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 Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 10:51 pm
Some people say its been a distinct feeling they've had as long as they remember. Others, it was a whole path of discover. For many, myself included, its remains a long struggle to uncover the reality.
There's no reason one should need to 'uncover' anything, IMHO. If it is, it is. If only it were that easy for everyone, ne?
What is your experience? I know its a common question, and likely over done. But instead of asking for my own situation, I think it'd be better to let everyone else offer their own.
So... How did/do you know?
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Posted: Sat Aug 18, 2007 7:19 pm
I had always felt a little pleasurable twinge (best way I can describe it) when I saw scantily clad women and the like. Not having any clue as to what was going on and being raised strictly Catholic, I denied that such feelings existed.
In a very sheltered Catholic elementary school of 350 students, nobody in my eigth grade class really knew anything beyond kissing. But then this kid from a public school transferred and taught us everything. I kid you not. With this onslaught of vocabulary and ideas as well as my reigious conversion, I realized that my attraction to women was part of my sexuality. I began to identify as bisexual, but I told nobody and didn't plan to ever act on it.
Throughout high school, I was pretty much dedicated to finding the perfect boyfriend. Despite having left the Catholic church and beginning to study feminism, I still thought that such a goal was right up there with getting a dream job. I knew three bi girls, but they were all rather promiscuous and drunk. It wasn't until I had my first genuine girl crush (on a girl who later came out as a lesbian!) that I accepted and welcomed my attraction to women. I came out to a few friends. That self-acceptance and minimal coming out began a great increase in my attraction to women and a great decrease in my attraction to men. I had a boyfriend and, once I came out to him, began to realize that I was with him because I feared being alone and not because I was attracted to him or anything. I dumped him at the end of my freshmen year in college and came out as a lesbian.
My attraction to women stayed small because I made it a small part of my life. But I was also very unhappy and confused. When I began to deal with it as a part of my life that won't go away just because I want it to, my head cleared.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2007 2:10 pm
Well I'm bisexual and and MtF transsexual so I went through this twice sorta.
I think when I started to realize I was Bi I was starting to discover women anyway. It kinda just came with puberty, it turned out that I wasn't only into women but I like men too. I didn't really realize my attraction at first but I had been called gay and a f** my whole life so I had grown up thinking that it would be horrible for things to turn out that I was gay. I guess because of that I never even let myself consider that men were attractive at first. Then of course in grade 8 I had my first gay crush and well at that point I couldn't ignore men anymore and began to realize that I quite enjoyed looking at them and just all of that type of stuff. So as grade 8 went on I began telling some close friends and then in grade 9 I got in with a group of friends that had a lot of gays and lesbians and got the courage to come out around the middle of the year. It went better than I expect as I only told people on my MSN so only people that new me at least a little bit found out and yeah I lost several friends, but all the ones that actually counted stayed around.
At the end of that year I met this wonderful guy through one of my friends and we began dating, in the beginning of my grade 10 year he took my virginity and began opening me up to my sexuality. I was fine with it and enjoyed it all and then around late fall I began feeling uncomfortable with myself, I "didn't" know what it was. I denied my gender issues to myself and unfortunately around the same time my boyfriend dumped me. This is where discovering my sexuality really ended for me, and discovering or I guess more like admitting my gender began. I met this nice girl who I started to date, as time went on I began to become less and less comfortable with my gender, sex just didn't feel right and I broke up with my girlfriend and convinced myself I was gay. It was the end of the school year right around now and I was going away for the summer.
I went away and over the summer I took the biggest step of discovering myself, I came out to myself. I didn't understand the way I felt but I knew that was what it was. Grade 11 began and I still dind't understand myself still but I met another nice girl who I began dating over the year I suffered a lot of depression and turmoil as I began digging deep into myself to find out why I felt the way I did.
One day in particular really affected me, it was early November and I was going to my not yet girlfriends house to hang out, I had a coupon for Wendy's which was near her house so I figured why not. It's funny that something this simple would have affected me so much, it was something most people wouldn't even notice. When I walked into Wendy's the first thing I saw was a table of girls. I knew everyone who sat at that table and they were all either Bisexual or lesbians. The moment I saw them I wanted to vomit, but the reason I needed to vomit was because my situation cam into complete light that moment. That moment lead to me finding exactly what I wanted to become and needed from my gender. I guess if I hadn't walked into that room that day I wouldn't have figured myself out as soon as I did.
