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 Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:29 pm
I figured, since I've seen a few of these up, I'd add a bit of my own into the mix as so to try and organize a few of my own thoughts as well as get a bit of feed back from anyone who wishes to speak up. And yes, I know, total yankage on the title idea, but I didn't know what else to call it so no huffing at me, m'kay?
So, here goes...
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Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:29 pm
Important (music) Dates:
~ Aug 31 Lamar Game - Away - Sets 1 - 34
~ Sep 7 Bay City - Home 34 - Movement 3 - Drum Major/Section Leader Flute DUET
~ Sep 14 Neederland - Away - 'Pride of Waller' Show - Full *kills the four measures of 6:4*
~ Sept 15 Honors BoA Recordings due!
~ Sep 21 Foster - Home - Sets 1 - end of Movement 3
~ Sep 25 18th Birthday! - Nathan comes back from the Marines!
~ Sep 28 Willis - Away - 'Pride of Waller' Show
~ Oct 5 - Caney Creek - Away - 'Journies of the Mind'
~ Oct 6 BoA Houston - All day, full show of 'Journies of the Mind'
~ Oct 12 Huntsville - Home - Full show
~ Oct 13 Full Day Rehersal
~ Oct 19 Bhrenam - Away
~ Oct 20 Region UIL Marching
~ Oct 26 Montgomery - Home
~ Oct 27 Area UIL Marching
~ Nov 2 Community Preformance of 'Journies of the Mind'
~ Nov 3 BoA San Antonio - Super Regionals
~ Nov 5 - 6 State UIL Marching
~ Nov 7 Livingston - Away
~ Nov 12 Orchestra Try-Outs
~ Dec 1 Christmas Parade
~ Dec 7 - 8 Region Auditions
~ Dec 10 Winter Concert
~ Dec 11 Region Auditions - Final Round
~ Dec 12 Spring Try-Outs
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Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:47 pm
8-29
So, today wasn't have bad. My lessons went rather well, despite having to have everything cut short due to marching season, but, such is the price of doing well. I think the poor girls I've got working on the Freshmen music have it a bit easier then they think they do, but, I don't work with them to hear them complain aside from the normal grumblings about already despising their music... Meh, they'll learn.
Marching practice went well, despite a huge rainstorm encircling us during the start of it all. Didn't get enough time to strech out everyone for practice, of which I, personally, am regretting at the moment because I'm sore as can be. >.<; Lots of lighening going on around the school, wasn't exactly too keen on staying up on my METAL drum major stand, but, since the tower behind me is taller, I figured one of my directors would fry before I did, so I was alright.
I'm happy though, I'm getting over my fear of falling off of my stand! Heh, just have to keep climbing all over it like a monkey to be able to get things to work out right for me by the football game this Friday. I'm so nervous already, I just hope either I or Randelyn (head snare) don't mess up during the show else the band's basically f'ed over. ^ ^; Good to know that one, eh? Heh, I think so.
Picked up that piccolo from the Jr High so I'll have something to audition on, mine's still in shop. ; ; I miss my picc, but, if it means getting it to play the bottom notes again, I can live with out it for another month. *sigh* Anyways, I cleaned up the wooden picc that was, somehow, found, it was quite disgusting, mind you, seeing how it was all white and green... So, an hour and a half later and a decent amount of bore oil for the wood so it wouldn't split along with my good old 'elbow' grease, and it actually looks like a decent piccolo!
Ran through all the scales on it just fine, gets the lower decently, not like mine though, well, once it's fixed anyways. Middle range was, oddly enough, quite well, didn't hold that 'fuzzy' sound you hear with a number of piccs. Upper register was a bit... Screechy, but that was probably all just from me not being used to it. Good news is it can reach a third octave D with no problems, so, for now, I'm content with it.
Worked on my HBoA stuff today in Applied Techs, get to pass off two solos tomorrow infront of everyone. No sweat there. ; )
And now, with that bit out of the way, I'm heading off to bed for now seeing as I must be up in... *counts on her fingers* Five hours or so for school. Huzzah! lol
Night ya'll!
L.
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Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:29 pm
9-29
*whistles* Man, it's been a long while since I wrote for this thing... Too long, I think, so, it's time for an update on all of the bull s**t that has become marching practice! >.>;
As you can tell, it's not going well for me.
*takes a deep breath*
*winces*
So, two heart attacks later, my director is finally starting to see that just 'maybe' I'm telling him the truth about the second Drum Major and how she does nothing during practice, yells at me, calls me racist and that I'm targeting her and that 'maybe', now, I'm not the bad guy!
*grumbles*
As you can tell, it's not much fun for me. So, in order to keep me from having MORE heart problems, I'm just going to leave it at that and put an update about it later on.
