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It's titled "I will Survive."

Her eyes closed painfully as she felt the sting seep into them. A sudden gasp for breath as she tried to reach the phone and crawled to the bathroom; she locked the door behind her and started to dial, but she could already hear the sirens. She glanced up and saw her own reflection staring back at her. The blood falling from her nose and down her neck onto her lab coat, she moaned in utter pain and stumbled to the mirror even closer. She swung the cabinet open, the sirens were getting louder. She grabbed for gauze and tried to cover it, tried to make it better, but the blood just kept falling out.
The door was busted open and she could hear men coming in, calling for her name, but she didn’t have the strength to call back to them. Just barely she managed to open the door for them, and just as a man came up to her, she fell in his arms, unable to move.
He lifted her into his arms like a baby and carried her out of the building, running as fast as he could, towards the ambulance. He jumped in and they immediately closed the door, the sirens and the flashing light starting again, her eyes opened and she found herself in a van, dark, but somehow light at the same time. Confusion and panic rushed through her body so quickly, her reaction was unexpected.
“No… he can’t… not again…” She cried to herself, cradling herself, moving to make her body sit upright. The man tried to push her down, but she fought him with all her strength. He gave up and let her sit up, and when he did, she felt her body thrust more forward than she had intended it to; she cringed with pain from her back as she sat back further.
“Who can’t do what again?” The man asked. His face lightened every ten seconds with the continual flashing lights. His white jacket fell about him perfectly, his dark hair just above his dark eyes. For a couple moments, she just sat there, pain inflicting her everywhere on her body as she felt someone gently shove a new, white gauze pad under her nose.
“Where am I? What happened?” She asked quietly. She shocked herself at the sound of her own voice, unusually raspy and scratchy.
“You’re in the ambulance…we’re not quite sure what happened. You called 911, but the call was lost. When after a moment, no one called to confirm anything, we traced the call and you were in the bathroom…bleeding rapidly. We think you fractured your nose, and both of your eyes are bruised, along with about half of the rest of your body it looks, and you have cuts where your bleeding is minor.” She took a moment to take in what had happened. She struggled to breathe regularly and she pushed her breath through her lungs and expanded her stomach as much as she could for breathing, but she still found it very difficult to breathe normally.
“Do you remember what happened?” The man asked her, putting a cold stethoscope on her bare chest, a fast steady beat thumped into his ears as she took another slow, sobbing breath.
“I…I…” She couldn’t finish the sentence. She wanted to know what happened, but it wasn’t coming to her. How long had she been knocked out? What happened before…? She remembered talking to Susan on the phone…
“Maybe in time you will,” he said quickly, taking of the stethoscope as the lights and the sirens stopped immediately right after. The ambulance stopped moving and the doors were pushed open. She’d seen it so many times before, but it was usually her that was bringing in the injured…
“Abby!” He screamed at the top of his lungs and she could just barely make out his voice. Her name echoed in her mind, the sound of the pain in his scream… she shivered up her spine.
She felt herself being lifted out, and put into a wheelchair, but she wasn’t in the wheelchair for long. She saw a tall figure swoop down and pick her up; he was running again, into the hospital. She felt his arms weaken, but he would not let her down. The sweet smell of cologne invaded her nose and she breathed it in, her breath getting slower and slower. He could feel her slipping away, her heart faintly beating against his shaking body.
Into the Emergency Room he ran, dropping her carefully on the bed and screaming that there weren’t doctors that had been following him as quick as he had been. No one had recognized it was their own that was barely alive…
“It’s Abby! Get in here!” He screamed, his voice was still echoing in her ears, but she couldn’t understand what he was saying. She could feel blood, or tears, she couldn’t tell which, falling down her face. Faces surrounded her, and she could only identify Luka and John… Luka was cowering over her, checking her heart pulse, doing everything… but John was backing into the corner, not doing anything but staring at her. She was now sure they were tears…
Her eyes closed completely and she saw nothing but blackness, but she could still hear people’s voices, they just kept fading away, becoming lighter and lighter, until they were nothing. Suddenly she felt her body surge into the air as pain hit her chest, lots of sighs of relief filled her ears and she could hear beeps. She was sure the beeps were her heart beats.
