were sophomores, Betty and I never spoke to each other again.

I stopped often because the sounds of the city were outside my window that I haven’t been able to close for years. One hour passed and all I’ve been doing was fiddling with my guitar. I checked my watch and it was already 1:00 at night. I grabbed a small blanket and fell asleep on the sofa.
The next morning I was woken up by a knock on the door. I get very grouchy in the mornings so I waited till the knocking turned to kicking. I unlocked the door and saw some lady who looked to be in her late thirties. She ran up to hug me before I could say anything. I was puzzled and since my mouth was closed shut with spit, I mumbled, “Aunt Magdalena?”
“You’ve gotten so tall!” she said. That was the first time in a long time I’ve been called tall.
“Oh please just call me Auntie Maggie.” I’d much rather call her Maggie.
Gasping for breath a snooty looking blonde girl walked up behind Maggie.
She was wearing a H&M tube top with denim short shorts and white rhinestone sunglasses. Pretty much anything you’d never see me caught dead in.
“Mom…how did…you run 4 flights of stairs!” the girl said. The apartment building has no elevator, that’s what gives me such a wonderful physique. Who am I kidding I’m a toothpick with noodles attached to it.
“Christina this is your cousin Diana!” Christina gave me a short wave while bending over still panting.
“I’m sorry my name is Diane, with an ‘E’. Hey Christina, do you want water or something?” I said looking down at the poor girl. She gave me a nod and I gestured them to come in. Maggie looked around the apartment frowning. Yeah sure the place isn’t very luxurious but it’s my home. Finally she sat down next to Christina who was chugging down Aquafina.
“My, you did all of this packing all by yourself?” Maggie said.
“Umm yeah, it took a long time but I had nothing better to do.” I replied.
Christina sat upright and said, “I’m sorry for your loss. I remember Uncle Matt and Aunt Kay. They were really good people.”
I said thanks while choking back tears. I guess she noticed and put her arm around me.
“It’s okay, let it out.” She said. I felt happier. She was the first person to try and comfort me. You’d think that there would’ve been a funeral but we couldn’t afford it. We’re getting their remains shipped to Italy. She let go, then I wiped my face with my sleeve and looked up. Maggie was just looking out the window. Does she have any sympathy? Honestly, BOTH my parents died and she just was just going to sit there like I just stubbed my toe.
“Diane we have to call the movers so that we can get all this stuff loaded. I already called a taxi.” She said trying to change the subject. Oh right a taxi, because there’s no car to drive. I looked up, raised my eyebrows and said, “Uh, yeah we should.”
I really was nervous on the drive to the airport, and not because I was scared of being put to a new environment, but because I have never been on a plane before. I am a human being, if god didn’t give us wings or the ability to levitate than of course we belong on the ground. What if a storm hits and the plane crashes? What if my window breaks and I fall out the window? What if my baggage falls off the plane? I might get motion sickness too because I get puke-ish easily. I was actually shaking and Christina was just sitting there like we weren’t going at least 30,000 feet up in the air. Don’t you have to be acclimated? I feel nauseous already.
Once on the plane it didn’t feel as scary as I thought. I guess that’s probably because Maggie got the window seat. I was actually a little excited because my first plane ride was a 1st class flight. I usually don’t ask for a lot of things because my mom would say that it were too pricey. On this flight however, Maggie said I could order anything I want. I said O.K. and ordered pretty much every single snack available. I was full after 3 bags of Frito Lays, a bag of peanuts, a soda, water, and chocolate candy bar I bought before we boarded. I fell asleep after 5 hours on the plane. I woke up about an hour and a half later because Christina had been getting a little to into it with her iPod, and was air guitar playing and whisper singing like crazy. I looked up at her and she just continued as she was. There was an hour and a half left until we reached Paris, where we’d be met by Uncle Luigi who was going to drive us back to their estate just outside of Rome. I needed to kill time so I was going to read my book but Maggie said it could ruin my eyesight. I took out my iPod and pretty much did what Christina had been doing before, just instead of listening to Britney Spears, I was listening to The White Stripes.