-Lessons-
Lessons are turning out half way decent, a few of my little flutes have dropped for a few weeks in order to help keep me healthy and I've dropped giving full master classes once a week over Region stuff as directed by my doctors. : / Meh, no worries! ^ ^; I still have my little piccolo Sophomores to work with, they're actually quite fun because they're so competitave with one another, it's mildly amussing to see and it only helps by making them actually work harder on their stuff. *nods* Not half bad for me, I say.
-HBoA-
Oh, dear lord.
I got sick the day before, had one of my 'mini heart attacks', or so I've dubed them, at practice and was only getting even more sick through out the week so, by the time I had to record else have nothing, my pieces sounded like crap.
I mean, crap.
*sighs* Oh well, I had to end up learning two totally different solos, rather easy ones, mind you, as of about four days before hand because I couldn't get my fast one up to the tempo they wanted and still sound decent with the recording, I mean, I'd no place to breathe and things weren't looking good at all.
I liked my march though, it was so much fun and at a 128 tempo, I had that sucker flying on the triplets and runs, it made me happy then and, since I've the part I had to play memorised, it makes me happy when I randomly start playing it... Even if people look at me like I'm crazy for doing so. ^ ^;
Anything else?
Mm, well, I could go into detail as to everything that's been going on...
Or...
I could go write more on my story or work on my piccolo, since I've gotten it back and it still doesn't work... Mmph. I think I'm going to go write, keeps me a bit on the stress free side.
Until later then, ya'll!
Oh yeah, and one last thing...
Go COOGS!
L.
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Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:33 pm
10-1
"Panic attacks, panic attacks me now, see that redemption's mine."
~ Finger 11
Good song, that one, but not quite the attack I had at this past football game. >.>; Well, I suppose it's time to dish out the story else you'll find me a total nut job... For anyone who bothers to even read this thing. Heh. sweatdrop It all started back at the start of this marching season... *insert shimmery image here*
Her name is Kim, last names don't matter on the internet, so we'll just call her Kim. She was given the title of Second Drum Major this past spring during our tryouts for the position, myself having worked my own a** off for the title of Head. Everything seemed to be going well, yeah, sure, she didn't show up during all of June and July, but who could blame her? Working in the dust filled libary we have at my school is tough, tedious, back breaking, jean ripping work! And yes, 'jean ripping' because, now, I've three pairs of jeans with holes from the filing cabnits. : /
Of course, I didn't mind, not really anyways, since it was the summer and the work had to be done by someone, so, if no one else bothered with it and the directors were fussing over show details, who was I to argue? It's just part of the job, you take on all the s**t the guys in charge don't have time to deal with, it's called being a Drum Major. Yeah, we get shinny gloves and a cool stand to fall off of, but the bottom line is that we get all the 'goffer' work, get constantly bitched at, and never get a lick of thanks save for the once in the blue moon moments when the head director realizes that none of the show could have worked with out you.
But, being me, I don't mind, I actually enjoy having a part to play and enjoy the leadership challanges that are thrown my way... And to hear the roar of the crowd behind me at BoA San Antonio or anywhere else is something I'll never forget for the rest of my life, it's amazing and my kind of drug to know that I was there to help everyone on the field give it their all and never look back.
*sighs*
That's what makes all this worth it.
Anyways, back on the subject of Kim.
Yes, she's an entire subject dedicated to her now, it's a title that is known either as 'oh s**t...', '******** piece of crap', or 'Ugh, Kim'. A daily thing I despise full heartedly for oh so many reasons.
Since the start of the season, this girl has done, quite literally, nothing, or, if she actually does something, it's the very least amount of effort she can put forth onto what ever it is she has to get done. If it's an inside job where she can sit around and do nothing, oohhhh, she'll have that done for you by the end of practice! ... Four hours later where as, with me, it'd be done in ten mins or less.
Seriously.
Further more, this girl shows up late to practice every single day. If it was once or twice during the entire season, I could understand that, it happens sometimes and there's outside forces at work here or there that we've no control over. But every damn day?
We only work a total of eight hours, it's the UIL rule, but I'm constantly up at the high school during the day doing what ever little help I can here or there, even if it's just organizing things so they'll be a quick grab for the Section Leaders to make practice run smoothly that night. But does Kim ever do anything? Oh, Lord help us should she ever 'cause the floods will come and wash us all away again!
But!
I can handle that. Yeah, it's hard work and I'm running constantly for so many hours after having been in the hospital for 40 days only a few months back and am having health issues still, I'm fine. Yeah, not really, but I can play the part well enough, makes me think I should have gotten into Theatre when I had the chance. *shakes head*
No, for you see, it's none of that that REALLY eats away at me...
It's her stealing my title from beneath me.