Clothes and wetness covered almost all of her body, but mostly her face. They started to take off her lab coat, and she had no strength to argue… but when they started to take off her clothes, she had to stop them… she didn’t want them to see her past on her body.
Her hand reached out to Luka’s arm and he stopped removing her clothes at once. Her eyes started to flicker, but they couldn’t open, her mouth started to shift, but she felt no strength to talk anymore.
“Don’t talk, you’re wasting breath,” he tried, but her hand found its way to his mouth to shush him. She took in a couple deep breaths; the doctors were all staring at her, helplessness surrounding the room. When her eyes finally opened, she couldn’t see John, only Luka and Susan, and a bunch of nurses that she couldn’t really recognize yet…
“I…keep…” she started, but the words were jumbled and quiet, almost like a faint whisper. Luka leaned down to her lips in his ears. She tried again.
“I want to keep…” She took a deep breath of pain as a nurse dabbed gauze on her leg. “My clothes on…” She said finally and Luka could tell she was finished talking. She could hear the nurse ask what she’d said, and she felt agitated and frustrated that she had no strength.
“She wants to keep her clothes on,” he said smiling. “You know, Abby, we’ve seen naked people before,” he joked, but he could see pain that lurked in her eyes, and it was not a kind of physical pain.
“And so we will,” he said, more serious, glancing back at the nurses.
“She needs a full body exam!” Susan cried back at him, annoyed, looking at him as if he were insane. But he shook his head at her.
“We can’t examine her without her consent. And we don’t have her consent. We’ll do what we can until we do have her consent,” he said, equally annoyed.
“We’ll get Carter to do it, he’s bound to have seen her naked before, right? And they’re still ‘together’, so it should be fine… is that okay, Abby?” Susan tried but Abby shook her head.
“Carter and I do not have sex… much to his disappointment,” Abby mumbled, but it was easier to understand her, and indeed, everyone had. They looked at her, amazed and even the two nurses had stopped cleaning her lower leg wounds.
“My clothes…must stay on…” She said, closing her eyes again out of weakness.
The two nurses put on bandages on her clean cut wounds. The bruises remained untouched and as a nurse dared to touch one on her high thing, where her pants had been cut open with a large cut wound next to it, even with the gentlest touch, Abby screamed a blood-curdling sound; it was unnatural and made them all jump nervously.
“Don’t touch me!” She screamed. Her voice threatening and scared; her body was shaking uncontrollably. Luka put his hands on her hands and tried to comfort her, and he did… her shaking stopped almost as quickly as it had started and her screaming sobs calmed.
“We need to fix it…” The nurse tried, unsure how to react. All of their faces were widened with concern. She now recognized the nurse as Sam; the other one was still unclear though.
“No… don’t touch me… I’m sorry… please… just don’t…” She whispered, her words hanging in the air. No one dared to touch her but Luka, his hands still placed on top of hers. Sam looked at the two of them and cursed silently in her head to herself. Without even having enough time to blink again, she knew Luka was going to slip away from her and Alex…right back into Abby’s arms… again. Luka would always be Abby’s. Everyone knew it, no matter how much Sam tried, Abby had his heart in her heart, and no matter how hard Carter tried, Luka was always going to have Abby’s heart.
“Okay, we won’t. She should take morphine for her nose fracture...” And before Luka could even finish, Abby was shaking her head, repeating no over and over again. “At least vicodin,” he said, but still she shook her head, “Tylenol, I’m fine… Aspirin even…” She said stubbornly, and he knew the battle was beat. It would be Tylenol. “You need sleeping pills, you won’t be able to sleep well, and we need you to sleep well…” He said, but she shook her head. So he just said “fine” and walked out, leaving her alone with them.
Abby wondered if he was angry at her, and fear shuttered over her again, her body was shivering and shaking, her breath fast and uncontrollable, she couldn’t contain her panic when he left the room. Susan, Sam and the other nurse stared at her, worried. She ignored them and cried to herself, pushing herself up into a sitting position. She brought her knees up to her chest and shoved her face painfully down on her knees. The tears that fell just came right off of her face and into pants.