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

I woke up the next morning to Maggie shaking my shoulder to wake me up. I looked at the clock and sighed. School started at 7:30 and Maggie woke me up at 5:45. Is she serious? That was 2 hours and 15 minutes I had of extra sleep! Well, she kept yelling so I had to get up before she decided to carry me into the shower. I made it to the bathroom, which just so happens to be mine and mine alone. I took a nice shower and then took some hair gel into my palm. My hair back in Brooklyn was always spiked and partially covering my eyes. I overheard Christina talking to Uncle Luigi about my multi-colored hair. I couldn’t help but laugh as I walked away. Christina said that it was just about wanting attention. Uncle Luigi joked about how it may attract people but not in the right way. I liked my hair just the way it was so I styled it just how I used to.
I got dressed and skipped my way downstairs. I continued to skip and hum some song by The Smashing Pumpkins. I walked into the dining room and smiled at the sweet aroma of fresh baked pancakes. I sat down and munched my plate all up. Ever since fourth grade I have never had breakfast on a school day. Then again I haven’t had real homemade pancakes since first grade. I heard Christina call me from outside. I stepped outside with my skull print backpack and smiled. There I saw Christina in a silver Bentley. I squealed so loud and ran into the car. I never thought that I’d ever get to ride in a Bentley!
The car smelt of peaches and the steering wheel had a yellow floral cover on it. I sat down on the passengers side and carefully closed the door. I’d definitely would feel bad if I broke a car worth the price of two times my old apartment.
We reached the school where hundreds of students hung out on the yard. I felt butterflies in my stomach as I walked past crowds of teenagers. I was so zoned out that I bumped into a tall, rather well dressed stranger. I looked up and found Joseph staring down at me smiling. He has the looks of an Abercrombie model, with his perfect brown surfer hair, his blinding white smile, and his muscles. I didn’t think anyone who looked like that, would EVER notice someone who looked like me.
“Umm, sorry I mean umm…” is all I could get out.
“I speak English, don’t worry about it.”
He speaks English?
“Wait, so if you speak English why did Christina still have to order for me?” I said trying to put it together in my head.
“She didn’t have to. She did anyway, but if you want you can come back after school say, Wednesday and try again.”
Is he…trying to ask me out? Wow, maybe the new hair gel I bought is good luck!
“I’d love a second try. Wait I don’t think I can because I’ll need a ride.”
“I can pick you up.”
I didn’t have to think twice, “In that case then yes, I’d love to.”
I was dragged away from my gazing into Joseph’s deep hazel eyes by Christina. I glared at her, and she said “Come on you can flirt with Joseph later we have to get to homeroom.”
I walked into the stuffy classroom which apparently had no air conditioning. I was still holding my bag because I wasn’t given a locker yet. Although many love the first day of school because there isn’t any real work to be done, everyone is excited to see each other after two months apart, but having a second one where no one is excited to see you because they don’t even know you isn’t exactly the best day ever. I mean, most of these people grew up together, without me. I find it impossible to ever know any of them the way they know each other. The good thing is none of them know anything about my past. I can start all over. It’s sort of like a new identity but with the same name. Well I think I already blew it by putting on my rocker school girl outfit and spiking my hair. My mom used to say that it made me look intimidating. I’m actually pretty cute, well personality-wise. I just hate it when people pre judge me and expect me to punch their eyes out if they even say the word “Hello” wrong. I hate stereotypes. Some people at my old school said that I was a self injurer. A stupid rumor got out that I slit my wrists, pull out my hair, and asks people how should I kill myself. I don’t do any of that! Sure sometimes I wish I was invisible, numb, sometimes I wish I couldn’t think or feel anything. I sure do wish those things most of the time but never had I ever, EVER thought of suicide.
The teacher smiled at me and I quickly glanced at the name plaque her desk. My attention span being the lowest possible I kept looking at the plaque, which made me miss Mrs. Campanello telling me to take any seat I liked. Obviously Christina saved a seat for me and was gesturing for me to join her.