It's her calling me racist when I'm far from it.
It's her making me look like a lazy a** who does nothing.
It's her blamming me for everything that goes wrong.
It's her saying that I'm giving my closest friends 'special privalages' when I give everyone in the band the exact same treatment 'cause they're all my close friends.
It's her never lifting up a finger to do anything when I ask for help 'cause I can't do it on my own.
It's her telling one of the sax players that she'll shove his Bari up his p***s if he doesn't shut up.
It's the way she begrades everyone in the band for nothing.
...
It's for convincing the directors that I'm just a slutty piece of trash who's slept around with people in the band so they'll side with me.
Ohhh, she urks me to no extent! I mean, seriously urks me! What the hell did I do wrong is a past life to deserve all of this...? Did I kill someone she loved? Did I rip out that precious little weve of her's that I've been craving to do so for the past two weeks? What ever it was, I can't stand her any longer! It's finally gotten to the point where I've tried to kill myself over this, she's run me into the ground and I just can't deal with it any more. I can't handle her bull s**t any longer! I never did anything wrong, ANYTHING, I've only been doing my job, but, apparently, I can't even do that right!
*snarls* <******** b***h, she is, but I can't get around this, I've tried! Believe you me, I've tried everything, and I'm not a hard person to get along with!
*takes a deep breath*
*sighs heavily*
*growls a bit*
Anyways, because of all of that, I've been forced to take everything else out of my life that could possibly cause stress since my ulcers/migranes/heart problems are all caused by it. But, I could live with that, I gave up being Debate Captian for my Senior year, I've given up Project Earth, gave up running for BPA President for this year along with putting my project on the back burner for a few months, and now can't work the horses either with out causing some form of stress... But I had my music and that's all that mattered.
Until it was taken from me.
Kim replaced the one thing I loved most with a burning Hell fire that I wish, some days, would just consume the Earth so I wouldn't have to deal with her. Heh, that's what I wanted most on my 18th Birthday this year... To let the world burn, but, since I couldn't quite pull it off, I attempted to kill myself instead, but, thankfully, my boyfriend saved me by talking me out of it and forcing me out of my car.
*sighs*
I love Nathan so much sometimes, he's my only escape I know she'll never be able to reach in my life.
So, back on subject, all of this crap just kept building and building until, finally, I just snapped. Instead of getting into a full blown fist fight with the girl, I forced myself to walk away...
And walked out of practice.
I didn't look back, nor did I stop to give any reason nor explination, I just finshed the job I was doing, threw Kim a nasty look for being up on MY podium, and left. That was the night I tried to kill myself, I tried almost everything I could to get into a wreck and, just when I was about to floor it and run off the road into the woods, my boyfriend called and forced me to pull over to the side of the road. I don't know how he knew, nor will I ever know, but he knew what I was doing and, from all my tears, just what it was about. I hurt so bad all over, I just wanted to die and get it over with, nothing mattered any more, no one cared... No one but Nathan.
So, after spending three hours going a fifteen minute drive, I ended up back home, sick as a dog, and curled up in the bed for all of the next day. When I showed back up to practice on Thursday, I knew there'd be some form of punishment for me leaving like that, but I didn't care, I still didn't care about anything, I was easy to tears, of which is very, very hard for me to be, and totally tuned out the world... Until I was told what the punishment was.
Because I never do anything and am so unreliable, Kim has been given the last half of the show.
Not the ballad, not the closer, but all of it. I get to conduct a whopping four minutes of a ten minute show.
...
So, I put on a rather closed face, nodded, and took up my old position from last year on the 35 yard line. Orders are orders and when an alpha gets thrown down, pinned there, and given either the choice of life or death... I'd nothing else I could do.
Ohh, was the band pissed.
But, per usual, no one said anything nor stood up for me, they complained and bitched and yelled and such, but no one went to the directors about it, so, Friday rolled around and nothing had been done. *sigh* Nothing's yet to have been done, now that I think about it... Anyways, back on subject again.
Friday night football game, woo! Yeah, 'woo' for those who cared, I, still, didn't nor was I all physiced about the whole 'pep-rally' thing, it was just another day in which I wanted the world to burn or just to go away and let me curl up in a hole on my own and never be found again. *sighs* If only the world were so simple.
Did a short run through before the game with me still on the side, no one was happy.
Well, save Kim.
She'd the brightest smile on her face that anyone's ever seen.
So, the game rolled around and, due to having all of our Jr High kids come and sit with us for this game as 'Jr High Night', we had to drag out two podiums in order to be seen down on the track with them up in the stands. Of which, I did all the hauling, setting up, running met for warm-ups, setting up the mic for the director to be heard, organized potty lines, dealt out tampons to girls who needed them, and made sure everyone was where they needed to be. Finally, I got a break and a cup of water only to be yelled at for not doing anything while Kim was standing there on the side just chatting away with the cheer leaders.
