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Blake and Magdalena (Please Critique!)

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Kita-Ysabell

Distinct Conversationalist

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:17 pm


Blake and Magdelena come from a dystopian fiction world where people have become distanced from one another to the point where they have tons of relationships, but none of them mean anything. The government runs everything, including a para-military youth group, segregated by gender, that includes massive drug use and pretend orgies. Fun times are had by all.

~~ heart ~~


Name: Blake

Age: 34

Appearance: Caucasian. Average height, strong build but doesn't excercise much, so a little overweight. Thinning brown hair cut in a trendy style (short, sticks up a bit) favors jeans, sweaters, polo shirts, all generally in dull colors. Slouches.

Backstory: Had a nice, normal life. Went to college, joined a fraternity, drank a lot of beer, still couldn't get laid. Graduated, got a job with a news company. Always fancied himself as an investigative reporter, got stuck with sports. Hates his job; bitter and jealous. Girls don't like him; he's got neither glamour nor power.

Personality: Bitterness tends to override everything. He grew up with a sense of entitlement that was never fufilled. Despises hard work. Believes that he's a lot more intuitive than he really is. Doesn't get really angry easily, but holds tightly to resentment. Conversely, more loyal than is normal in his setting, and interacts well with people until they've failed to help in a fairly major way. Overall, self centered, but not overly judgemental.

Tortures: Minor, compared to what I do with another character in this story (besides being saddled with a miserable personality). At the begining of the story, a girl he is just about to have catastrophically bad sex with dies violently of what is later found to be an overdose of some medication she was taking, and he gets blamed and thrown in a weird suburb-prison place. He becomes attracted to a girl that is totally off limits (Magdalena), but then he accidentally kills someone, feels terrible about it, more or less gets chased away, and Magdalena comes with him. Beyond that, it's just minor disapointment. Or major. (the people that he thinks are going to save the world don't give a damn)
PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2007 9:28 pm


And here's the other one:

Name: Magalena

Age: 28

Appearance: Pretty, latina, a bit short. Long-ish, wavy hair, always tangled and messy, black. Decent phisique, but not perfect. Wide hips, big boobs. Tends to wear fairly revealing clothes (a mark of status in her situation) likes bright colors, but not too careful about the overall effect. Ears peirced a bunch of times, gold hoops of varying sizes. Two tattoos: barbed wire "bracelet" around left wrist; sacred heart w/serpent on right shoulder blade.

Backstory: Raised as a bit of a rebel, she participated in a violent uprising at 17 and was arrested and taken to the non-correctional facility (where Blake is later deposited) where she now lives. She was determined and worked hard, so eventually she learned how to fight well enough that she attracte the attention of the leader of a powerful gang, who added her to his harem. She became friends with a fairly powerful member of the gang, and helped him to execute a coup.

Personality: Positive and super outgoing. Strong-willed but relatively even-tempered. Devoutly religous, worships a semi-catholic snake-dragon thing. Possible Luciferian (it's not just anti-god, folks!). Has a deep-seated belief that everything will be all right, and that everything happens for a reason.

Tortures: What can you do to someone like that? Hit them? She doesn't doubt; to some degree, she can't. Um... she's probably been raped. I don't think she cares. neutral

Kita-Ysabell

Distinct Conversationalist

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