I sat down in the metal bars and plank of wood that you’d call a desk, and immediately spotted Joseph from across the room. He turned to smile at me, and I couldn’t help but giggle a little bit. Mrs. Campanello was taking attendance and heard me laugh. She walked up to Christina and yelled at her in Italian. She was telling Christina to translate the things she wanted to say to me. “Young lady, please give me your cell phone to call for take out so we can have lunch that doesn’t taste like rubber.” I knew that couldn’t possibly be what came out of Mrs. Campanello’s mouth, but it was sure funny that Mrs. Campanello actually thought that was the real translation. I found out from that, that most of the students understood English because you could see smiles on peoples faces holding back laughs.
Mrs. Campanello finished attendance and called Christina and I up to her desk. I took the lock she held out and she told Christina my locker info, except for the combo for security, but she wrote it on a Post It note and stuck it on the back of the lock. I felt bad for Christina. She’ll probably need to translate for most of the teachers. I looked at my schedule and laughed because Maggie pulled some strings so that the only period I’m not with Christina is 7th because it was ISL (Italian as a Second Language).
During 7th period I felt more attached to the crowd than my other classes because the students there were almost all fluent in English. I was early and so sat down in the middle. Everyone knows when you sit in the back you’re a rebel, and when you sit in the front you’re a kiss a**. I know I should be in the back where I belong, but I wanted to start over didn’t I? A few students came in, one of them a girl with corn rows that are multi-colored and a funky glam rock looking blue and black striped dress. The next a guy with an odd tattoo on his neck of a dragon that stretches to the back of his neck and creates the name “Melissa”.
Did I say that out loud?
“Huh?” said the tattoo man.
“Oh nothing…I was just…um reading your tattoo…”
He gave me a look that was just screaming shut up. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see the glam rock girl she pointed to him and whispered to me, “That’s Jack, he’s sort of a loner if you don’t include me.”
“Are you Melissa?” I asked, thinking they were dating.
“No, that’s his mom’s name, she died a year ago from leukemia. You thought…yeah right like I’d ever date him. Just friends, just really close friends.”
I felt a little embarrassed, because I hate it when I say the wrong thing. It makes me feel stupid. Why would she tell me about his mother when I didn’t even know her? I didn’t even know him! The rest of the class was a lot of fun because my new friend, glam rocker Nikole had the same really bad fake Italian accent as me. Every few minutes I’d glance over at the tattoo guy, his real name was Terrance. He looked so sad, his long hair covering his face, him looking down and scratching off his black nail polish. It made me feel a little depressed looking at him. Is this going to be me? Mourning the death of my parents forever? I had to shake it off. I was at school, and on the first day. Impressions mean everything, I can’t break down. Not here, not now.
After ISL I walked to study hall. On my way there I noticed Terrance in a way following me. Maybe he was just in the same class as me but he was standing right next to me the whole time. I sped up so that people don’t get under the impression that we’re dating. I mean, if Joseph saw me what would he think? I’ll tell you what he’d think, he’d think I’m a two timing fraud.
I took a seat next to a stack of books and started my homework when I noticed someone sat down across from me. I was too wrapped up in my honors math homework that I didn’t bother to look up at who it was. I saw a black shirt and that was pretty much it. Christina was wearing a black tank top today under a white cardigan. I just supposed it was her so I said still working, “What’s up loser.”
“Your words hurt.” Laughed a familiar voice. I looked up at Terrance, and suddenly felt a large mixture of guilt and embarrassment.
“I thought, um sorry Terrance.”
I looked around the room trying to find something to make it seem like I didn’t do something terribly stupid. I found Christina checking out a book at the counter. I didn’t really mind Terrance sitting with me. I mean it felt better than sitting alone while everyone else are studying the anatomy of kissing and/or the real social studies. I had to admit, Terrance was kind of cute when you cut out the tattoo. I mean he had strong arms and long straight hair. It was parted to the side giving that emo touch.
“So how do you like the school so far?” he asked trying to sound cool and mellow even though he was obviously really nervous. I think this is the first time I’ve ever made a guy nervous. I mean Joseph was just naturally chill, but it made me along with feeling flattered, feel like he’s talked to so many girls that it doesn’t matter to him. Terrance made feel equally as flattered but unlike with Joseph I don’t feel like I’m being played.