“He’s not mad at you, I’m sure of it, Abby, he’ll be back,” Sam said, trying to reassure her. She didn’t know why she was doing it, she hated Abby for taking him from her, but she knew it was never meant to be with herself and Luka anyway, why make Abby suffer- what was the point of her additional suffering?
Abby’s breathing slowed a bit, but she still cradled herself and cried. Her breath was soft and hot against her cold body. She heard the door open but she didn’t dare to look up. She could hear it was Luka anyway. He wasn’t mad…Sam was right.
He came over and touched her gently on her shoulder, where no cuts or bruises had managed to damage her. She glanced up at him and saw him holding a glass of water. She could feel a lump in her throat suffocate her, and she could feel the stares of all of them looking at her.
“You should drink some water. It’ll make you feel better,” he lied; he couldn’t believe he was telling a doctor such a stupid lie. She knew it wasn’t going to make her better. And she probably knew that he only wanted her to drink it because he had mixed medication in her drink, against her will. Nonetheless, she took it and took a sip, but it was a very small sip.
“I meant a little bit more than that, Abby,” he said, smiling at her, she could feel her heart rate slow down, well…actually, she could hear it, literally. Her breath slowed to a normal pace, and in time, she stopped shaking, and only tear stains remained on her bruised and cut face. She took the cup to her lips and took another small sip and handed it back to him. He took it, but he still wasn’t pleased she didn’t drink it all. Maybe he could get her to if they were alone…
“I think Abby’s good. She needs rest, ‘kay guys?” They nodded. Susan walked behind Luka and whispered “I think she was raped,” and walked out solemnly. Abby could hear her, Sam looked back at them before she left and Abby’s eyes followed them all leave.
“Can you drink the rest of the water, please?” He asked, handing her back the cup. “I know you can chug,” he joked and she smiled slightly, but it hurt her jaw incredibly. He could see the pain in her eyes that no one else seemed to be able to see…
She took a gulp of water and choked a little bit on it, an automatic reflex. He frowned, and was convinced she would refuse to drink anymore, but she finished the glass…for him.
“We should really check out your whole body, make sure you weren’t raped, and that you’re not infected with cut wounds that you won’t allow us to see… we really need to give you a full body exam.” He said, trying to persuade her to let them do it.
“I don’t want you to see me…” She cried her pain apparent to him more than ever.
“What don’t you want me to see?” He asked.
“We never had sex because of it… I didn’t want you to see…”
“See what?” He repeated but she just rambled.
“For so many years… he just… he couldn’t contain himself; I never wanted him to touch Eric, if Daddy never left…” She sounded like a little girl; flashbacks were crawling back into her memory…
“Abby, were you beaten as a child?” She choked in sobs and didn’t answer him; instead she just ignored him altogether. “Abby, were you beaten as a child?” He repeated, and again, but still he got no response except for louder sobs with each question. He looked at her legs that she was cradling so well, and Susan’s comment brought him back to the present, instead of seeking into her past.
“Were you raped, Abby?” Luka’s grief and sorrow overfilled him and her legs fell down straight slowly, and she started to lean back on the bed, in a lying position. She lay on her back and covered her face with her hands, crying hysterically.
“He didn’t mean to kill him… he was just a little boy. Eric didn’t mean to kill him, I told them I beat him with a baseball bat, but it was really Eric, he didn’t mean to almost kill him…Eric walked in, and he was so scared… but I was in self defense, if it would have been me, we would have won the case, Eric wouldn’t have…he had no reason to kill him, but I did… but Eric did it for me, he was so scared, he was just a little boy!” Abby screamed. The blinds to the room were still opened and there were doctors and nurses crowded around outside, looking in on her. They surely heard what she had said…
“And he wasn’t an instant death, and I was so beaten up and so was Eric, we had to come to the hospital with him, and they found out I was pregnant and they told him when he woke up that I was pregnant and Eric got so scared… he went into his room in the middle of the night, and I tried to tell him not to, but he was so scared of him, and I told them it was me who did it, but they knew it was Eric, but they didn’t care who was it was. My mother was so mad at us, she went into a deep depression, she was all alone again… she didn’t know what to do with us, I was only seventeen and a half; Eric was only six! He didn’t know what he was doing, he was just so scared…he was just a little boy!” She screamed at Luka, her voice scared and fast.