Ugh.
But, I ignored it and kept on doing my job. Helped unload the trucks for the pit, helped set up water for everyone, got down a quick schedual of when to play what from the Principal/Counsalor, and made sure everyone was, again, where they needed to be and did it all with a smile and cheer so the Jr High kids would stay happy, since a few are my lesson kids, after all. Two didn't understand why I didn't have my flute with me and why my uniform was gray, black, and silver and not marroon, black, and silver. Too cute.
Football game rolls around, the band gets ampted up to play and!
I'm up on the poduim conducting everything.
Ohh, that's not the part that I don't like, trust me, I ADORE conducting, it's such a release for me, it's almost as amazing as playing flute when you're so sad and depressed the silver just seems to take all your tears and pour them into a vine etched glass and weep for you... *sighs* So beautiful.
But, what got to me, was the fact that Kim had yet to, still, do anything and part of our job is to conduct the stand tunes as so the band won't fall apart on some of them, mind you our 'Fight Song', aka, the 'Aggie War Hymn', doesn't need them, but it helps the drum line from beating each other with their sticks at the end and snapping, thusly creating order for half time of which everyone can relax and just go with the groove.
Mmph.
Oh well, that didn't get to me too greatly 'cause, again, I love to conduct, so I was just doing my own thing and, when not, helping out where I was needed to keep order and peace and everyone having a good time.
Until half time.
I had to go off to warm-up my flute real fast for the duet in the ballad with me and one of my best friends and all Hell seemed to break loose.
The doctor beat, you know, the $100 plus thing that the snares hate with a passion, was gone, as was the patch chord that went with it. Somehow, from the stands to the side line, it had been lost. Now, this wasn't my job to keep up with, I did warm-ups and handed the met to the head snare to hang on to and give to Kim at half time, Kim was, then, supposed to get it to Meals, our Head Director, for warm-up on the ground.
She ******** lost it between Randels (head snare's nick name) and the director.
*shakes head*
So, it was my fault and had to come out of my band account, just what I need, more crap to try and pay off when I'm having a hard enough time paying for my uniform for this year AND keep up with trying to help my parents pay off my hospital bills. *sighs*
Well, I let it slide, I was pissed, but I let it slide for the time being and focused only on the show, it was my job, if I screwed up, then the band would and -
Then I remembered that I wouldn't be conducting the show that night from the fifty.
...
I tried to ignore it, I really did, but I couldn't help myself... I started crying again and just wanted to vanish or for the ground to swallow me whole, but it didn't and, in order to keep people from freaking out in the band, I put on a smile and took up my place. I could tell so many people were pissed with Kim at that game, none of the Seniors played any of the music, and everyone ended up watching me because Kim kept on getting thrown off so much it was horrible. The ballad almost fell apart, it only came back together when I scrambled up my old ladder and everyone could see me again and a steady tempo was kept in place.
*sighs*
After all of that mess, Kim climbed down, shaking, before everyone was done marching off the field, a big 'no, no' when it comes to our Drum Line 'cause they can't see anyone, so, when everyone's off, they can stop playing the cadance. Ohh no, I had my eyes fixed upon the head snare and she wasn't about to let anyone quit because SHE did. So, I got them off the field and everyone onto the side line, ran through the Fight Song as the football team came on and started herding everyone back over to our part of the stands...
And that's when it hit.
I'd just gotten back over to the piece of track we were using and the first podium set up when I had a really sharp pain stab me in the chest, right in my heart. It hurt so bad I was doubled over, leaning on the stand for support. Luckily, it was only fleeting and started to lighten up, but my left arm, instead, had started to get all tingalie (sp?) and my finger tips had gone numb. So, I walked over to the fence line of the stands and asked a Junior if she could get me a glass of water, of which she jumpped to do and asked me if I was alright when she handed it to me because I looked pale and my lips had started turning purple. I smiled and told her I was alright and just needed to sit down...
I couldn't hold the cup steady. All the water spilled and I only got one sip before I had to put the cup down, Meals, my head director, had just started walking back, probably to have me get to starting another potty line or something when I took two steps and said, "I have to get my jacked off. I HAVE TO GET IT OFF!" And started peeling off my gloves, gauntles, and was scrambling to try and unzip my jacket from the back, all while falling onto my knees.
I black out after that.
Apparently, I was crying, trying to gasp for air, and clutching at my chest. I still have the nail marks over my breast from where my nails dug through my shirt and into my skin to try and stop the pain. The EMS guys ran over and put me up on the strecher when I finally came to, I remember hurting so badly, I wanted to scream, but I had no air in my lungs to be able to do so.