“I like it. It’s a 50 foot step up from my old school back in New York.” I said smiling trying to make him feel a little less uncomfortable. We made small talk for a while as I finished my homework, until finally the period was over. I gathered my book and began walking out of the room but was stopped by a tug on the arm. I was pulled back and Christina had a giant grin on her face. “So who was that guy you were with?”
“It’s not what you think, he’s just a friend I met in ISL.” I said in defense.
“Are you sure about that? I mean you were giggling a bit loud to just want to be ‘friends’” she said putting air quotes on the word “friends”. I had to admit Terrance was cute but I didn’t want to put off Joseph.
I laughed it off and then we walked out to the gymnasium. On our way there I saw Nikole handing out flyers. She waved to me and so I walked up to her and noticed the expression on Christina’s face change from mellow to confused. I ignored it and continued to Nikole. She handed me a flier and smiled, “Terrance and I are in this two person band called Farlo Danneggiano. This is a flyer for our show in the basement of the pizzeria 5 blocks from the Trevi Fountain. You should come! It will be fun!”
Christina pushed through the crowded hallway chewing gum with her mouth open. “Are you done yet?”
“Oh, hey there Chrissie” grimaced Nikole.
“Oh hello Nikki, and it’s Christina.” she shot back.
I saw tension so to stop a cat fight in the making, I jumped in and said, “Well Nikki I’ll think about it and I’ll contact you.”
Nikole turned back to me and nodded and walked off. For about the millionth time today I was pulled back by Christina.
“You’re friends with Nikole Barbossa?”
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that?”
“Too much to say in a day.”
I was in the locker room and felt a little awkward. These girls had great tans and had chests, not bug bites like me. I quickly slipped on my gym shorts and ran out. To warm up we had to run a lap around the track field. Although I may not have a long enough attention span to play any sports, I could run laps around anyone. I finished first and a blonde woman in Nike sweats clicked on her stop watch. She raised her eyebrows and looked up from her organizer and smiled at me.
“Did you know that you just broke our school’s record?”
“I don’t know what to say, I have a gift of skinny legs!” I giggled back.
She showed no emotion so I stopped laughing. She looked tough, and kind of intimidating. I didn’t feel like talking to her much so I just stood there and waited for her to say something else. She didn’t for a while. She turned around and picked up a packet of a white form and a yellow one. She handed it to me and I looked down at it. It was to join the cross country team. My old school didn’t have a track team, let alone a cross country team. I didn’t know much about the sport. I knew only that in it you have to run long distances.
I nodded and walked away to put it in my gym bag. I walked back out to the middle of the field where my class was doing stretches. I saw Joseph dribbling a soccer ball (or foot ball here I guess) around and waved trying to flirt. I didn’t look as cute as some cheerleader might have but I was getting there. I made sure to fold my shorts a little shorter than necessary.
We were starting the long jump in P.E. so I was really excited because I remember when I visited my mom’s old college buddy on long island, they had a trampoline in their backyard. It was tiny but fun. I’d run up to it at full speed and leap on to it and hop up as high as I could. Too bad the old apartment didn’t have high enough ceilings to have my own trampoline.
I was getting suddenly nervous as I got closer and closer to the front of the line. To take my mind off things I made small talk with the girl behind me. I finally heard the gym teacher scream “È la vostra girata!”
I was confused as to what she was saying so I didn’t know what to do. She repeated it again.
“È la vostra girata!”
The girl I was speaking to understood my dilemma so quickly said, “Scusarla prego, lei è americano.”
The coach nodded her head, “Dirle di andare già!”
“She said that it’s your turn, and to hurry up and go because you’re slowing us up.”
I nodded and took a quick look at the bar. It wasn’t very high, well to me at least. I ran as fast as I could and leaped. I flipped in the air so I would land on my back and not on my face or my head.
I got up and looked around to see surprised faces. I hadn’t noticed it at first, but no one landed perfectly yet. I had. Some of the girls clapped and hooted. I decided to join in but since I was still catching my breathe I just gave the “I Love You” hand sign and fell back on to the mat.