“My mother… she didn’t know what to do with my baby… Eric was so scared of her now too, and he didn’t know what to do… he was just a little boy, small and frail, innocent of everything, he didn’t know what he was doing, I swear! I know he didn’t! But my mother…she didn’t care about Eric, only my baby…I couldn’t get an abortion, the church disagreed, I couldn’t have it, the church disagreed with that too…so she…Eric…she pushed me down the stairs and Eric pushed her down too, and he didn’t know what else to do! He was all I ever had, and I was all he ever had, and they were screwing us up and he was scared, just a little boy…” Her voice trailed off, with each word getting quieter and quieter. The sleeping pills started to kick in.
“I’m still a virgin…he made sure of that,” she murmured and fell off into a deep sleep. Luka stared at her unbelievably. He didn’t know how to react what she had just said. She’d lied to the cops to save her brother? Was it her father? Didn’t he leave when she was only four?
He stood up; turning around to be shocked at how many faces had clouded the windows. Had Abby seen them listening in? Or did she just not care anymore?
He walked out of the room, his face completely white compared to his natural glowing tan. Sam walked up to him and she just threw her arms around him in a hug, trying to comfort him, but she knew it wouldn’t work. Carter cowered away from him and ran into a patient’s room.
“Abby’s going to need to get her full body scan now; she’s going to be completely knocked out only for a little while… we need to make sure she’s not secretly killing herself.” He said, and as he said it, people just stared at him. The faces that looked at him…they were covered with a sorrow as if he had just suffered from a loss.
When no one moved to immediately do this, he yelled at them “we need to make sure she’s not secretly killing herself!” And the sadness that stroked his voice when he repeated himself, it was clear to everyone. They immediately ran into Abby’s room and started to undress her, with the blinds closed now, of course.
Luka couldn’t force himself into the room, not even when they called his name repeatedly. He couldn’t look at Abby, not after hearing what she had said just moments ago…he couldn’t look at any marks he had left on his body…he was sad enough for her already. But they didn’t get it; they thought he should see her. They dragged his body in to see a completely scared Abby.
They had left on her undergarment. But her back was covered with clear marks that were cut deep into her skin, and her thighs, right around her bikini line was marked up with cuts and scars. The many bruises that she had received tonight was not near the pain she had been so used to, it was probably a relief to only have that… that’s why she didn’t want medicine, she knew just how much worse it could have been.
Luka could sense tears stream down his own face as his warm hand ran over her still back; and the scars were like deep lines of memories for her. He now understood Abby too well. She wasn’t afraid of showing him her “private parts” or her stomach, she was afraid of showing him her past, and it would have literally been, showing him her past, just by undressing herself for him.
What would he have done if she had decided to have sex, and never told him about her scars? What would he have done when he wrapped his arms around her body and felt lines that felt like scars? Or if he hadn’t felt them, what would he have done if he woke up the next morning and saw her lay naked next to him, her back showing it to him?
“I thought you should see…I mean, if she didn’t want anyone to see, we can always say you were the only one who did…because she trusts you,” Susan said softly, putting Abby’s shirt back on, and putting on her pants, with only minor difficulty.
“I think she’s lost weight, she’s only 120,” she added, before Luka could oppose to him being the bad guy.
“I don’t want her to think I was the one who ordered a full body search, if she even finds out…and what makes you think she trusts me? She practically screamed that to the whole hospital, I just happened to be the one in the room when she said it.” Luka said angrily, storming out of the room. Susan took off her gloves, laying a sleeping Abby back on her sore back and chased Luka.
“But you did order a full body search! You made the call! And she needed it! She had sores that should have been taken care of! It was a good thing we did it! And what makes me think she trusts you? For Pete’s sake, she would only calm down when you were in the room!” Susan yelled after him, the hospital staff was now listening in on them.