An hour or so later, I was finally able to settle enough to where I could breathe and figure out what all was going on around me. As it were, I had been kicked out of the EMS so a football player with a broken neck could be moved to a place where life flight could reach him. I, for one, was still quite sore and my chest still hurt, but wanted to go back over to the band and finish out my job, it's just how I am. But, at the request of my father, Meals, and my Principal, I was carted off home instead.
I got messages the next morning that a lot of people had been crying and thought that I was going to die or something. People were freaking out over what had happened, all of my close friends had been crying and a number of people I didn't think cared about me were also doing the same, I'd a number of guys who were worried about me and a few that had wanted to try and help or just do something to make me better, anything.
...
I couldn't believe how many people cared about me.
Nor, it seems, could my director.
So, now, I get to go to practice tomorrow and have a 'Come to Jesus' talk with Kim and Meals to try and settle things, I just hope it doesn't end up being a fist fight 'cause, if it is, I'm goin' home with a new set of pretty blond, totally fake, braids to hang on my wall.
^ ^
That'd be a nice trophy, I think, but... Sadly... I doubt I can get away with that one too easily with out some form of problems.
So, yeah...
That's that.
L.
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 8:36 pm
12-2
My goodness, has it been over a month since I last posted here? It seems far longer to me, but, I guess that's part of being a Senior is all about.
So, basically, I'm going to ramble off my thoughts on different matters dealing with music in my world and update on what all has happened from making State Marching to making Honor Band of America on piccolo, of which I'm still happy about. Yep.
Here goes...
Oops, I just randomly burped. Heh, very lady like of me, eh? Mmm, not really, though it did taste like tea, probably from the glass I'm drinking right now. Anyways, lets see, what to ramble on...
Nathan.
He's my, well, I guess you could call him my boyfriend, though I just call him 'my guy' or 'my Nathanla', which, basically, means he's... My... Guy. Heh, yeah, I'm origional with nick names, though 'twinkle farie' fits as well, long story with that one, but when it comes down to the jist of things I'm missingh him worse than a love struck pup could ever possibly. I mean, for awhile, I just had nothing happy in my life, like, there was this hole that was left behind when he went off to his training for the Marines and I was letting it devour every part of my life since the only good thing to it had left me behind.
Don't get me wrong, I support him and his dreams to become a Marine... I just don't know if I can be part of that dream.
I mean, this is the guy that wants me to marry him, wanted me to marry him before he left, and added me as his fience when he enlisted. He's that head over heels for me... And, I think, I'm only going to end up breaking the poor guy's heart because of what I want to do with my life. I hate the thought, but... I want to be able to live my life to see where it will take me, espically with everything else going on in it now, and I don't want to have to be 'tied down' if I'll only end up hurting him in the long run.
Does that make me a bad person?
*sigh* I think about that every time I think about Nate, if I'm doing the right thing by waiting until he's back from boot camp to bring it up... I keep telling myself to wait one more week to get a letter from him, or anything really, to show me that he'll be alright, and that, if by the end of the week, I haven't gotten anything, then I'll just call it quits... But, so far, I'm going on week six of telling myself that and, ever vigilant, here I sit. Waiting to hear from him, waiting for a sign, waiting for anything to tell me if he's alright, if he's safe, or if he still cares about me.
I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to hurt him either, I love him too much to do that, but... I don't know how much longer I can keep up with all of this. But his parents are nice though, I called them a few weeks back to see if they'd gotten anything from him.
They had.
Many times.
When I heard that news from them, I put on a happy face and made myself sound happy on the phone and that I wasn't worrying over it, but, as soon as I hung up, I fell to my knees, holding my arms wrapped about me so tight it hurt and I cried. I don't remember how long I cried, but I did.
Of course, time still keeps on moving and, some where in all of this...
WALLER BAND ADVANCES TO STATE
It was the first time my small town has ever had a picture in the paper that was as large as that one and in full color. Of course, I never got to conduct from the 50 again for the rest of the contests, I got only one show under my belt before the podium was ripped out from beneath me.
Freakin' Kim.
I let myself get so caught up by everything going on that I was drowning into the darkness that surrounded me and fast. Of course, she hadn't helped in any of that and, from the way I always seemed so 'gone' as I was often told, I think it made her happy. Oh well, that's over with, for the most part anyways.
Well, time went by and I, after being hounded by a girl in my English class after she tried to explain to me how the idea weres were idiotic (of which I argued over imensly) in books, ended up making a deal where I would read 'Twilight' if a girl, the one I'd been argueing with, read 'Bitten'. So, I ended up picking up a copy from a friend, found it to be alright, and then found a copy of 'New Moon' abandoned in one of my classes. Snagged it and got just to the point where Bella realizes how she was acting when it dawned on me...