THE PLANS, THE DATE, AND THE KISS

The next day I opened up my locker and found a letter that was in a purple envelope. I ripped it open and read it carefully.

Dear Diane,
I hate myself for what I put you through. I feel like a jerk. Please meet me. Turn around I’m right behind you.
Love,
Joseph
He was right behind me? I felt breathing on my hair. I turned and found Joseph standing there with a bouquet of flowers. I smiled and took them.
“So are we just going to communicate through notes, or are we actually going to speak to each other. If sticking to notes, sorry I have bad penmanship.” I said.
“Well in that case then I think I could use my vocal chords. So since we never got to go on that ‘semi-date’ thing, how about Saturday, around eight?”
“Sure! I’d love to go.” I replied.
He waved goodbye as he walked down the hall. I bit my lip to keep from smiling. I turned to my locker and saw the flier for Terrance and Nikole’s concert. It was on Saturday, eight o’ clock.
Oh god, I really wanted to go to the concert but I really wanted to see Joseph. I hate this! I looked at my watch and banged my head against my locker. I was 8 minutes late for my first class.
It felt like a regular school day from 1st period to 6th. I inhaled a deep breathe and walked into the ISL classroom head down. I sat next to Nikole who was braiding a strand of her hair and chewing gum.
“So why so down?” she said copying down the homework.
“A lot of drama.” I replied laying my head down on the wooden desk.
“Whatever drama your talking about, don’t worry it’ll all mellow out after a while.”
“I wish time flew by when you’re having a sucky day instead of when your having fun.”
I finished copying down the homework and sat up to listen to the ISL teacher.
“Okay today we are learning about common greetings as well as common phrases that you will most likely need to know.”
I wasn’t the most enthusiastic kid there then. So I mumbled into Nikole’s ear, “So how do you say, ‘Chill out’ in Italian?”
She giggled lightly and covered her mouth so the teacher won’t look our way.
Terrance shot me a look from across the room. I looked away the moment our eyes met. I pretty much slept with my eyes open the rest of the class. The bell rang and I tried to take longer than necessary to pick up my books so I could avoid Terrance. I mean after the dramatic scene yesterday and the bruises on his knuckles as proof, it’s hard to talk like normal again.
I looked at my feet and walked towards the door as fast as I could but bumped into a tall guy in skate shoes. I looked up even though I knew who was standing in front of me.
“Look I know you think I’m a train wreck of a guy but can I at least make it up to you?” Terrance said in a voice that made him sound, well vulnerable.
I didn’t feel like talking so I just gave him a nod.
“In that case wait for me after school near the main entrance. I have a surprise for you. If you don’t want to go I’m fine with it.”
I felt sorry for the guy and so just to make him feel a little less of an a*****e, I gave him a hug. He was a little stunned but hugged back. I saw Christina walking past the classroom.
“Hurry up or the two of you will miss study hall!” Christina said sticking her head through the doorway.
I grabbed Terrance’s hand and followed Christina to the library. Christina’s friends were seated at a table where there were two extra chairs. Christina invited Terrance and I to sit with them but it looked kind of awkward. I mean Christina and her friends were wearing pinks, yellows, and baby blues. Terrance and I were wearing well blacks, grays, blood reds, and whites. We looked a world apart.
“Diane meet Rosalina, Katie, Yvette, Pete, and Matt.” Christina said pointing them out.
Rosalina was a brunette in a French Connection long t shirt with black tights and chunky heeled gold shoes. She had tons of makeup on and her hair looked like it took hours to make. She was just reapplying lip gloss every 5 seconds.
Katie was sitting flipping through a magazine. She was a curly haired red head with a red shiny head band. She had freckles and unlike Rosalina had almost no make up on. She was wearing a knee length puffy sleeved navy blue dress with white polka dots and a red leather waist belt. She smiled sweetly at me but although sweet, it looked totally forced.
Yvette was working on a math textbook page and was looking really stressed. She looked like she was about to break the calculator with how hard she was punching in the numbers. She was in cuffed jeans and a pink tank top.
Pete was the identical twin to Matt, but they looked totally different. Pete wore a striped polo and ripped jeans, a total California pretty boy look. On the other hand Matt was wearing a soccer jersey, cargo pants and hiking boots. They were thumb wrestling and I think by the fact that Matt was cursing his head out, Pete was winning.
I took a seat next to Katie and Terrance sat next to Matt. So at first it was just a regular new student conversation with the “So how do you like it here so far?” and the “So where’d you come from?” and that sort of thing. Yvette stopped scribbling in her notebook to ask me the most laugh worthy question.
“So where’d you two meet?” she said looking at me then looking toward Terrance. We exchanged looks and we felt sort of weird.
