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 Posted: Thu Aug 16, 2007 11:48 pm
For those of you who are or have been sexually active, what are your guidelines pertaining to when you have sex with someone? Do you wait until you're in a loving, committed relationship? Do you wait until the third date? Do you want sex with no strings attached?
For those of you who have not had sex yet, what guidelines have you set for yourself for when you do have sex?
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Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:02 am
I ask partly because I think this would be a genuinely good conversation and partly because I don't know for myself.
I waited to have sex until I was 20. A combination of me not being entirely ready and my significant others either not wanting to or trying to pressure me had kept it from happening any earlier. My girlfriend at the time had had way more experience and I had us wait until love had developed in our committed relationship. On our two month anniversary, we had sex - the first time for me. Our relationship was great and I couldn't have picked a better time, partner (at the time) or way to lose my virginity.
Two months after she dumped me in early Feb., I became rather close to this absolutely amazing girl. We talked openly about having sex when I would eventually go visit her (she lives in St. Louis, I'm in Milwaukee, I went on a road trip) and both of us had checkups beforehand. This girl and I weren't officially committed and we weren't in love, but we both decided that if it happens, it happens. When I visited her, we kissed a couple times and that's it. I don't regret that we didn't have sex, but I don't think I would regret it if we had.
And now I frankly don't know where I stand. I don't think I would want to go as quickly as St. Louis girl and I had prepared to, but I don't know if I want to go as slowly as I did with my ex. I hadn't rethought my guidelines since my trip to St. Louis in early April because I haven't had the need to. Until now, my few attempts at dating turned into flops. Now I'm a bit more seriously dating this great girl and I just don't know anymore.
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Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:11 pm
Well, I've only had sex with one girl who is now my bestest friend. We dated for about... half a month before we did anything. But I think the main reason why we may have moved so fast was because we knew each other for a good while before dating in the first place. Even though we aren't dating, I would still sleep with her if I had the chance though since we know each other like that. We have a weird relationship, though.
With someone else, like a girl that I really like but just met and only dated for about a month or so I would seriously think about how much I can trust this person consitering sex for me is big when I'm dating someone. But if I met someone and knew them for that same amount of time or shorter and was simply sexually attracted to them and things got alittle heated... things would happen but not full on sex. Like alittle making out, some hands going somewhere but I would stop there.
So what am I trying to say? It pretty much depends on the person. But I'm usually not the type of girl to just sleep with someone and have one night stands. If I really like the person, we were dating, and we don't have any sexual history I would not rush into things.
Hope I made sence.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:24 pm
I think it depends on a lot things, but I am one of those people that believe that it will happen when it should.
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:26 am
I too think that it should happen when it feels right.. by this I don't mean you'll force the feeling out and it's all good, but you'll know when the time comes (oh how cliche is that xp )
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