I was acting exactly like Bella had been.
Yeah, sure, the situations were different and I wasn't pinning over some vampire guy, but... I'd been just as dead to the world as anything and I hadn't done anything to make the situation any better or worse, I was sinking into this pit of despair that I couldn't get out of and felt like it was tearing me apart.
I almost died of laughter once I found out.
You know, that hystarical kind of laughter where you're the only one who finds something funny and everyone gives you those strange looks. Yeah, I was in the hall when I did that, right between classes, and people must think I've lost a few screws along the way.
So, slowly, I'm building myself back together. Aka, I'm finding a million things to do to keep myself busy from my flute studies to keeping the entire house clean, you'd be suprised at how much I was able to do to NOT think about Nathan being gone or anything else happening in my life. Looking back on it, I find it really rather odd that everything had been so... Clean. Don't get me wrong, I like to keep things decently so, but the way the upstairs, where I'm the only one to go, looked was to the point that you could almost eat off the carpets and such, though, personally, I would advise against that, seeing how my sister had a puppy named Button that has a bad problem of piddling every where.
That and the nightmares... *shivers* Give me creepy, give me horror, and I can stand it, but give me a nightmare where I have to see that look of utter disgust on my guy's face... And I wake up in tears every time.
*sighs*
Enough of that, I shouldn't be thinking about it right now anyways, those sort of things just make me cry these days. He'll be back, at some point, and if he doesn't want me anymore, than it's something I'm going to deal with, besides, I want to be able to live my life and not be tied down... Right?
Yeah.
Sure thing.
So, aside from all of that, I, recently, went down to U of H to take a tour of Moores, a lesson from Dr. Clark, and got to sit in on the Wind Ensemble for their practice. Freakin' awesome, I say, but... Not quite the kind of school I'm looking for.
This past Friday, the 30th, I also went alllllllll the way up to TAMU - Commerce. Now that was one hell of a drive for me, considering I live a good 45 mins outside Houston and Commerce is an hour and 15 from Dallas (if you're going at pretty fast clip, really), but... The drive was so worth it.
I met for a lesson with Mrs. Goranson and made the lesson, of which I learned sooo much in, fly by before I even had the chance to look at the time! I loved every min of it and we got through so much music that I had, origionally, thought 'man, we're flying through this stuff, it hasn't even been ten mins yet!' Of course, it had been over that, but I didn't mind in the least! I also got to audition for the music devision of the school, which, basically, was the entire school since they're soooo music based.
My first jury.
*shivers*
I was so nervous, I was almost shaking, but, with a look at Mrs. Goranson and seeing her smile, I was some how able to calm myself down and just, well, be me. I was light hearted and honest in all of my anwsers, kept everything friendly and even got everyone to laugh a time or two, so it was rather nice. And then... I played.
Bach E Minor Sonata - Andante
Martinu First Sonata for Flute
I played my 'little' Martinu piece first, got through two pages before I was asked to stop, I didn't have any major points where I crashed and burned, though I did have a few finger fumbles here or there and a wrong note once when my finger slipped (could you tell I was nervous?), but it cleared up as I went along.
Then came my little Bach piece.
I do seriously love this piece, when I play it, I put everything I feel about Nathan into it, every fiber of love I feel for him, every mourful second I'm with out him, and the pain I feel with him gone, with out hearing word of him and let that feeling of being torn apart, of falling into the darkness about me just come out in what I was playing...
I didn't realize until I was done playing it that I'd done it all a step away from the stand with my eyes closed.
Heh, I just about blushed when I opened my eyes to see everyone, sitting at the edge of their seats or still as stones with their mouths open or their eyes wide. Apparently, I did good? *shrugs* I just played it how I usually do and totally forgot that I was in the room or that anyone was watching.
Yeah, I can go to A&M - Commerce now, if I want to, and, after talking with the director of bands for a long while, can get all the help I need schollarship wise.
So, after the long drive home that night, I get in around midnight or so with my dad and get online to check my mail...
2008 Honor Band of America
Was all the email said, I was shaking so bad after I read the title of it that I had to remember to breath as I clicked on it. I didn't think I'd make it in, in fact, I think I'd convinced myself that my recording hadn't been all that good... But, then, I read this.
November 29, 2007
Dear Lauren,
Congratulations on being selected as a member of the 2008 Honor Band of
America! Thank you for submitting a recording to the audition process
for
this elite organization. Members of applied music faculties from some
of
our countries leading universities evaluated the recordings. The
performance level of all of the recordings was extremely high, and you
should be very proud of your accomplishments.