“Oh you though…you thought him and I were…no we’re not…” I struggled to say.
“Just friends, that’s all.” Terrance took over.
“Oh sorry I thought, ‘Man a boyfriend after only three days of school? God this girl must be a guy magnet!’” laughed Yvette.
Everyone laughed at the table and Terrance looked toward me and smiled. I smiled back. I knew how he felt about me, and although I was going on a date with Joseph I think I was actually falling for him. He’s funny, cute, smart…oh my god. What was I doing? I knew almost nothing about Joseph, and knew a lot about Terrance.
I remember when I had my first crush in 6th grade. It was on this basketball player named Nathan Buscha. He was a really tall for his age 7th grader, and when my dad heard about it he was not happy at all. I remember we’d used to go over each others apartments to play dominoes or watch TV. First I told my mom about the little crush and she thought it was sweet. She told my dad on the phone and that day when he came home, he said I couldn’t speak to Nathan anymore. I guess when they say you have a crush you almost always get crushed.
After school I rushed to the main entrance. I ran so quickly out the door that I didn’t even noticed Terrance leaning against the brick wall. He called me over and took my hand. He led me to a blue mini cooper. He rushed to the passenger side and opened the door for me. I felt like a princess coming into her limo. He got in and smiled at me as he put the key into the ignition. It felt weird since this was a European car, the passengers side was on the left. I couldn’t help but tilt a little to the opposite side when we’d pass by cars.
“So where are you taking me?” I asked suddenly when noticing I didn’t know yet.
“You’ll see.” He replied.
We parked in front of a large stone building that had boarded windows. I was a little confused. Why were we here?
“You said you like punk rock right?” said Terrance leading me to a staircase that lead to a basement.
“Um yeah…”
He opened the door and I saw punk rock heaven. It was a dark room with dim multi colored lights and people with odd colored hair and tons of piercings were walking around holding vinyl records and CDs. A plump guy with a winged black heart tattoo on his chest waved Terrance over. I followed still in awe of this secret underground rock & roll paradise.
I just looked around while Terrance greeted the man.
“So who’s the chick?” he said.
“Arty this is Diane. Diane this is Arty.” Terrance pointed out as I shook Arty’s hand.
“So you guys take a look around and uh enjoy.” Arty said going back behind the counter.
We walked away and I remembered I didn’t have any money to buy anything.
“Take a look around and if you find anything I’ll get it for you.” Terrance whispered into my ear as we were walking.
“Are you sure? I mean you don’t have to.” I replied.
He shushed me and said, “No I don’t have to but I want to.”
I went into an isle with old Blondie CDs and was amazed at how they looked brand new. I went farther down the isle to find the new White Stripes CD that I thought was impossible to find here in Italy. I decided to get that and tapped Terrance on the shoulder. He laughed when he saw my choice because he was holding the same CD. We went up to the counter and I saw up on the wall a fender Stratocaster.
I was pretty good at the guitar by now so I asked if I could fiddle around with it. Arty handed it to me and I sat on a stool in the corner of the room. I played a few tabs of a Taking Back Sunday song and Terrance and Arty head banged to the sound. I gave back the guitar and grabbed the bag with the CDs.
We rushed out the door and up the stairs. It was starting to get dark out and it was raining. I checked my watch and jumped. It was already 6 o’ clock and I forgot to tell Christina or Maggie that I was going to be late. I didn’t even have a phone to call them nor did I know their number. I told Terrance and he pulled up his jacket to cover us from the rain. We ran to the car and drove away.
I gave him directions to the estate as we went home. He finally pulled in front of the front door of the estate.
“So see you at the concert on Saturday?”
I remembered my dilemma with the whole Joseph thing. I pulled a strand of hair that was in my face behind my ear.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
I reached for the car door but Terrance was on my shoulder. I turned around and leaned in. Before I knew it I was kissing him. At first I kissed back but then I pulled away when I thought about Joseph.
“You don’t deserve me. You’re a really great guy and I’m…” I couldn’t say anything else. He held me tight as I cried.
“You’re right I don’t deserve you. You’re smart, funny, beautiful, and you have more on your mind than shoes and makeup. You are amazing, you just don’t know it.” Terrance said still embracing me.
That wasn’t exactly how I was going to finish that sentence. I was going to end it with “a cheating idiot who doesn’t even consider the consequences and who is going to hell.”
We sat there for a moment just cuddling until we heard a tap on the window. I looked up and there was Maggie with her hands on her hips looking down at me with a cold stare.