“She’s in love with you! Of course she trusts you, and damn well you know it!” Susan screamed when he wouldn’t reply quickly enough for her. Sam stood there, watching them argue about Abby, and how Abby loved her boyfriend. Susan had told her just yesterday that she was sure Abby loved Carter…not Luka, not her Luka…he was slipping away, had already slipped away.
“Abby is not in love with me!” Even sleeping pills couldn’t keep you asleep with this noise. An awkward silence filled the hospital and Abby opened her door, her broken body leaning against her doorframe.
She was heartbroken at his response, and it was written all over his face. He was denying her love, but she had hoped he would get rid of Sam…Sam was only a temporary person in his life so that he could make her see how much she really loved him…
“Abby is in love with you. And she can tell you herself,” Carter said, moving his head over in Abby’s direction where she could barely stand on her own.
Silence came about them again and Luka looked at Abby and then at Sam, Abby was staring at the ground and he knew what Susan said was true, and he didn’t want to deny Abby… but he didn’t want to hurt Sam either.
Frank came up to Abby and put her in a wheelchair so she could manage better. She sat down gratefully and then started to roll away, into the opposite direction of everyone. They watched her push her chair with as much strength as she muster, but it really wasn’t enough… she wasn’t strong enough to push herself, everyone knew it, Abby knew it, but she wouldn’t give up.
“Where are you going?” Frank bent down and asked her in her ear.
“For a midnight stroll. Where else would I go?” She gasped out and he took her sore, weak arms off the wheels and into her lap. He pushed her into the elevator and went in with her.
“I hope you don’t mind if I join you.” He said, making a comforting presence quiet her.
“Of course not, Frank,” she said so softly he could barely hear her. They closed the elevator door and they were left by themselves, leaving all the loud screaming and yelling away from them.
Abby’s eyes filled with tears and she looked down at herself, down at her weak and beaten body. She’d looked at her body so many times, why was now so different? She had gotten so used to it…and finally when he died…she’d gotten so used to not having to look at her body.
“I remember what happened…my neighbor…Brian. I put his wife in a woman’s facility for protection from him…he beat her, hurt her, fought with her all the time, and she was so scared of him… He wanted to know where I’d put her, but I couldn’t tell him, she was safe where she was…and I wanted her to remain safe and calm, peaceful and happy, without any beatings, without any fights or pain, but I don’t think she lived without any of the memories of him anyway. I wouldn’t tell him where she was, and he got angry, and when I kicked him out, he got even angrier, and I started to call the cops right when he knocked again, and I’d said ‘hello, I’m Abigail Lockhart,’ and he broke down the door, and I remember the phone being knocked out of my hand, and I think fell onto the table, but he pushed me off of it, and he had a pocket knife when I was trying to fight with him before he pushed me off the table…” She said. “He wasn’t nearly as bad… I was only knocked out for a couple minutes, if that.” She added, wiping a wet tear from the side of her eye. She cringed in pain as she touched the wounded eye.
Frank remained quiet, he was an intent listener. He didn’t want her to stop, that way, he could tell the police what happened, and she wouldn’t have to go through it again, but she did stop, her voice was silent and she felt she had nothing else to say of the matter.
“I’ll tell the police, so you don’t have to. You need rest.” He said to her, being a father-like figure to her. His proud height and his little, but big, belly and just his appearance made her think of her own father.
“You look like my dad.” She said, and he was startled beyond repair, as he had thought it was her father who had beaten her.
“He left when I was four. My mother remarried ten years later, and then Eric another year later. But he was a good father while I had him. You look just like what I remember of him.” She said softly, for the first time he had ever spoken to her, her voice was peaceful and not stressed.
The elevator doors opened at the top level, but Frank closed them again, no one had gotten in the elevator with them anyway. He pushed the button to go back down to the ground level where they had originally come from.
Luka was waiting by the elevator entrance on the ground level, Susan waiting by the other elevator, just in case they switched. When the door opened again, and they were back, he wanted to embrace Abby, but Frank shook his head from behind her.
“Speak for yourself when you say other people’s thoughts and feelings,” Abby said quietly and Frank strolled her back into her room, leaving Luka and Susan feeling worthless.

{Still in Progress... that's like... chapter one?}