As Music for All celebrates the 17th anniversary of the National
Concert
Band Festival and the 3rd Orchestra America National Festival, we are
excited that you will be a part of the prestigious 2008 Honor Band of
America. We hope that this opportunity marks a milestone in your
musical
career. Gary Green, Professor and Chair, Department of Instrumental
Performance, and Director of Bands at Miami University, will conduct
the
Honor Band of America.
All of the information you will need for participation will be sent in
a
separate packet later this week. Please read it carefully, as there
are
important documents which need your immediate attention. The first
responsibility will be to accept this invitation by making your first
payment of $150.00 by Monday, December 10. This date is later than
what is
published on the application, due to our delay in finalizing the
accepted
members. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
Again, congratulations on being selected as a member of the 2008 Honor
Band
of America. We look forward to seeing you in Indianapolis!
I just about died when I read that. I didn't even get past the first few lines before I busted out in tears, jumpping up and down and started screaming like a fan-girl seeing her idol for the first time. It was rather nice and I think my parents finally realized when I came bolting out of the house to tell them, that I really can do something with my music... Yeah, I picked a major where I could end up living in a card board box, but, damn it, my box is going to have windows with flower pots drawn on the sides! lol
So, yep, that's been a quick up date on my rambalings... I'll make sure to keep everyone up to date a bit more than I have been and will add a list of what all we'll be playing for HBoA this comming Feb, so, until then, I bid you all a good night.
L.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:22 pm
12-8
*bouncing around singing*
"I got my piiicccooooloooo back! I got my piiiiiiiicoloooo back!"
Hehe! I forgot how much I adore playing the piccolo! <3 *sigh* Man, it's good to have my baby back home from New York where I get to play it when ever I feel like it (or have to to keep up with my lessons and music lol ) and don't have to use the metal piece of poop that was lent to me. Not that I'm one to look a horse in the mouth mind you, well, unless I'm buying it, I guess, but that's not the point!
So, I got my piccolo back this past Wednesday from Mr. Jeff Wissemen up in New York. He's, basically, among the Flute Gods when it comes to repairs, sales, and every other manner of American workings and just so happens to be the same person that I got my Mura from as well! *pets her Muramatsu* Pretty.
Anyways, I got it back only to develop mouth sores the same day all along the TIP of my tongue! Ugh, tounging was a nightmare. Hell, even talking was a real b***h for the most parts, but it gets so much better, on Thursday, when I wake up, I've a splitting migrane and my left eye is swollen shut. Oh goody, espically with Region try-outs this past Saturday and me not having a piccolo mouth what so ever!
Uck.
So, I spent all of Thursday curled up in a dark corner, praying for the pain to go away because, by that point, even tylenol 3 wasn't cutting through the sharp stabbing, pounding, teeth wrenching hurt I felt.
Not cool.
Totally.
Not.
Cool.
Yeah, so Friday was spent at the doctor's office getting meds that would help and, low and behold, they work! Praise Jesus! lol Yep, the migrane finally went away Friday night, but I have a person rule that I follow with out failure; NO PRACTICING THE NIGHT BEFORE AUDITIONS/RECITALS!!!! If I do, I screw up, horribly so, and, because of this, I was playing long tones like a beast during my warm-up time this morning before region auditions.
The audition, in itself, was alright, none of the piccolos really knew the music like I had expected so I fit in easily enough...
Until I got my room letter.
Freakin' letter A!
*grumbles*
I despise going first, it gets my nerves totally wired and I tremble like a baby getting shaken baby syndrome, I even have people ask me if I'm dying or something while I'm playing, I've scared everyone from other players to the room moniters to the judges when we all go to leave the room and back again! >.< Not cool, not cool at all.
But, I survived. I butchered the music to the first piece horribly, it sounded like making an attempt to sight-read it while not trying to drop their horn it was so bad. Man, I thought I was a gonner right then and there only to discover, once I'd sat back down and the next girl got up... That I wasn't alone in my utter suckage for the first piece! Everyone had something wrong with it and one girl didn't play half the correct notes, so I was a little reassured by that. Oh, and we had a Gb scale, which, I did decent on, but I'm not proud of it. : /
Second piece comes up. I'm last in line, since I'd just gone first, so I get a bit to just sit back and chill. Yeah, considering there was only seven of us total, but I got a good five mins out of it, so I didn't mind. But no one, I mean, no one put dynamics into the music to make it, well, music instead of just notes and I was stunned. Last year, the slow piece was the fiercest of them all because everyone just sang their hearts out during it, but this time... They kinda pooped the bed, which made me feel sorta bad for the judges because I knew the piece wasn't getting the justice it deserved, everyone was taking it just too fast and weren't trying to make it sound like the love song it is and - !