THE NIGHT

I was excited about listening to my new CD and so right after dinner I rushed up to my room and popped it into my laptop. When I took the CD out of the case I noticed another CD underneath it. I picked it up and saw that the song list was scribbled in sharpie on the front of the CD.

When You’re Gone By Avril Lavigne
What I’ve Done By Linkin Park
I’m Sorry By Maria Mena
You’re Beautiful By James Blunt

That was possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me! I felt my cheeks turn warm and hugged the CD. I imported all of the songs and put the case and the two CDs inside my memory box. That’s odd, I just noticed that Terrance was the first person to be put into my memory box besides my parents.
I was just about ready to go to bed when I got a knock on the door.
“Hey it’s Christina, are you asleep?” Christina called from the hall.
I hopped up from my bed and tied up my hair. I opened the door and was about to say hello but she swooped in under my arm before I could say anything.
“So how was it?” she asked all giggly.
“How was what?
“The date!” she replied.
“First of all I’m sorry about making you wait after school today. Second of all it wasn’t a date…well yeah sure we did end up kissing at the end but…”
“AH YOU GUYS KISSED?” she squealed.
I hugged a pillow and buried my face in it.
“Aw you guys look so cute together! I heard mama barged in on you two. Man that’s got to be embarrassing.”
“Well here is the problem, or problems. Before I got in touch with Terrance, Joseph asked me out for Saturday at 8, BUT before that, Nikki asked me if I wanted to go to her and Terrance’s concert. Here’s the other problem, your mom grounded me so I can’t go to either event!”
“So then just tell them you can’t go. I mean they’ll understand.”
“But I want to go. I’m not sure to which one though. Even then it’s better one than none.”
Christina thought for a second and then gave me a grin.
“I think it is time for a little teen rebellion…maybe I can cover for you at home. Maggie has dinner with her book club on Saturday nights anyway. She’ll probably call in every once in a while though.”
I smiled at her idea. But how was I going to answer the phone when I’m out partying?
“Wait, you know how my New Yorker accent sounds right?” I said getting pretty excited.
“Well yes, what is your point?”
“Say something with my accent.”
“Hey can I have a ride?” (sounded like “heyy kee-an ie hee-ave a ride”)
Perfect.
“My voice sounds almost exactly like your voice. So if you could do my voice on the phone when Maggie calls, it just might work.”
We high fived each other. I felt a little bad for Christina though. I mean I’ve put her through so much trouble.
“Are you sure you are okay with this?” I asked Christina.
“Damn right I am.” She answered back. It sounded like I was talking to myself.

With one problem out of the way, just one more. How was I going to be at two places at the same time? Or two places at different times…

MAKE OR BREAK DAY

That morning, when I woke up I just laid there to pretend that I wasn’t pulling one of my biggest stunts ever that night. I stayed in bed for thirty minutes but finally forced myself up.
I went to the bathroom and went through my regular routine. I walked out to the hallway while still a little zoned out and walked down the stairs to the sweet scents of pancakes and syrup.
I sat down to eat next to Christina who even after just getting up, looked beautiful in a way I knew I’d never be. As everyone else made conversation, I just ate quietly. They were talking in Italian so how was I supposed to communicate? I thought to myself, “Hey I’ve learned a little in ISL already, why not put it to good use?
“Eh…potete passare prego lo sciroppo?” I said in my almost genuine Italian accent.
Once I said that everyone at the table stared at me for a second, then laughed hysterically.
“Buon lavoro!” shouted Uncle Lu.
“He says ‘good job’!” explained Christina.

The rest of the day seemed to fly by. When the clock struck 7:00 I got up from the sofa and ran upstairs to get ready. I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. When I got out of the bathroom there was a pretty cute outfit laid out across my bed. I smiled and thought to myself, “Thanks Christina.”
I got dressed and sat down in front of my mirror. It was just then it hit me. I didn’t know how to do my hair and makeup! I was so use to just tying up or spiking my hair that I never took the time to know how to do it properly. I almost never wore makeup besides a little eyeliner and lip gloss. I was going to ask Christina to help but felt bad about making her do all of that work. So I turned to my only other option. I flipped through an old teen magazine that I used to always read.
Use a liquid liner to trace your upper and lower lashlines for sexy looking eyes
I still had a bunch of makeup my mom used to use and so found black liquid liner in the leather makeup bag.
“Thank you mom.” I said to myself while applying lip gloss.
“Goodbye, I’m off to my book club!” I heard Maggie call out from downstairs. I heard the door slam and pulled on a robe to hide my outfit.
10 minutes after I heard Maggie drive off, I heard another car pull into the driveway. I peeked out the window and saw that a teenage boy in a striped polo with cargo Bermuda shorts walking towards the door.
I rushed downstairs while taking off my robe. I got to the door but then Uncle Lu came into the room.
“Hey you know you cannot leave!” he yelled.
I opened the door and Joseph had a rose in his hand.
“Aw, amore…” he whispered looking at Joseph.
“Okay, okay I let you off hook this time.”
I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and ran out the door. Joseph put his arm around my waist but as we walked back to the car he tried to lower it. I pulled it up not saying a word and he just looked away. I got a little too used to Terrance just opening the car door for me that I stood there in front of the door for a moment until I noticed Joseph waiting inside. I got strapped in and we left.
“So are we going to eat out, or what?” I asked.
“There is this underground concert hall where I heard there is a show tonight of some local band. I think it was called ‘Make it…’”
“Hurt.” I ended his sentence. No please no. This cannot be happening.
“But before then I wanted to stop by a friends house he’s having a little get together.”
“Umm ok.”