After that day the rest of the year was me slowly becoming comfortable with who I actual am. It is now the summer before I start grade 12 and I am pretty sure that I think I can say I am now done finding myself and done become comfortable with who I am and I am now in the process of become me and shouting it to the world. Today I put my chosen gender name in my MSN name and I hope to tell my parents sometime in the near future. 5 years later and I think I have finally settled.
I don't know if thats is what you wanted to hear about but I think if your lost you will find yourself in time. It will just kinda happen one day and you'll be like "... wow..."
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Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2007 3:38 pm
Mine is the same ol' story really lol. i fell hard for the friend i sat next to in art class, didn't see it for what it was at the time though. Maybe "i was sitting in class staring at a female classmates butt, then thought 'my god, i think i like girls" would be more accurate rofl
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:54 am
The first time Was watching a movie with a 3 some and it turned me on to see the 2 girls kissing and I kind of had a little side thought of, "wait that shouldn't turn me on" That was when I was about 12 I guess, then the whole Idea left me until I was 14 or so when I found myself infatuated with a friend of mine, after that I kinda excepted it and didn't really hold it against myself, I just really never consider myself a lesbian, its just normal
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:30 am
kinda felt something when i saw girls(specially in gym class) alots of my friends were bi and i just tried to ignor it n stuff
den alittle after i got my first real bf(had sum b4 him) i found that i never was really attracted to him...he was like a borther and stuff..
i told him how i felt we broke up and hes helping me out now! whee
yeah...that was a confusing story stare sum were in there i discovered "feelings" for the smae sex...blah-blah n took things from there... sweatdrop
also wen i meet a person i dont see ethnicities or genders just like a blank slate that needs a personality... sweatdrop
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:34 am
well... I'm still quite confused. i like men, but i am attracted to women at the same time. I've seen a video of two girls kissing before, and i thought. "Darn, that's hot." And a part of me wants to try something like that. I've been watching lesbian porns lately, and it really turns me on. xd sweatdrop I came from a Catholic country, and our tradition's quite conservative. So I have nobody to talk to about this except for a handful of people. A friend suggested that I ought to try 'doing it' with another girl, but I guess that's easier said than done.
So far, I am pretty much enjoying this guild. Its a big help. blaugh
Noriko Takeuchi
Psycho Head Nurse
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:15 pm
I have but one thing to say;
The best person to come out to is yourself.
<3
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:22 pm
I think I've always known, when I look back I can see that I was always attracted to strong female characters in television, real life, etc but totally disregarding those feelings.
I didn't even know what the term "gay" let alone "lesbian" meant until I was a sophomore in jr.high when one of my friends told me that she was drawing a drag queen. I didn't even know that having a relationship with someone of the same gender was even possible, and my first reaction to it was very homophobic.
Then it went from homophobia to curiosity and I started look at girls, together, being intimate and such and found that it really turned me on. So then I got a boyfriend, and two weeks later dumped him for a chick in Laval and labeled myself as bisexual, basically just to fit in with my boy crazy friends.
Then I graduate middle school and told everyone that, screw it, I only found girls attractive! And then I got into my second relationship (my other girlfriend and I had broken up) and my new girlfriend was the first person I had ever had sex with...and I think that's the end of my story. :p
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Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 9:34 pm
when my girlfriends and I were little we used to play doctor, innocent games mind you. we were 9, and the "patient" was stripped down, laid on a table, and poked and proded at were ever. and I sorta liked it.
then the day came were one of my more perverted creepy friends in 6th grade and I were at her house alone, and she said lets play a game of house were you be the mommy alone at home because her kids were at school and I'll be the robber that breaks in.(we had active imaginations, and what we did we thought of as innocent because wewere playing, and I got into the games alot because I have the mind of a childO_O)then when she "broke in" she stripped me and tied me to her bed then started doing all sorts of things to me and I really was turned on by it. then in 7th grade I was on the edge of sexual curiosity and I met a girl in the mall and I wanted to ******** her. thats how I knew.
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