Bubbling with tucked up emotions, my mind was suddenly thrown back onto just what the love song could be about and the story one of my friends told me that I snuffed off... Well, altered around a bit, it could very easily fit into how my life has been as of late, espically with me missing my Nathanla so horribly so. A twenty second break and, finally, after what seems like ages to me, it was my turn.
I played my A scale, made sure to keep a steady beat and to make it lyrical and such, and exhaled slowly. I closed my eyes and tried to find the one spot in my soul that I knew was the one place no one could harm me, the one place that, even still, hurts worse than anything I've every known in my life with Nathan being gone...
And played.
I opened my eyes, took a deep breath, and just let the pain come out in my music. I let my baby, my piccolo that I love so dearly, just tell the world what my lips never could, to tell everyone in that room a story of a poor girl who's heart aches for the one she loves, never knowing if he's alright, if he's safe from harm, if she'll ever see him again and, just when they think it's so sad and heart broken does the tempo shift ever so slightly to let her true fears be seen; the doubt and worry if he'll still love her when he comes back, if she'll ever be enough to match someone as strong, as loyal, as kind hearted, and as protective as the one she'd fallen head over heals. I was in tears when I finished, not crying mind you, but had tears to my eyes because I had tapped into that one place inside of me that I never let one touch in fear of being torn apart and just let that tear be heard through my music...
When I turned around to take my seat, I kinda ducked my head to hide my face behind my hair and didn't go to wipe my eyes until I was back behind everyone again, of course, it didn'thelp that, when I did, one girl reached over and hugged my shoulders. I was slipped a note saying that I'd done that beautifully and, by the looks of the room moniter's eyes just as teary as mine were, I'd done well and everyone had understood, to some degree, the pain I felt.
*sigh*
Well, the moment was short lived and, as it must, time kept on marching that tempo onword before us all as the last piece was brought up.
I was in the middle this time, smack dab, really, and played with dynamics and such that no one else was bothering with, made echos happen where they should, and made more lyrical sense of the piece than anything and, as for the scale, kept my chromatic in a steady six beat style from a low D to a high C all in one breath. I was happy with that one, though I did have a bit of an airy sound on the way up for a few notes, I quickly recovered.
Once it was all said and done, I was relieved, as I always am, but... Also kinda sad. Of course, that sadness only lasted for a fleeting second before, once I was in the hall, did I jump, punch the air, whoop and holler that I was done with Region forever, damn it! xD
Until I have to judge, that is. Heh, but I don't have to worry about that for another four years at least. ; )
Ohhh, I was estatic! I didn't care if I probably wouldn't advance because I killed the first piece so badly, all of my fumbles or mistakes couldn't bring down the absolute thrill of having given SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE to Region and had it all under my belt! Ohhh, it was a buzz that lasted for a good long while!
And then the results were posted...
I am the alternate piccolo player for the 5A band comming from a 4A school, which is unheard of, and means I beat out almost every girl in there save the one who owned on the first piece (I mean, she pawned us all!) and am the All-Distric Piccolo for 4A and will be advancing to Area tryouts this comming January.
Man, my schedual is packed with music stuff, I'll hardly have any chance at a life. Oh, wait, I forgot, this is my life!
And I'm loving every second of it.
Well, when it comes to music, Kim can just kiss my a** for all I care these days. ; )
L.
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Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 7:52 pm
4-13-08
Okay... Someone smack my hand. *hangs head* But, I don't feel well, so I'm going to make this quick.
Nate came home. We always fought. We broke up a few days after Valentines', at which we did nothing. : / Oh well.
Met a new guy! He's really nice and understands my whole 'wolf' thing. Pretty kick a**.
Honors Band of America was amazing!
I played in the snow for the first time, loved the cold weather in which I danced every time I went out into it, was named the top piccolo player in AMERICA (******** yes!), listed in the top three for the flutes with our judge refusing to disclose (apparently I did really good *innocent smile*), and totally loved the entire experience. I wish I could go again! ; ;
BPA - State.
That was alright, spent a lot of time with myself since I got my own hotel room and had a constant twitch to play my flute/piccolo. Oh! I got 7th in the State, so, for Texas, that's pretty good. : )
I've been sick on and off, but nothing too drastic save one problem...
>.>;
I'm sick. Duh. But I mean, really sick. Every single med that they give me just turns to poison in my system and gets me sick... Only that, now, I'm just about out of options and not treating this results in one thing; death. So, needless to say, I'm scared.
*cough*
New subject!
I'M GOING TO TEXAS A & M - COMMERCE!!!!
Heck yes. I've signed every and sent in my dorm stuff so I'm going. xD Move in in late August.
Sooo... That's it in a nutshell. Litterly. Yep, well, I'm out. Later ya'll!
~ L.
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