“Hey can I have a Heineken?” shouted a guy from across the smoky room.
It was possibly the most horrid environment possible. I felt so uncomfortable because I didn’t drink nor smoke. Joseph was pretty much doing both. If this was his idea of a date, romantic must be eating trash out of a garbage can.
It was really loud in the room. I mean hearing loss loud.
There was a knock on the door. That couldn’t be good.
“Police!” Joseph opened the door and ran for it disregarding me to the highest level. I froze right where I was standing. All I could see was the flashing light from the cop car outside. I was handcuffed and stuffed into the backseat without a fight. That is how I ended up here.

I CAME IN FIRST AND ALMOST LOST SHE CAME IN SECOND AND BARELY WON

It’s been one week since I’ve gotten arrested. I saw Terrance in the hall yesterday arm around another girl. Nikki confirmed he was just trying to make me jealous, but when I saw him kiss her as I walked by it felt all to real. I got on the track team, but so did “she who should not be named”.
Right now we were at practice and Terrance was watching from the stands. We had to do drills. I was running when I saw SWSNBN run up next to me. I ran faster and got a little further ahead of her but she soon caught up. What is she trying to do? I looked her in the eye and she had one bitchy smile on her face. She wanted a race, I was giving her a race.
We were steps away from the finish line. I decided to do a move that’ll probably make her pissed off. I sped up and ran in front of her. I cut her off and ran past the finish line. I won. Take that.
That was the end of practice an so Terrance walked up to the team to ride SWSNBN home. He passed by me and couldn’t take his eyes off. He had his head turned as he was walking. He accidentally bumped into SWSNBN and she hugged him and kissed he on the cheek. I think I just tasted a little puke in my mouth. He was still looking toward me until SWSNBN turned his head towards her. She tried to kiss him but he pulled away.
I walked up to them. This would be my first conversation with him since the mistake.
“Hey um can I talk to you real quick?” I said looking straight at him.
“Babe…” said SWSNBN.
“Please?” I said.
He pushed her off Terrance and I walked far enough away so that no one else could heard us.
“I made a mistake. Joseph was a jerk. I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking but…I guess that sounds a little predictable but it’s pretty much all I got. I’m a two timing b***h who doesn’t deserve a guy who cares about her I don’t deserve you. That’s what I’ve been trying to say but I couldn’t get it to roll off my tongue. But then I fell for you. But that morning Joseph asked me out again and I already said yes and I hardly knew him! But I didn’t care and you know why? Because no matter what I’ll always be the daughter of an alcoholic who has the life that seems worse than hell and with those two demons bestowed upon me I thought I mind as well make my life a little less sucky with ‘fun’ adventures! It was a freaking adventure alright. I had one life left and blew it. So with whatever you’re about to say, please make it be a revival potion.”
“I…” he tried to say something.
“You know how you said, ‘Coming in second, sometimes means you win. In this case, I came in second but got the same prize as last’? Well I came in first and still waiting on my reward.”
He put his hands in his pockets and stared at his feet.
“Well at the show, I got a little worried about you because I heard some girl got into a mosh pit and had to be sent to the hospital. I called your house to ask if it was you but apparently you were in a jail cell by then. I was going to go with your Aunt to go get you but she said not to. She told me where you were and I don’t know what happened from then. I got piss drunk even though I’ve never drank beer before. Then while intoxicated and angry I ended up making out with some random groupie in other words Carolina and while the intoxication went away the anger stayed and so did she. In all honesty I never really liked her.”
“You were that worried?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry” we said in unison.
We hugged each other for a while until SWSNBN crawled up behind us and pushed me away. Eh it was my turn to get my knuckles bruised. I tapped her on the shoulder and she turned her head. I then gave her a slap that was so hard it made a mark on her face.






After 2 minutes of hair pulling and Terrance both laughing and trying to get me off of her she declared defeat and Terrance dumped her. Joseph was caught eventually and was sent to jail. His parents did not bail him out. Terrance and I have been dating for 5 years now and hopefully will be engaged by the time I’m 30. Senior year Aunt Magdalena decided to make the family go on a week long vacation to New York with me as the tour guide. I felt right at home. We finally had a proper funeral for my parents. I inherited Al’s Bar but since I couldn’t run it from Italy I gave it to Nikki who moved to New York with her sister. Christina got a modeling job and so is going to fashion school. Aunt Magdalena wrote a best selling book about her almost daughter’s life (that would be me*) And so with that, I say goodbye.

Despite the fact I'm not a huge fan of realistic fiction, I'd have to say, you did a really good job.